XTRACTS 


From 


An  Elders  Diary. 


THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 

OF  CALIFORNIA 

LOS  ANGELES 


EXTRACTS 


AN  ELDER'S   DIARY 


EDITED  BY 

REV    JOSEPH  B.  STRATTON.   D.  D. 

NATCHEZ,     MISS. 


Presbyterian  CcniMiTTEE  ok  Publication. 


C  •)  F  V  K  I  (J  H  T  K  Ii 
HV 

J  A  S.    K     H  A  Z  E  N,   Secri'/ary  of  Piihlication. 
I  S96. 


Printed  hv 

WlUTTET  &  SHEPHERSON, 

Richmond,  Va. 


NOTE. 


The  permission  to  publish  the  extracts  from 
an  elder's  diary  contained  in  this  volume  was 
given  by  a  competent  aiithority,  at  the  request 
of  the  present  editor,  to  whom  the  privilege  of 
reading  the  original  manuscript  had  been  ac- 
corded. The  request  was  made  in  the  hope 
that  a  record  of  the  actual  labors,  trials  and 
experiences  of  one  bearing  the  important  office 
of  ruling  elder  in  the  Presbyterian  Church, 
interspersed  with  illustrative  incidents,  might 
be  serviceable  to  this  branch  of  the  Christian 
ministry.  Treatises  and  manuals,  proposing  to 
throw  light  upon  the  spirit  and  manner  in  which 
the  functions  of  the  eldership  should  be  dis- 
charged, have  been  numerous  of  late.  The 
fact  may  be  indicative  of  an  awakened  con- 
viction on  the  part  of  the  teaching  ministry 
that  their  worfe  needs  to  be  buttressed  by  an 
increased   efficiency  on  the   part  of  these   co- 


5501S8 


4  Preface. 

acljutors  taken  from  the  body  of  a  church's 
members.  The  house  given  to  the  former  to 
build  is  so  "exceedingly  magnifical"  in  its 
design  and  proportions  that  it  calls  for  an 
expenditure  of  talent  and  toil  greater  than 
any  one  man  can  furnish.  It  has  been  thought 
by  the  editor  that  the  living  picture  afforded 
by  these  annals  of  an  elder's  attempts  'to  do 
his  duty  might  be  a  helpful  supplement  to 
directories  of  a  more  definite  kind,  and  hence 
they  have  been  given  to  the  public. 

It  is  hardly  necessary  to  add,  that  in  cop}'- 
ing  these  extracts  care  has  been  taken  to  con- 
ceal names  of  persons  and  places,  so  as  to 
avoid  the  risk  of  trespassing  upon  the  sanc- 
tities of  private  life.  But  few  changes  in  the 
language  have  been  required  in  preparing  the 
manuscript  for  publication.  The  facts  intro- 
duced, I  have  reason  to  know,  are  realities, 
not  fictions;  and  the  selections  from  the  body 
of  the  diary  have  been  made  with  the  best 
judgment  the  editor  could  exercise. 

J.  B.  Stratton. 

"  Sunsft  Lodge"  \atchez.  Miss. 


CONTENTS. 


I.  T'AGK. 


The  Struggle, 


II. 

The  Decision,         .  .  .  .  .  .  11 

III. 

PRErARATION,  .  .  .  .  .  .  17 

IV. 

A  Practicai.  Problem,   .....         20 


A  Victory,     .......  25 

VI. 

New  Crosses,  .         .         .         .         .         .         32 

VII. 

Peacemaking,  .         .         .         .         .         .         3T 

VIII. 
The  Presbytery,    ......  44 

IX. 

An  Inquirer,  .,         .  .  .  .  .  50 

X. 

The  Sabbath-Sciiool,      .....         59 
5 


6 

Contents, 

XI. 

A  IIevival,     . 

XII. 

A    RoiMANCE,     . 

XIII. 

A  Pestilence, 

XIV. 

The  General  Assembly, 

XV. 

Pastoral  C^hancjes, 

XVI. 

Tribulation, 

xvi: 

Session  ^Meetings, 

Page. 
65 


72 


81 


94 


106 


110 


122 

XVIII 

Sociability.    .......       128 

XIX 

Church  Discipline,  .....        135 

XX. 

Sovereign  Grace,  .....        143 

XXI 

Spiritual  Communications,      ....        150 

XXII. 

£VENTIDE  .  .  .  .  .  .  .162 


EXTRACTS 


AN  ELDER'S  DIARY. 


EXTRACT  I. 


THE  STRUGGLE. 

May  18,  1865. — To  ni}'-  surprise — I  might 
almost  say  dismay — I  have  received  notice 
to-day  of  my  election  at  a  recent  meeting  of 
our  congregation  to  the  office  of  ruling  elder. 
The  announcement  has  thrown  my  mind  into  a 
tumult  which  has  almost  amounted  to  an  agony. 
I  seem  to  be  standing  in  the  presence  of  a 
mountain,  with  a  voice  sounding  in  my  ears, 
bidding  me  to  lift  it.  At  every  glance  I  take 
at  the  stupendous  object,  the  larger  it  seems 
to  grow,  and  the  more  my  consciousness  of 
my  inability  to  bear  its  weight  overwhelms 
me.  My  inclinations  prompt  me  at  once  to 
decline  the  call.  My  judgment,  as  far  as  I  can 
be  said  to  have  any  in  ftiy  present  confusion 
of  mind,  sides  with  my  inclinations.  I  am 
averse  to  positions  of  prominence  or  leadership. 
7 


8  Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

Mj  disposition  leads  me  to  shrink  from  re- 
sponsibility and  the  criticism  to  which  office 
exposes  one.  I  have  not  enjoyed  the  advan- 
tages of  literary  culture.  My  training  has 
been  largely  of  a  practical  sort.  I  feel  myself 
at  home  in  every-day  business  matters,  but  in 
the  higher  field  of  ecclesiastical  legislation  and 
spiritual  science  I  am  a  novice,  needing  to  be 
taught  rather  than  presuming  to  teach.  Be- 
sides, I  am  painfully  lacking  in  self-confidence. 
I  lose  my  command  of  such  resources  as  I  may 
really  possess,  when  called  upon  to  act  in  the 
eyes  of  a  multitude.  My  bewilderment  is  op- 
pressive! I  fear  to  take  a  step  in  any  direc- 
tioD,  lest  it  should  be  a  wrong  one.  Lord, 
help  me !     Send  me  light. 

Sunday,  May  21. — The  last  three  days  have 
been  so  absorbed  in  the  consideration  of  this 
great  question  of  duty  which  has  been  thrust 
upon  me  that  I  have  had  little  capacity  for 
my  ordinary  employments.  My  repugnance  to 
accepting  the  ofiice  proposed  to  me  continues, 
perhaps,  as  decided  as  ever ;  but  sometimes  the 
suspicion  steals  into  my  mind  that  there  may, 
to  some  extent,  be  a  carnal  bias  affecting  my 
way  of  looking  at  the  matter;  and  fearing  that 
I  might  be  unduly  swayed  by  this,  I  have  tried, 
■with  the  simplicity  of  a  little  child,  to  follow 


The  Struggle.  9 

the  counsel  of  the  apostle:  "If  any  man  lack 
wisdom,  let  him  ask  of  God." 

I  have  felt,  at  the  close  of  this  holy  day,  in 
which  I  seem  to  have  been  unusually  conscious 
of  the  nearness  of  that  divine  inspirer,  that 
the  aspect  of  the  harassing  problem  has  some- 
what changed,  and  that  some  of  the  factors  in 
it  which  at  first  appalled  me  have  been  with- 
drawn, and  others  wiiich  I  had  failed  to  appre- 
ciate have  come  into  view. 

I  think  I  am  indebted,  in  part,  for  the  com- 
parative composure  I  enjoy  to-night  to  some 
thoughts  uttered  by  our  pastor  in  his  sermon 
this  morning.  Speaking  of  our  Lord's  remark 
to  his  disciples,  in  Matthew  x.  20,  "It  is  not 
ye  that  speak,  but  the  Spirit  of  your  Father 
which  speaketh  in  you,"  he  explained  that 
^'speaking,"  here,  might  be  understood  as  in- 
cluding all  forms  of  testimony  by  which  men 
may  bear  witness  to  Christ,  or  render  service 
in  the  propagating  of  his  religion ;  and,  while 
admitting  that  the  immediate  reference  of  the 
saying  was  to  the  supernatural  aid  his  disciples 
might  expect  in  their  controversies  with  their 
opponents,  he  argued  that  all  believers  are  au- 
thorized to  expect  from  their  heavenly  Father 
the  help  of  the  Holy  Spirit  in  fitting  them  for 
duty,  more  confidently  even  than  children  are 


10        Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

to  expect  bread  from  the  baud  of  a  natural 
parent.  (Luke  xi.  13.)  "As  the  presence  of 
the  Holy  Spirit,"  he  continued,  "implies  the 
exercise  of  his  power  in  some  way,  there  is 
valid  ground  for  the  expectation  that  this 
power  will  be  exercised  in  behalf  of  every 
sincere  Christian  who  is  striving,  whether  by 
speech  or  work,  to  bring  men  to  the  knowledge 
of  the  truth  as  it  is  in  Jesus." 

In  revolving  these  thoughts,  I  find  that  an 
estimate  of  the  efficiency  I  might  bring  into 
the  office  set  before  me  is  not  to  be  limited  by 
the  paucity  of  my  personal  endowments,  but 
that  the  declaration,  "It  is  not  ye  that  speak, 
but  the  Spirit  of  your  Father,"  carries  me  out 
of  my  feeble  self,  and  shows  me  a  reserve  of 
force  lying  behind  or  above  me,  whose  resources 
are  available  for  me  simply  upon  the  asking. 

The  train  of  my  reflections  has  been,  in  some 
measure,  assuring ;  and  I  go  to  my  rest  repeat- 
ing the  words  of  Moses  (Exodus  xxxiii.  15): 
"If  thy  presence  go  not  with  me,  carry  us  not 
up  hence,"  but  venturing  to  add,  with  a  hesi- 
tating confidence,  "If  that  presence  will  go 
with  me,  Lord,  I  will  lean  upon  thy  strength 
and  go  lip." 


EXTRACT    11. 

THE  DECISION. 

Sunday,  June  4. — I  review  the  events  of 
this  day  with  peculiar  solemnity.  It  seems  as 
if  the  vows  of  consecration,  which  I  made  ten 
years  ago  when  I  was  admitted  to  the  com- 
munion of  the  church,  had  been  repeated 
with  a  special  emphasis  and  a  special  preci- 
sion of  aim  and  purpose.  If  I  said  then,  with 
an  earnest  heart,  "Lord,  what  wilt  thou  have 
me  to  do?"  I  have  with  tenfold  earnestness 
renewed  the  appeal  to-day. 

My  assent  to  the  call  having  been  given  in 
the  previous  week,  it  was  arranged  that  the 
ordination  should  take  place  this  morning,  in 
connection  with  the  administration  of  the  Lord's 
supper,  for  which  this  was  the  regular  season. 
It  was  a  happy  conjunction.  It  was  a  good 
position,  in  the  presence  of  the  symbols  of  the 
Saviour's  service  for  his  people,  for  an  honest 
disciple  to  get  a  view  of  the  measure  of  service 
due  to  him.  It  was  impossible  not  to  respond 
to  the  import  of  the  sacred  festival  in  the  terms 
of  the  apostle's  confession,  "To  me  to  live  is 
Christ." 

11 


12        Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

The  opportunity  was  a  good  one,  too,  in 
which  to  realize  that  my  investiture  with  office 
was  a  fact  as  well  as  a  form ;  for  it  gave  me  the 
privilege,  as  a  minister  in  the  Lord's  house,  of 
presenting  to  my  fellow-believers  the  emblem- 
atic bread  and  cup,  which,  by  his  own  ordi- 
nance, were  to  attest  the  redemption  wrought 
through  his  death  till  he  should  come  again. 

While  the  series  of  thoughts  or  convictions 
by  which  the  result  just  consummated  has  been 
reached  is  fresh  in  m}'  mind,  I  wish  to  record 
them  deliberately,  thinking  that  a  recollection 
of  them  may  be  useful  to  me  in  coming  time. 

First,  then,  I  cannot  entertain  a  doubt  that 
the  congregating  of  Christians  in  the  form  of  a 
church,  as  practiced  by  the  apostles,  included 
in  it  the  appointing  of  a  certain  class  of  per- 
sons to  be  teachers  and  rulers  in  each  particular 
body.  The  economy,  or  hoiise-lcno  of  the  new 
family,  called  necessarily  for  such  a  class.  Ac- 
cordingly, when  a  band  of  disciples  had  been 
gathered  together,  in  several  cities  in  Asia  Minor, 
by  Paul  and  Barnabas  (Acts  xiv.  23),  and  a 
permanent  organization  had  to  be  introduced, 
under  which  their  corporate  life  might  be  pro- 
tected and  cultivated,  they,  that  is,  Paul,  an 
inspired  ambassador  of  Christ,  and  Barnabas, 
his  chosen  associate,  "ordained  them"  elders 


The  Decision.  1'^ 

(or  presbyters)  in  every  city;  and,  then,  "hav- 
ing prayed  with  fasting  and  commended  them 
to  the  Lord  on  whom  they  believed,"  left  the  in 
under  the  sole  charge  of  these  officers.  Simi- 
larly, I  find  that  the  apostle  commissioned 
Titus  his  deputy  to  "  ordain  elders  in  every 
city"  in  Crete.  (Titus  i.  5.)  Uniformly,  I 
may  say,  wherever  I  see  a  church  referred  to 
in  apostolic  writings,  I  see  the  "  elders  "  con- 
joined with  it  as  a  constituent  and  representative 
element.  (See  Acts  xi.  30;  xx.  17;  Jas.  v.  14; 
1  Pet.  V.  1.)  I  am  sure,  therefore,  that  the 
office  that  I  have  consented  to  accept  has  the 
authentic  warrant  of  an  institution  of  the  head 
of  the  church. 

Second,  It  is  clear  to  me,  from  the  tenor  of 
the  Scrjpture  allusions  and  the  probabilities  of 
the  case,  that  there  was,  ordinarily  at  least,  a 
plurality  of  these  elders  in  each  church  ;  and, 
if  so,  "diversities  of  gifts,"  which  led  to  a 
diversity  of  function,  such  as  now  distinguishes 
the  "teaching"  from  the  "ruling"  elder  in  the 
Presbyterian  Church.  I  am  satisfied,  there- 
fore, that  the  office  with  which  I  have  been 
invested  has  a  place  in  the  divine  plan,  and 
needs  to  be  filled,  in  order  to  perfect  the 
organization  of  a  church.  It  strikes  me  that 
this  multiplied  way  of  exercising  the  oversight 


14  EXTHAC"I"S  FROM  AX  ElDEH's  DlAHY. 

of  the  flock  is  eminently  the  result  of  the  wis- 
dom of  the  Holy  Ghost. 

Third,  I  am  constrained  to  conclude  that, 
owing  to  the  incompetency  caused  by  the  old 
age  or  confirmed  ill-health  of  some  of  the 
members  of  the  eldership  in  this  church,  there 
is,  at  this  time,  a  patent  necessity  for  an  addi- 
tion to  their  number.  It  is  clearly  the  duty  of 
some  individual  or  individuals  in  the  male  con- 
stituency of  the  church,  in  this  exigency,  to 
lend  their  services,  however  diffident  they  may 
be  as  to  their  worthiness,  to  this  branch  of  the 
Lord's  work.  The  appeal  addresses  itself  to 
me,  as  well  as  to  others.  It  is  enforced  by  the 
voice  of  my  brethren.  If  it  is  I  whom  the 
Master  needs,  I  must  not  refuse  to  obey. 

Fourth,  I  see  that  many  who,  like  Moses 
and  Jeremiah,  have  had  a  clear  vocation  from 
God  to  do  service  in  his  kingdom,  and  have 
shrunk  from  the  mission  assigned  them  through 
conscious  unfitness,  have,  nevertheless,  when 
obediently  taking  up  their  l>urden,  "out  of 
weakness  been  made  strong " ;  and  by  their 
history  I  am  admonished  to  be  distrustful  of 
those  self -distrusting  scruples  which  led  me,  at 
first  view,  to  object  to  a  proposed  work  for  God. 

Fifth,  I  find  a  growing  attractiveness  in  the 
work  I  am  invited  to  take  up,  from  the  couvic- 


The  Decision.  15 

tion  that  it  will  uot  only  add  to  my  opportuni- 
ties for  doing  good,  but  will  contribute  largely 
to  my  growth  in  personal  piety.  I  am  sure  the 
"one  thing"  I  have  set  before  me  as  the  su- 
preme end  of  my  present  life  is,  "to  press  to- 
ward the  mark  for  the  prize  of  the  high  calling 
of  God  in  Christ  Jesus,"  I  persuade  myself 
that  in  obeying  this  call  of  the  church  I  shall 
realize  more  sensibly  the  force  of  this  "  high 
calling."  I  shall  be  brought  into  more  con- 
scious sympathy  and  fellowship  with  Christ. 
In  "losing"  my  life  for  his  sake,  in  giving  my 
thoughts  and  cares  to  the  interests  of  his  cause, 
I  may  hope  to  experience  the  blessed  result  of 
"saving"  it,  in  the  sense  of  quickening  and 
maturing  the  spiritual  principle  within  me.  I 
may  find  myself  growing  richer  in  grace  in 
proportion  as  I  abridge  my  schemes  of  self- 
seeking  (which  is  the  name  for  worldly  busi- 
ness), and  consecrate  my  energies  to  the  ad- 
vancement of  Christ's  kingdom.  There  is  an 
inspiration  in  this  idea  which  gives  me  courage, 
and  which  I  cannot  but  think  comes  from  above. 
The  peace  it  has  brought  me  is  peculiar.  May 
I  not  regard  it  as  the  "  perfect  peace  "  promised 
to  those  "whose  minds  are  stayed  on  God"? 

Sixth,  I  have  been  confirmed  in  the  conclu- 
sion to  which  I  have  come,  by  an  exalted  view 


16        Extracts  from  an  Eldeu's  Diary. 

of  the  nature  of  that  faith  wliich  I  am  exercis- 
ing. It  appears  to  me  it  is  a  sort  of  transmu- 
tation— a  putting  of  him  in  whom  I  trust  in 
the  place  of  myself,  or  a  transfer  of  my  poor 
personality  to  that  of  my  Chief,  who  has  said 
to  his  messenger,  "  Go,  and  I  will  be  with 
thee ! "  The  work  I  am  to  do  must  be  done  by 
a  human  instrument,  by  human  methods;  but 
the  Being  who  has  allowed  me  to  link  myself 
with  him  can  give  a  potency  to  my  efforts  be- 
yond what  they  inherently  possess.  I  will 
measure  my  possible  efficiency  by  that  which  I 
know  belongs  to  the  Master  with  whom  I  am 
identified.  This  seems  to  be  the  view  of  faith 
which  St.  Paul  expresses  when  he  says  (Gal. 
ii.  20),  "  I  live,  yet  not  I,  but  Christ  liveth  in 
me";  and  (Phil.  iv.  13)  "I  can  do  all  things 
through  Christ  which  strengtheneth  me."  Here, 
too,  in  the  confidence  that  in  the  sincere  en- 
deavor to  do  the  work  proposed  to  me  I  shall 
be  acting  under  an  inspiration  and  an  invigora- 
tion  derived  from  fellowship  with  Christ,  I 
find  a  ground  of  comfort  as  I  contemplate  the 
grave  responsibilities  I  am  about  to  assume. 
"  We  have  this  treasure  in  earthen  vessels,  that 
the  excellency  of  the  power  may  be  of  God, 
and  not  of  us."     (2  Cor.  iv.  7.) 


EXTRACT   III. 

PREPARATION. 

Sunday,  July  2. — I  have  been  occupied  dur- 
ing the  past  montli  in  studying,  as  I  have  had 
opportunity,  the  nature  of  the  office  of  ruling 
elder,  and  the  form  of  practical  work  which  it 
includes.  For  this  purpose  I  have  gone,  first, 
to  the  apostolic  writings,  and  sought  to  get 
from  this  source  a  definite  idea  of  what  the 
infallible  founders  of  the  Christian  church  in- 
tended that  the  presbyters  whom  they  ordained 
should  be  and  do.  This  idea,  I  think,  is  care- 
fully and  correctly  reproduced  in  the  section 
touching  the  ruling  elder  in  Chapter  IV.  of 
the  Form  of  Government  of  our  church.  In 
addition,  I  have  consulted  such  of  the  pub- 
lished treatises  and  hand-books  upon  the  sub- 
ject as  were  within  my  reach.  The  efifect  has 
been  a  helpful  one.  I  feel  that  I  have  a  pre- 
cise and  intelligent  conception,  at  least  as  to 
the  main  points,  of  what  is  required  of  me  by 
conscience  and  the  body  which  has  called  me 
to  be  its  overseer ;  and  my  hope  is  that  I  shall 
be  able,  in  my  manner  of  executing  my  office, 
to  bear  with  me  a  fixed  consciousness  of  its  obli- 
2  17 


18        Extracts  from  ax  Elder's  Diary. 

gatioDS,  and  not  leave  them  to  be  suggested  by 
casual  impulses  or  merely  ceremonial  demands. 
Always,  and  everywhere,  I  want  to  remember 
my  ministry  and  to  "make  full  proof  of  it." 

It  lias  seemed  to  me,  knowing  as  I  do,  and  as 
everybody  does,  what  is  expected  of  the  pastor 
of  a  church,  and  recognizing  the  ruling  elder  as 
a  connecting  link  between  him  and  his  flock, 
touching  both  parties  in  his  relations  and  func- 
tions, that  the  duty  of  the  eider  may  be  com- 
prehended in  this  one  statement — that  he  is  to 
endeavor  in  all  things  except  those  which  be- 
long specially  to  the  pastoral  office  to  make  the 
pastor's  work  his  own.  Through  his  labors 
the  pastor's  efficiency  is  to  be  ramified.  He 
is  to  be  the  arm  which  moves  in  accord  with 
the  will  of  the  head.  What  the  pastor  preaches 
in  the  way  of  doctrine  and  precept  he  is  to  re- 
produce as  a  "living  epistle,"  which  may  be 
read  of  all  men,  in  his  character  and  deport- 
ment; and  what  the  pastor  enjoins  as  a  Chris- 
tian duty  he  is  to  endorse  by  his  consistent 
example.  He  is  to  be  the  reflector  by  which  the 
force  of  the  pulpit  is  to  be  conveyed  to  the  peo- 
ple ;  and  the  reporter  by  whom  the  needs  of 
the  people  are  to  be  disclosed  to  the  pastor. 
St.  Paul  seems  to  have  regarded  Timothy  as 
standing  somewhat  in  this  relation  to  himself,. 


Preparation.  19 

when  he  wrote  to  the  Corinthians  (1  Cor.  iv.  17) : 
"  For  this  cause  have  I  sent  unto  you  Timo- 
theus,  who  is  my  beloved  son,  and  faithful  in 
the  Lord,  who  shall  hriny  you  into  remenihrance 
of  my  %oays^\^\c\\  be  in  Christ,  <is  I  teach  every- 
where in  every  church." 

I  intend  to  keep  this  general  idea  in  my  mind 
as  a  convenient  summary  of  particular  duties. 
I  fancy  that  it  will  give  a  play  and  scope  to  the 
sensibilities  in  my  work,  which,  perhaps,  a  mere 
attention  to  a  routine  or  a  schedule  might  fail 
to  supply.  I  fully  appreciate  the  necessity  for 
order  as  a  condition  of  success  in  any  under- 
taking, and  I  will  try  to  observe  it;  but  my 
disposition  leads  to  chafe  under  the  strict  ap- 
plication of  lines  and  angles  in  religious  ser- 
vices. With  the  regularity  of  Ezekiel's  wheel, 
I  like  to  see  the  free  motion  of  the  "Spirit" 
which  is  in  it. 


EXTRACT  IV. 

A  FR ACTIO AL  PROBLEM. 

Sunday,  July  23. — As  happens  in  most 
cases  with  those  who  bear  the  office  of  ruling 
elder,  I  am  embarrassed  by  the  absorbing  de- 
mands of  secular  avocations.  My  time,  for  the 
greater  part  of  each  week-day,  belongs  to  my 
employers.  I  am  religiously  bound  to  show 
myself  a  just  steward.  I  have  a  wife  and  three 
children,  whom,  by  careful  management,  I  can 
support  comfortably  on  my  salary.  My  solici- 
tvide  for  them  naturally  reaches  beyond  the 
present  moment,  and  calls  for  forethought  and 
scheming  in  order  to  protect  them  against  the 
possible  needs  of  tlie  future.  The  obligation 
to  provide  for  those  of  one's  own  house,  which 
St.  Paul  so  forcibly  urges,  is  one  which  I 
keenly  and  constantly  feel.  How  to  make  this 
consistent  with  the  business  of  my  Father's 
house  is  the  problem  wdth  which  I  am  con- 
fronted. I  must  exercise  the  same  patient  de- 
liberation in  this  matter  that  I  am  accustomed 
to  use  in  adjusting  the  apparently  conflicting 
accounts  which  baffle  me  in  my  book-keeping. 
Fidelity  to  God  and  fidelity  to  man  are  both 
20 


A  Practicax  Problem.  21 

right,  and,  when  properly  conceived  and  de- 
fined, cannot  be  at  variance  with  each  other. 
A  few  points,  at  least,  seem  to  me  clear  now. 

First,  I  take  it  that  for  all  that  I  am  really 
required  to  do  in  the  way  of  spiritual  work 
there  must  be,  somewhere,  an  opportunity. 
If,  after  proper  inquiry  and  experiment,  none 
can  be  found  for  any  particular  act  or  service, 
I  may  make  myself  easy  in  the  conclusion  that 
that  is  not  required  of  me. 

Second,  Through  the  beneficent  arrangement 
of  the  divine  law,  I  have  secured  to  me  one- 
'  seventh  of  my  time,  through  the  recurrence  of 
the  weekly  Sabbath.  A  judicious  use  of  this 
season  may  be  made  to  yield  an  abundant 
opportunity  for  Christian  labor,  without  divert- 
ing it  from  its  appointed  end  as  a  season  of 
sacred  resting.  The  Sabbath,  in  enjoining  rest, 
does  not  proscribe  activity.  It  recognizes  the 
fact  that  rest  is  not  sluggishness,  but  the  sensa- 
tion of  relief  which  one  feels  in  passing  from 
one  wholesome  form  of  activity  to  another. 
The  mere  shifting  from  the  mind  the  burden  of 
weekly  cares  and  responsibilities  brings  with 
it  a  sensible  infusion  of  freedom  and  exhilara- 
tion to  a  jaded  spirit.  The  hours  devoted  to 
public  and  private  worship  are  eminently  rest- 
ful  in   their    influence.      Tlie    atmosphere    of 


22        Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

home-life  is  a  delightful  substitute  for  the 
bustle  and  strife  of  the  market  and  the  factory. 
And  then  the  portion  of  the  day  which  may 
be  given  to  out-door  labor  of  a  religious  sort, 
by  its  throwing  the  energy  of  mind  and  body 
into  new  and  interesting  channels,  may  be  made 
to  minister  refreshment  through  what  appears 
to  be  toil.  My  Sabbaths,  I  am  determined, 
shall  be  harvest  days.  I  see  golden  fruitage  in 
them. 

And,  third,  I  will  "gather  up  the  fragments," 
husband  the  odd  moments  of  my  time.  I  will 
pluck  ears  of  grain  as  I  plod  on  my  daily  er- 
rands through  the  cornfields.  A  little  incident 
which  befell  me  yesterday,  trifling  as  the  shak- 
ing of  a  leaf  on  a  mulberry  tree,  has  taught  me 
that  by  vigilance  and  celerity  an  occasion  may 
be  found  for  thrusting  a  good  deed  into  those 
interstices  of  time  which  are  usiially  so  minute 
as  to  be  deemed  incapable  of  being  turned  to 
any  useful  account. 

As  I  was  leisurely  returning  from  my  dinner, 

I  met  on street  a  little  girl  whom  I  knew 

as  a  Sunday-school  scholar.  I  stopped  to  take 
her  by  the  hand  and  ask  after  her  family,  when, 
with  the  eagerness  to  tell  news  which  is  char- 
acteristic of  children,  she  said:  "Mrs.  S , 

in  there,"  pointing  to  an  adjoining  house,  "is 


A  Practical  Problem.  23 

very  sick."     Mrs.  S was  known  to  me  as 

a  worthy  widow  woman  who  depended  upon 
her  labor  for  the  support  of  herself  and  two 
young  children.  I  looked  at  my  watch,  and 
found  that  I  had  ten  minutes  to  spare  before  I 
was  due  at  my  office.  I  knocked  at  the  door, 
and,  in  answer  to  a  feeble  response,  went  in. 
A  moment's  glance  and  a  few  inquiries  were 
enough  to  satisfy  me  thai  the  poor  woman  was^ 
indeed,  very  sick,  and  that  her  needs  were  nu- 
merous and  urgent.  I  cheered  her  with  a  few 
comforting  words,  and  promised  to  send  some 
one  to  her  relief.  I  hastened  on  my  way,  and 
fortunately  meeting  a  good  lady,  who,  I  knew, 
was  a  member  of  one  of  our  church  associa- 
tions, I  reported  the  case  to  her,  and  arranged 
for  the  immediate  supply  of  all  the  sufferer's 
wants.  To-day,  on  my  way  to  church,  I  called 
and  found  a  nurse  at  her  bedside,  a  physician 
in  attendance,  and  an  ample  stock  of  provisions 
in  the  house.  I  thought  to  myself,  that  little 
blank  of  ten  minutes  was  well  filled  up ;  and 
the  sweepings  of  a  man's  time,  as  well  as  those 
of  the  United  States'  mint,  may  be  found  to 
contain  particles  of  gold. 

With  the  exercise  of  watchfulness  in  detect- 
ing opportunities,  and  promptness  in  using 
them,    I  am   convinced  many  forms   of  Chris- 


24        Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

tian  work  can  be  inserted  into  the  stern  routine 
of  the  busiest  life.  Tlie  eagerness  with  which 
these  cabmen,  whom  I  see  daily  on  the  streets, 
keep  their  eyes  glancing  from  side  to  side,  in 
order  to  pick  up  a  passenger,  has  often  sug- 
gested to  me  the  reflection  that,  if  we  laborers 
for  God  were  half  as  zealous  in  our  endeavors 
to  attract  souls  into  his  kingdom,  we  should  be 
able  more  frequently  at  the  day's  end  to  make 
report  to  our  Master  of  palpable  proofs  of  our 
fidelity  in  our  calling. 

O  Lord,  help  me  to  be  as  careful  in  my 
service  of  thee  as  I  am  in  my  efforts  to  fulfil 
my  obligations  to  my  earthly  employer! 


EXTRACT  V. 

.4    VICTORY. 

August  16. — I  feel  to-night  like  making  a 
special  record  of  my  gratitude  to  God  for  the 
aid  he  has  given  me  in  the  performance  of  a 
duty  which,  at  first,  was  contemplated  by  me 
with  serious  misgivings.  I  refer  to  the  matter 
of  prayer  in  public.  I  cannot  but  regard  the 
degree  to  which  I  have  overcome  my  reluctance 
to  engage  in  this  exercise,  and  the  command  of 
thoughts  and  words  which  I  have  acquired  in 
leading  in  it,  as  a  gracious  answer  to  my  sup- 
plications for  divine  aid  in  the  discharge  of  my 
office  in  this  particular.  It  seems  to  me,  as  I 
reflect  upon  it,  that  this  gift,  if  I  may  humbly 
call  it  such,  means  more  than  a  single  endow- 
ment. It  indicates  a  broadening  and  an  eleva- 
tion of  the  whole  sphere  of  my  spiritual  being. 
If  it  be  fact  as  well  as  poetry,  that  "  prayer  is 
the  Christian's  vital  breath,"  it  is  not  an  un- 
reasonable inference  that  an  aptitude  for  prayer 
is  significant  of  an  enlargement  of  the  entire 
religious  life.  As  I  analj-ze  my  experience, 
it  appears  to  me  that  prayer  is  intimately 
associated  with  every  stage  of  its  progress. 
St.  James  puts  (chapter  iv.  8)  the  two  proposi- 
25 


26         Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

tions,  "Draw  nigli  to  God,  and  he  will  draw 
nigli  to  yon,"  in  as  close  a  conjunction  as  that 
of  the  two  hemispheres  of  a  globe. 

Alter  a  long  period  of  aberration  from  God, 
through  indifference,  worldlinoss  of  mind,  and 
devotion  to  carnal  gratification,  I  was  led  to 
notice  the  fact  that  if  God  were  a  being  co- 
existent with  me  in  the  world,  my  course  of 
life  had  been  a  perpetual  abandonment  of  him. 
The  thought  startled  me.  It  led  to  a  study  of 
the  claims  of  God  to  my  faith,  and  to  a  con- 
viction that  he,  and  the  religion  which  acknow- 
ledged him,  were  tremendous  realities.  In  a 
dim  sort  of  way,  as  of  one  seeing  him  afar  off, 
I  had  drawn  nigh  to  God.  It  was  a  trembling 
first  step.  I  must  get  nearer;  but  in  my  con- 
scious guilt  I  did  not  dare  to  approach  him. 
I  felt  my  need  of  a  healer  of  the  breach — a 
medium  of  access ;  and  I  found  this  revealed 
to  me  in  the  mission  and  work  of  our  Lord 
Jesus  Christ.  I  then  discovered  a  ground 
upon  which  I  could  pray ;  and  I  did  pray, 
and  the  prayer,  based  upon  Christ's  mediation, 
brought  me  light,  and  peace,  and  assurance 
that  God  had  pardoned  and  accepted  me ;  and 
thus  I  "drew  nigh"  to  God,  and  he  "drew 
nigh  "  to  me,  in  a  reconciliation  like  that  which 
united   the    prodigal   and    his   father.      And   I 


A  YicTORY.  27 

have  found  ever  since,  that  my  "fellowship 
with  the  Father  and  the  Sou"  has  beeu  con- 
current with  the  genuineness  of  my  prayers. 

I  began  my  religious  life  thus,  I  may  say, 
with  the  impression  that  prayer  was  something 
more  than  the  begging  of  favors ;  that  it  was  a 
mode  of  communiug  with  God — a  process  in 
which  there  was  a  mutual  drawing  nigh  be- 
tween him  and  my  soul.  This  impression,  in 
proportion  as  it  was  kept  in  operation,  made 
prayer  a  very  serious  and  solemn  exercise.  It 
overshadowed  my  spirit  very  sensibly  with  the 
one  great  idea  of  the  presence  of  God.  It  had 
another  effect :  it  produced  what  I  might  call 
an  abiding  prayerful  frame,  out  of  which  grew 
a  habit  of  mingling  communing  with  God  with 
the  continuous  workings  of  my  mind  in  its  secret 
recesses.  It  was  a  living,  if  I  may  so  express 
it,  in  constant  touch  of  God,  so  that  prayer 
became  an  element  in  all  breathing  and  acting, 
although  no  outward  sign  revealed  it.  This 
informal  way  of  communing  with  God  did  not 
abate,  but  I  think  rather  increased  the  relish 
with  which  I  engaged  in  the  more  deliberate 
devotions  of  tlie  closet;  and,  I  may  add,  gave 
me  an  aptness  in  throwing  my  own  mind  into  the 
currents  of  public  prayer,  as  offered  by  others. 

These   reflections    upon    my   early   religious 


28        Extracts  from  an  Elder'h  Diary. 

life,  saffused  as  they  are  with  the  recollection 
of  the  warmth  of  a  "first  love,"  recall  to  me 
sadly  that  I  was  derelict  in  one  important  par- 
ticular, that  of  family  worship.  It  was  some 
years  after  our  marriage  that  my  wife  and  I 
connected  ourselves  with  the  church ;  and  dur- 
ing that  period  it  had  not  occl^rred  to  us  that 
we  ought  to  sanctify  our  home-life  by  such  a 
practice.  At  our  reception  into  the  church  the 
duty  was  enjoined  upon  us  by  our  pastor,  and 
for  a  time  was  observed  by  us.  It  was  hard, 
however,  under  the  pressure  of  business  en- 
gagements and  the  cares  of  the  household,  to 
keep  up  the  practice  with  regularity,  and  ulti- 
mately^ it  was  suspended.  It  has  been  resumed 
now,  never  to  be  intermitted  again. 

The  high  conception  I  have  entertained  of 
the  augustness  of  prayer  as  communion  with 
God  has,  I  think,  affected  me  with  a  dread  of 
allowing  a  regard  for  the  mere  fitness  of  style 
and  structure  to  impair  the  devotional  element 
in  the  offering  of  public  prayer.  Hence,  until 
recently,  I  have  persuaded  myself  that  my  ob- 
jections were  good,  and  have  declined  to  par- 
ticipate in  the  prayers  at  our  Aveekly  meetings. 
In  the  nighness  of  my  human  hearers  I  fore- 
saw, as  I  thought,  a  barrier  to  that  nighness 
between  God  and  rayself  that  I  felt  was  neces- 
sary in  prayer. 


A  Victory.  29 

After  my  induction  into  my  office  as  elder,  I 
recognized  that  scruple,  in  this  particular,  was 
standing  in  the  way  of  an  obvious  duty.  I 
looked  into  my  heart  carefully,  faced  the  ques- 
tion conscientiously,  and  soon  was  cheered  by 
the  conviction  that  private  inclination  had  gone 
over,  largely,  to  the  side  of  duty.  I  could  say, 
"Not  as  I  will,  but  as  thou  wiliest."  The  only 
point  which  embarrassed  me  now  was  the  prac- 
tical one.  Am  I  able  to  do  that  which  I  am 
willing  to  do? 

The  answer  to  this  doubt  came  in  the 
thought — the  grace  which  has  wrought  in  me 
"  to  will  "  can  just  as  easily  work  in  me  "to  do." 
My  next  step  was  to  bring  my  deficiency  into 
contact  with  the  sufficiency  which  I  knew  to 
be  in  God.  I  prayed  alone  that  he  wovild  give 
me  the  ability  to  pray  before  my  fellowmen.  I 
told  him  my  infirmity,  and  besought  the  aid 
which  should  lift  me  above  the  gravitation  of  a 
morbid  self-consciousness  and  a  distracting  en- 
vironment. I  drew  very  nigh  to  him  and  asked 
him  not  to  let  me  lose  the  sense  of  my  nighness 
to  him  when  I  should  attempt  to  open  my  lips 
in  the  presence  of  a  congregation.  This  step 
brought  additional  strength. 

My  next  one  was  to  reflect  that  the  opera- 
tions of  grace  imply  and  include  a  cpi-respond- 


30        Extracts  from  ax  Elder's  Diary. 

ing  effort  on  the  part  of  the  subject  of  them  to 
sain  the  blessing  which  lie  desires  to  have 
given  him.  While  "the  preparation  of  the 
heart  in  man  is  from  the  Lord,"  the  bestowing 
of  it  pre-supposes  that  the  man  who  seeks  it 
has  sought,  to  the  best  of  his  ability,  to  prepare 
his  heart  for  it.  I  seconded  my  appeals  to 
God,  therefore,  by  striving  to  fix  in  my  mind  a 
definite  idea  of  what  the  purpose  in  a  public 
prayer  should  be,  and  what  should  properly  be 
the  form  of  it.  I  said,  it  ought  to  voice,  as  far 
as  possible,  the  mind  of  the  company  in  whose 
stead  and  behalf  it  is  uttered.  It  need  not,  and 
generally  ought  not  to,  be  long.  It  ought  not 
to  be  elaborate,  or  ambitious,  or  eccentric.  It 
ought  not  to  aim  at  comprehending  everything. 
It  ought  to  be  regulated  and  modified  by  the 
controlling  thought,  "I  am  speaking  to  God." 
I  did  not  attempt  to  compose  prayers,  but  I 
did  endeavor  to  familiarize  my  mind  -with  the 
material  which  ordinarily  pertained  to  prayer, 
and,  to  some  extent,  with  the  terms  and  phrases 
which  were  suited  to  it.  Eor  this  purpose  I 
studied  carefully  such  published  forms  of  prayer 
as  commended  themselves  to  my  judgment  ; 
and  especially  sought  to  gain  some  command 
of  the  inimitable  vocabulary  of  devotion  con- 
tained in  the  Holy  Scriptures. 


ISfe 


A  Victory.  31 

Having  previously  given  mj  consent,  I  was 
spared  the  shock  which  might  have  been  the 
effect  of  an  unexpected  summons,  when  I  was 
first  called  upon  to  lead  in  prayer  at  our  weekly 
service ;  and  was  gratified  to  find  that  with  con  - 
siderable  composure  I  was  able  to  keep  my 
mind  intent  upon  the  few  topics  which  suc- 
ceeded one  another  in  my  brief  effusion.  I  had 
done  my  duty  ;  and  I  felt  happier,  especially 
when,  at  the  close  of  the  meeting,  a  brother 
took  me  by  the  hand  and  said,  quietly,  "  Thank 
you  for  that  prayer!" 

Since  then  I  have  come  to  realize  that  facility 
in  this  exercise  is  itself  an  answer  to  prayer — a 
thought  which  is  adapted  to  give  confidence  to 
the  possessor  of  it,  and  at  the  same  time  make 
him  humble  in  the  use  of  it.  I  am  satisfied, 
too,  that  this  is  a  gift  to  be  coveted  as  a  means 
of  communicating  good  to  others.  A  fit  and 
seasonable  prayer  often  becomes  the  vehicle  by 
which  some  one's  benumbed  and  crippled  soul 
is  lifted  out  of  its  confusion,  and  enabled  to  feel 
that  its  latent  yearnings  have  been  made  clear, 
and  its  dumb  desires  have  become  articulate, 
through  the  sympathetic  words  of  another. 

God  help  me  to  appreciate  the  talent,  in  the 
limited  measure  in  which  I  have  received  it, 
more  and  more,  and  to  be  ready  to  use  it  for 
his  glory  as  opportunity  is  offered  to  me ! 


EXTEACT   VI. 

JSTEW  CROSSES. 

Sunday,  October  1. — The  past  summer  has 
seen  me  pressing  on  in  official  experience  and 
acquaintance    with    the    trials    of    presbyterial 

service.     During  the  absence  of  Dr.  N , 

our  pastor,  on  his  vacation,  I  have  been  re- 
quired, on  several  occasions,  to  conduct  the 
weekly  prayer-meeting.  My  first  effort  in  this 
line  was  attended  by  a  perturbation  of  spirit 
which,  I  am  sure,  if  I  had  begun  to  cherish  any 
feeling  of  self-sufficiency,  w^ould  have  taken  it  all 
out  of  me.  Nothing  but  the  voice  of  conscience 
reminding  me  that,  as  I  had  put  my  hand  to 
the  plough,  I  could  not  consistently  look  back, 
nerved  me  to  undertake  the  formidable  task. 

Remembering  a  rule  which  I  had  adopted  in 
my  secular  operations,  that  in  order  to  the  do- 
ing of  anything  I  must  first  get  a  clear  concep- 
tion of  tiie  thing  I  had  to  do,  I  set  before  me, 
as  distinctly  as  I  could,  the  object  for  which 
our  meeting  was  to  be  held.  I  then  endeavored 
to  arrange  the  series  of  exercises  so  that  each 
should  have  a  bearing  upon  this  object.  The 
address,  or  lecture,  was  the  part  of  the  service 
32 


New  Crosses.  33 

"which  most  appalled  me,  for  I  was  neither  "a 
scribe  learned  in  the  law,"  nor  a  ready  speaker. 
However,  by  keeping;  in  mind  that  a  simple 
man  must  attempt  only  simple  things,  and  by 
looking  to  the  Giver  of  wisdom  for  help,  I 
braced  myself  to  the  work.  My  wife,  as  we 
reached  the  lecture-room,  added  her  counsel: 
*'Mj  dear,  now  do  be  short." 

After  announcing  one  stirring  hymn,  I  pro- 
posed another,  and  the  singing  put  the  audi- 
ence into  a  good  frame  of  mind.  A  brother 
who  was  accustomed  to  lead  followed  with  a 
fervent  prayer.  Another  song  and  prayer  kept 
up  the  flame  of  interest,  and  by  the  time  the 
Scripture  selections  were  to  be  read  my  hear- 
ers were  far  more  in  the  humor  of  devotion 
than  of  criticism.  I  read  from  Luke,  chapter 
xix.,  the  account  of  our  Lord's  visit  to  Zaccheus 
at  his  house,  and  added  several  other  passages 
from  the  Old  and  New  Testaments,  in  which 
God  appears  as  making  special  revelations  of 
his  favor  towards  pious  households.  Without 
any  formal  introduction,  and  withoiit  an  allu- 
sion to  myself  as  a  novice  in  the  art  of  exposi- 
tion, I  stated  my  subject,  "The  Presence  of 
Christ  in  the  Home,"  and  in  my  brief  unfold- 
ing of  it  I  made  three  points :  I^lrst,  The  ulti- 
mate purpose  of  the  family  institution,  the  fur- 
3 


34        Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

nishing  of  subjects  for  the  kingdom  of  God; 
Seeo?i(I,  The  facilities  afforded  by  it  for  this 
end,  in  the  varied  jnotives,  means,  and  oppor- 
tunities for  moulding  character  included  in  it; 
and  Third,  The  promises  which  assured  us  that 
Christ  was  always  ready  to  bring  the  efficiency 
of  his  gracious  presence  to  bless  our  efforts 
where  the  doors  of  our  homes  were  not  closed 
against  him.  I  had  but  little  to  say  in  the  am- 
plification of  these  points,  beyond  sustaining 
them  by  testimony  drawn  from  Scripture,  and 
closed  my  remarks  by  the  simple  question, 
"  Brethren,  is  the  kind  of  life  which  onr  children, 
our  friends,  our  servants,  are  witnessing  in  our 
homes  such  as  would  give  them  the  impression 
that  Jesus  is  abiding  there  from  day  to  day  ?  " 
With  a  prayer  and  a  hymn  breathing  the  de- 
sire that  there  might  be  more  homes  amongst 
us  in  which  the  Saviour  was  always,  as  in  the 
house  in  Bethany,  finding  an  open  door  and  a 
loving  welcome,  the  service  closed,  and  I  went 
home  with  little  self-praise,  but  much  praise  to 
God,  in  my  heart.  My  subsequent  efforts, 
though  never  free  from  some  embarrassment, 
were,  of  course,  less  embarrassing. 

A  sorer  trial,  however,  awaited  me  when,  on 
last  Saturday,  a  note  was  received  from  the 
senior  elder,  saying  that  as  the  supply  expected 


New  Crosses.  35 

to  fill  our  pulpit  on  the  Sabbath  had  failed  us, 
and  he  was  confined  at  home  by  sickness,  he 
particularly  requested  that  I  should  conduct 
the  worship  at  the  church  on  the  following 
day.  I  was  staggered  at  the  thought  of  oc- 
cupying a  position  of  such  prominence,  and 
was  disposed  at  once  to  pronounce  the  thing 
impossible.  Something  kept  me  from  putting 
this  response  in  writing.  Something  whis- 
pered to  my  conscience  that  I  had  promised  to 
go  work  in  any  part  of  the  Lord's  vineyard  in 
which  I  might  be  needed.  Something  reminded 
nie  that  my  infirmities  had  been  graciously 
helped  thus  far  in  every  case  where  I  had 
undertaken  a  difficult  duty.  Little  by  little,  at 
these  suggestions,  my  reluctance  gave  way,  and 
my  purpose  was  formed.  The  time  was  short, 
the  urgency  of  the  case  gave  intensity  to  my 
mental  operations,  and  in  a  brief  space  the 
whole  order  of  services  was  mapped  out. 
Spurgeon,  abbreviated,  furnished  me  with  a 
sermon,  and  the  aid  of  a  brother  elder  was  se- 
cured for  the  devotional  exercises.  As  I  look 
back  to-night  over  the  accomplished  task,  I 
feel  like  drawing  a  long  bre9,th,  as  one  who 
has  crossed  a  perilous  chasm  on  a  frail  bridge ; 
and  a  passage  which  I  read  this  morning  from 
the  thirty-fourth  Psalm,  verses  4  and  5,  occurs 


36        Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

to  me  as  a  fit  expression  of  my  present  emotions. 
The  good  monitor  at  my  side,  in  her  discreet 
way,  has  just  remarked,  "I  trembled  all  over 
when  I  saw  you  go  into  that  pulpit.  But  I 
believe  I  would  be  willing  to  see  you  go  there 


again 


EXT K ACT    VI I. 


PEA  CEMA  KING. 


December  1. — The  crookedness  wbicli  in- 
heres in  human  nature,  even  after  it  has  been 
straightened  by  divine  grace,  I  suppose,  will 
reveal  itself  in  some  form  and  in  certain  cases 
in  every  body  of  Christians.  The  Saviour's 
prayers,  "Forgive  us  our  trespasses,"  and 
"Lead  us  not  into  temptation,"  seem  to  imply 
that  we  are  never  to  assume  that  we  are  exempt 
from  its  operation. '  It  is  a  vicious  element  left 
clinging  to  our  moral  system,  perhaps,  to  guard 
us  against  the  dangerous  fancy  that  we  are 
already  perfect ;  or  it  may  be  intended  to  serve 
as  the  resisting  power,  by  conflict  with  which 
our  spiritual  strength  needs  to  be  maintained 
and  developed. 

I  have  to  make  confession  that  I  myself,  who 
ought  to  be  "an  ensample  to  the  flock,"  was 
recently  betrayed  into  an  exhibition  of  this  per- 
verse principle,  by  which  I  have  been  deeply 
humbled,  although,  I  hope,  ultimately  benefited. 
The  apparently  negligent  misplacing  of  some 
important  mail-matter  by  a  clerk  at  the  post- 
office  had  given  me  serious  trouble,  and  led 
37 


38        Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

me,  perhaps  too  sharply,  to  charge  him  with 
his  fault.  He  resented  my  reproof  in  a  tone  so 
offensive  that  I  repeated  my  charge  in  plainer 
and  more  emphatic  terms.  This  exasperated 
him  still  more,  and  drew  from  him  an  abusive 
denunciation  of  the  church  officers  for  some 
ill-treatment  of  his  wife,  who  was  a  member  of 
tilt  church,  in  the  matter  of  her  "sitting." 
This  allegation  I  knew  to  be  utterly  ground- 
less, and  pronounced  it  so,  and  turned  from 
him,  angry  myself,  and  leaving  him  in  a  tempest 
of  passion.  I  chafed  undei  the  irritation  pro- 
duced by  this  altercation,  until  gradually,  as 
the  fever  subsided,  I  awoke  to  a  calm  view  of 
the  unseemly  temper  I  had  exhibited.  I  was 
shocked  at  the  attitude  in  which  I  had  allowed 
myself  to  be  placed.  I  let  the  day  pass,  that 
both  parties  might  regain  sobriety;  and  the 
next  morning  addressed  a  note  to  my  antago- 
nist, in  which,  without  an  allusion  to  his  part 
in  the  affair,  I  deplored  my  own  as  hasty  and 
unbecoming  my  character  as  a  Christian ;  re- 
tracted all  objectionable  language  that  I  had 
used,  and  expressed  the  hope  that  our  former 
friendly  relations  might  not  be  interrupted  by 
my  intemperate  conduct.  In  a  few  hours  a 
reply  came,  frank  in  its  tone  and  -jironouncing 
the  unpleasantness  as  at  an  end.     Our  inter- 


Peacemaking.  39 

course  has  been  cordial  ever  since,  but  I  have 
learned  a  lesson  as  to  the  duty  of  circumspect- 
ness. 

What  I  was  thinking  about,  however,  when 
this  incident  came  into  mymind,  was  an  effort 
at  peacemaking  between  two  disaffected  mem- 
bers of  our  church,  in  which  I  was  engaged 
earLj  this  week.  It  was  a  case  of  discord  be- 
tween husband  and  wife.  They  were  plain 
people,  but  respectable  for  their  decent  and 
regular  lives.  The  woman  had  ceased  for 
some  time  to  attend  worship,  and  upon  the 
fact  being  mentioned  on  some  occasion  by  our 
pastor  to  the  husband,  he  had  revealed  to  him 
that  a  "root  of  bitterness"  had  sprung  up  in 
their  home  in  the  shape  of  dissension,  and  that 
his  wife,  in  consequence,  had  carried  her  "  con- 
trariness," as  he  called  it,  to  the  point  of 
refusing  fellowship  with  him  in  going  to  the 
house  of  God.  "  I  don't  know  what  to  do  with 
her,"  was  the  poor  man's  lament.  "She  will 
not  let  me  talk  to  her.  I  wish  you  would  come 
and  set  us  to  rights."     A  time  was  fixed  upon 

for  a  visit,  and  Dr.  N ,  not  a  little  to  my 

alarm,  summoned  me  to  go  with  him,  "as  a 
silent  partner,"  I  remarked,  in  consenting. 

Our  greeting  of  the  pair  when  they  made 
their  appearance  was  specially  cordial,  and  a 


40        Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

little  time  was  given  to  the  usual  common- 
places of  courtesy.     At  length  Dr.  N ,  in 

the  kindest  of  tones,  remarked:  "You  have  not 

been  well,  Mrs.  A .     I  have  missed  you 

from  several  of  our  last  meetings." 

"Well — yes — not  sick  exactly,"  she  replied, 
in  a  hesitating  way,  "  but ,"  then  stopped. 

"It  has  not  been  trouble  of  mind,  T  hope?" 
inquired  the  doctor. 

"Yes,  sir,"  she  replied,  in  a  passionate  ex- 
plosion, "yes,  sir,  and  worse  than  that;  it  has 
been  trouble  of  heart." 

"My  dear  madam,  you  distress  me  deeply," 
said  the  doctor.     "What  is  the  matter?" 

"Ask  hha!  ask  him!"  was  her  reply,  point- 
ing to  her  husband. 

The  doctor's  eye  turned  to  the  latter,  who, 
with  a  good  deal  of  emotion  in  his  voice,  stam- 
mered out:  "Dr.  N ,  you  are  our  pastor, 

and  have  always  been  our  friend.  I  will  tell 
you  the  truth,  and  I  beg  you  to  help  us  if  you 
can.  I  don't  want  to  speak  against  Susan.  She 
has  been  a  good  wife  to  me,  and  maybe  I  have 
done  wrong  by  her.  We  disagreed  about  the 
bringing- up  of  our  daughter.  She  is  just  fif- 
teen years  old,  you  know,  and  is  her  mother's 
pride.  She  has  let  her  stop  school,  and  go  to 
parties,  and  drive  out  with  young  men — and — 


Peacemaking.  41 

iand "  and  here  he,  too,  broke  down.     In  a 

moment  he  added  :  "It  is  jealoiisy  for  the  girl. 
She  says  I  love  the  boy  best ;  but  God  knows 
I  love  them  both,  and  their  mother,  too,  as  I 
love  my  own  soul!" 

The  scene  was  becoming  affecting.  I  ven- 
tured to  interpose,  in  a  cheerful  way,  "Why, 
this  IS  only  the  old  story  of  what  occurs,  I  sus- 
pect, in  nearly  all  families.  Wife  and  I  have 
more  discussions  over  the  management  of  our 
children  than  over  anything  else;  but  we  know 
that  we  botli  love  them  and  desire  their  good, 
and,  when  we  differ,  we  talk  kindly  over  our 
respective  methods,  and  J)ray  over  them,  too, 
and  soon  come  to  an  agreement.     Perhaps  you 

and    Mrs.   A have  not    prayed    enough 

over  this  matter." 

"I  could  not  pray,"  sobbed  the  woman,  "I 
was  so  hurt!" 

"I  propose  that  Dr.  N pray  now,"  I 

said,  and,  b}^  a  common  impulse,  we  all  fell  on 
our  knees,  and  the  doctor  did  pray,  and  prayed 
with  a  heart  in  fullest  sympathy  with  the  dis- 
tressed couple,  and,  it  seemed  to  me,  in  very 
unison  with  the  pity  felt  for  them  by  a  sympa- 
thizing Saviour. 

When  we  rose,  the  doctor,  in  a  clear,  quiet 
way,  said,  "I  see  it  all  now.     You  both  love 


4:2        Extracts  fijom  an  Elder's  Diary. 

this  dear  child,  and  your  love  has  made  you,  in 
the  one  case,  too  indulgent,  and  in  the  other, 
perhaps,  too  strict.  You  both  desire  her  wel- 
fare. Let  me  tell  you  that  you  cannot  do  her 
a  worse  wrong  than  to  let  discord  enter  your 
home.  The  Spirit  of  God  flies  from  the  abodes 
of  strife.  It  seems  to  me,  madam,  that  your 
husband  is  right  in  wishing  Annie  to  remain  a 
school-girl  for  at  least  another  year,  and  to  fa- 
miliarize herself  with  household  avocations; 
and  you,  perhaps,  have  been  too  impatient 
under  opposition  to  your  views.  Think  it  all 
over,  and  I  am  sure  you  will  see  that  I  am 
right." 

Tears  were  running  down  the  man's  cheeks, 
and  the  woman,  with  a  bowed  head,  murmured, 
as  if  to  herself,  "I  have  been  very  wicked — 
very  wicked ! " 

"Where  is  Annie?  Cannot  I  see  her?"  asked 
the  doctor ;  and  it  was  a  relief  when  the  mother 
left  us  to  call  her. 

The  doctor  took  the  girl  gently  by  the  hand, 
upon  her  entering,  and  said:  "My  child,  I  bap- 
tized you  when  your  parents  gave  you  to  the 
Lord.  Promise  me  that  you  will  obey  them, 
and  do  all  that  you  can  for  their  comfort." 

She  replied,  "I  will,"  and  then  the  doctor 
added:  "Now,  I  want  to  see  you  all   at  our 


Peacemaking.  43 

prayer-meeting  to-morrow  night ;  and,  besides, 
I  have  a  special  invitation  to  you  all  from  Mrs. 
N that  you  will  be  present  at  a  little  re- 
ception we  are  to  have  at  the  manse  on  nc^xt 
Tuesday  evening,  the  twentieth  anniversary  of 
our  marriage." 

There  was  a  perceptible  brightness  in  the 
aspect  of  the  group  as  we  left  them ;  and  my 
companion  ejaculated,  as  we  reached  the  street, 
"God  make  our  words  as  the  precious  oint- 
ment of  Aaron!" 


EXTRACT  VIII. 

THE  PRESBYTERY. 

April  10,  1866. — I  returned  last  night  from 
a  five  days'  absence,  in  attendance  upon  the 
spring  meeting  of  presbytery,  as  the  repre- 
sentative of  our  church.  It  cost  me  consid- 
erable effort,  and  some  inconvenience,  to  leave 
home  and  business,  but  the  desire  of  the  ses- 
sion that  I  should  go  was  so  urgent,  and  was 
so  enforced  by  the  consideration  that  my  re- 
fusal would  bring  upon  the  church  the  reproach 
of  having  to  report  "no  elder  present,"  that  I 
stifled  all  objections  and  made  ni}'  arrange- 
ments to  go.     I  am  thankful  now  that  I  did  go. 

The  anticipation  of  the  mission  at  once 
brought  to  my  consciousness  the  fact  that  I 
was  woefully  deficient  in  my  knowledge  of 
church  order  and  parliamentary  law.  I  set  to 
work  diligently  to  inform  myself  on  these  sub- 
jects. I  conferred,  also,  with  our  pastor  in 
regard  to  the  business,  ordinary  and  special, 
which  might  be  expected  to  claim  the  attention 
of  presbytery.  So,  trained  and  drilled,  I  made 
my  appearance  in  time  for  the  opening  service, 
44 


The  Presbytery.  45 

at  W ,  a  neat  little  railroad  town,  where 

some  capitalists  had  established  a  cotton  fac- 
tory, which  gave  employment  to  a  large  portion 
of  the  inhabitants. 

My  feeling  of  strangeness  soon  wore  off  before 
the  cordial  reception  accorded  me  from  every 
quarter.  Not  iinfrequently  I  was  addressed  by 
the  term  "  brother."  The  initial  services  were 
impressive,  and  the  sermon  by  the  venerable 

Mr.  B ,  the  last  moderator,  from  John 

XV.  8,  tracing  the  duty  of  fruitfulness  on  the 
part  of  believers  to  the  love  bestowed  upon 
them  in  the  work  of  him  who  could  call  God 
his  "  Father,"  and  the  grace  conferred  upon 
them  in  permitting  and  enabling  them  to 
"glorify"  this  Father,  was  a  forcible  appeal 
for  consecration  to  all  the  followers  of  the 
Lord  Jesus  Christ. 

In  constituting  the  presbytery,  to  my  dis- 
may I  heard  my  name  nominated  for  the  office 
of  Temporary  Clerk.  The  nomination,  I  ob- 
served, came  from  one  of  the  junior  members 

of  the  body.     My  good  patron.  Dr.  N , 

catching  my  look  of  embarrassment,  rose  and 
stated  that  he  feared  this  custom  of  thrusting 
an  office,  of  which  they  knew  nothing,  upcm 
new  recruits  had  in  it  more  of  the  mischief- 
loving  humor  of    the  college    boys'  custom   ot 


46        ExTRAcrj's  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

"  hazing "  than  of  the  regard  for  expediency 
and  decorum  which  should  characterize  an 
ecclesiastical  court,  and  moved  that  I  should 
be  excused,  and  somebody  else,  whom  he 
named,  be  put  in  my  place.  The  proposition 
was  carried.  In  the  appointment  of  commit- 
tees, I  found  I  was  assigned  to  several  places; 
and  I  was  glad,  in  this  capacity,  to  render  some 
service  in  the  prosecution  of  the  business  of  the 
body.  The  impressions  I  have  brought  away 
from  this  first  attendance  upon  a  church 
congress  of  this  kind  have  been  altogether 
pleasant. 

First,  It  was  pleasant  to  find  myself,  for 
a  series  of  days,  in  a  purely  religious  atmos- 
phere, from  which  the  gross  disturbances  of 
worldly  pursuits  and  competitions  were  ban- 
ished, and  where  good-will  and  Christian  love 
beamed  in  every  face  and  spake  in  every  utter- 
ance. 

Second,  The  half-hour  morning  prayer-meet- 
ings were  refreshing  seasons,  in  which  a 
heavenly  dew,  which  proved  to  be  manna,  fell 
upon  the  opening  of  each  day ;  and  the  sermons 
at  night  seemed  to  grow  better  as  they  suc- 
ceeded one  another,  perhaps  from  the  quick- 
ened appetite  of  those  who  came  to  hear  them. 
The  sacramental  service  on  the  Sabbath  morn- 


The  Presbytery.  47 

ing,  with  a  Sunday-school  meeting  in  the  after- 
noon, and  an  eloquent  sermon  at  night,  made 
this  last  day  of  the  feast  a  golden  one. 

Third,  I  was  struck  with  the  good  humor — I 
might  call  it,  in  some  instances,  hilarity — which 
characterized  the  intercourse  of  the  clerical  part 
of  our  bod3\  The  cordiality  of  their  greetings, 
and  the  ringing  laughter  which  often  attended 
their  colloquies,  convinced  me  that  the  phrase 
"sour-faced  Presbyterians"  was  a  slander, grow- 
ing, most  probably,  out  of  the  mur- minded ness 
of  the  critics  who  used  it. 

Fourth,  I  gained  an  immense  amount  of  in- 
formation in  regard  to  the  methods  and  results 
of  the  working  of  our  church,  and  an  enlarged 
conviction,  I  trust,  of  the  duty  of  Christians 
devoting  more  thought,  prayer,  and  money  to 
the  support  of  evangelical  enterprises.  The 
work  done  is  a  success,  like  one  of  those  clear- 
ings which  I  often  met  with  on  my  journey  to 

W ,  showing  cultivated  gaps  in  the  forest, 

but  revealing,  each  one,  the  immense  stretches 
of  timber  land  yet  to  be  subdued. 

Fifth,  One  of  the  pleasantest  recollections 
that  I  retain  is  that  of  my  intercourse  with 
the  hospitable  family  among  whom  I  found 
my  home.  The  household  consisted  of  Mrs. 
H ,  a  lady  of  commanding  person,  from 


48        Extracts  fuom  an  Elder's  Diary. 

which  all  uncomfortable  stateliness  was  re- 
moved, and  with  a  sweet  aspect,  in  which 
dignity  was  softened  by  kindness ;  her  three 
daughters,  two  of  whom  were  grown,  while  the 
third  was  a  merry  school-girl,  and  two  sons, 
both  holding  positions  in  the  cotton  mills.  All 
were  professed  Christians  except  the  younger 
son  and  "Babe,"  as  they  still  called  the 
youngest  girl.  They  were  staunch  Presby- 
terians, and  knew  why  they  were  so ;  and  were 
zealous  and  intelligent  supporters  of  the  church, 
who,  through  their  familiarity  with  the  religious 
papers  and  periodicals,  kept  themselves  abreast 
with  its  movements.  I  regard  it  as  a  special 
blessing  to  have  been  associated  with  such  a 
family,  and  to  have  witnessed,  as  I  am  sure  I 
have  done,  the  power  of  religion  to  add  a 
charm  distinctively  its  own  to  natural  beauty 
and  to  cultivated  grace. 

Sixth,  One  thing  more  I  must  not  overlook. 

My  fellow-lodger  at   Mrs.    H 's  was  the 

Kev.  Mr.  McW ,  a  young  minister,  who 

is  laboring  in  a  frontier  district  of  our  presby- 
tery. Frequent  conversations  with  him  have 
stirred  my  heart  with  new  emotions  of  admira- 
tion for,  and  sympathy  with,  the  noble  and 
self-denying  work  of  these  home  missionaries. 
That  young  evangelist  has  been  to  me  almost  a 


The  Presbyteby.  49 

new  revelation  of  the  spirit  of  Christianity. 
He  has  convinced  me  that  apostolic  zeal  and 
heroism  are  not  dead.  If  ever  I  fail  in  time  to 
come  to  speak  a  word  in  defence  of  the  class  to 
which  he  belongs,  or  to  give  of  my  substance 
for  their  support,  "let  my  tongue  cleave  to  the 
roof  of  my  mouth,  and  my  right  hand  forget 
her  cunning." 


EXTRACT    IX. 

AJ^  INQUTRER. 

Sunday,  Septemljer  2. — To-day  I  have  had  to 
undertake  a  duty  of  a  kind  so  serious  and  deli- 
cate that  I  have  always  shrunk  from  it.  It  is  that 
of  guiding  a  soul  to  Christ.  To  speak,  in  general 
terms,  of  the  claims  of  Christ  to  the  confidence 
and  love  of  men ;  to  explain,  generally,  the 
way  of  salvation  through  faith  in  his  name,  or 
to  urge  men,  generally,  to  embrace  this  salva- 
tion, has  not  seemed  difficult,  nor  have  I  hesi- 
tated to  attempt  it,  in  mj"  poor  way,  as  the  op- 
portunity has  been  given  me.  But  to  sit  alone 
with  an  anxious  inquirer,  to  see  him  struggling 
with  a  distress  which,  perhaps,  he  is  unable  to 
explain,  and  groping  after  a  deliverance  which 
he  cannot  discover ;  to  unravel  the  complexity 
of  his  spiritual  condition,  and  apply  the  balm 
which  is  needed  for  his  heart's  sore — this  has 
seemed  to  me  an  exercise  of  tact  and  wisdom 
of  which  I  was  incapable.  I  have  been  dis- 
posed— as,  I  suppose,  most  private  Christians 
are  when  such  cases  are  brought  to  their  no- 
tice— to  say,  "Let  us  go  talk  with  the  minis- 
50 


Ax   IXQUIKEK.  51 

ter."  Ill  the  appeal  which  was  made  to  me  to- 
daj  I  could  not  do  this. 

I  had  hardly  got  seated  in  my  library,  after 
returning  from  the  morning's  service,  when  S. 

W ,  a    young   man   whom   I   knew   xevy 

well,  was  shown  into  the  room,  and  addressed 

me   abruptly :  "  Mr.   B ,    I    want   to   talk 

with  you;   I  want  you  to  pray  for  me!" 

His  look  and  voice  betrayed  some  deep  emo- 
tion, and  his  language,  of  course,  let  me  see 
that  it  was  of  a  religious  nature.  I  took  him 
by    the    hand,    and    said    to    him,    "My    dear 

S — ,  sit  down ;   be   composed,  and  let  us 

talk  a  while.  What  is  it  that  is  so  troubling 
you?" 

"Oh!"  he  said,  "that  sermon  this  morn- 
ing! It  seemed  to  show  me  that  I  have  been 
all  wrong  when  I  thought  that  I  was  all  right. 
"What  am  I  to  do  with  Jesus  which  is  called 
Christ?  What  have  I  been  doing  with  him? 
I  feel  more  than  ever  that  I  need  religion,  and 
yet  there  is  something  here  in  religion  which  I 
have  not  understood.  What  am  I  to  do  with 
Jesus?     And  what  has  Jesus  to  do  with  me?" 

The  text  had  been  Pilate's  inquiry,  in  Mat- 
thew xxvii.  22. 

"This  is  not  a  sudden  feeling  with  you? 
You  have  been  convinced  of  your  need  of  re- 
ligion before?"  I  said,  inquiringly. 


52        Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

"Oh!  yes,"  be  replied.  "You  know  how  re- 
ligiously I  was  brought  up.  The  impressions 
of  my  early  years  have  never  been  lost.  The 
example  of  my  father  and  mother,  too,  always 
kept  me  from  questioning  the  reality  and  value 
of  religion  when  sceptical  suggestions  occurred 
to  me,  or  were  made  to  me  by  others.  When 
a  boy,  I  tried  to  be,  and  was,  I  suppose,  as  the 
term  goes,  a  'good  boy.'  When  I  grew  up,  and 
went  into  business,  I  carried  with  me  a  tender 
conscience,  for  which  I  have  often  been  ridi- 
culed, and  I  kept  constantly  in  mind  the  dis- 
tinction between  right  and  wrong.  I  was  de- 
termined that  my  employers  should  find  no 
fault  with  me,  and  they  never  have  done  so. 
When  I  went  into  society,  of  which  I  have 
been  very  fond,  I  did  not  abandon  my  reli- 
gious habits,  as  I  regarded  them;  but  found 
that  my  desire  to  please  my  companions  and 
my  aversion  to  appearing  singular  led  me  often 
into  compliance  with  practices  which  I  could 
not  justify  to  myself  when  the  excitemept  was 
over.  I  have  a  thousand  times  said  to  myself, 
this  plan  upon  which  I  am  living,  if  there  is 
any  religion  in  it,  is  giving  me  neither  strength 
nor  comfort.  This  conviction  has  troubled  me 
fearfully  of  late,  and  it  was  in  my  mind  when 
I  went  to  church  this  morninc:.     As  Dr.  N 


An  Inquirer.  55 

proceeded  with  his  sermon  and  made  some  of 
his  sharp  applications,  the  thought  occurred  to 
me,  almost  like  a  flash,  may  not  this  be  the 
difl&culty  with  me?  I  have  not  done  what  I 
ought  to  have  done  with  Jesus.  Passages 
from  the  Bible  about  Jesus,  which  I  had  been 
reading  all  my  life  without  any  distinct  impres- 
sion of  their  meaning,  now  came  crowding 
upon  me  with  a  clearness  and  a  force  which 
they  had  never  had  before.  The  way  that  I 
had  been  treading  seemed  to  become  all  dark ; 
the  way  that  I  needed  to  take  seemed  all  dark, 
too ;  and  in  my  bewilderment  I  have  come  to 
you,  for  I  have  confidence  in  yoiir  religion,  to 
ask  you  to  instruct  and  advise  me." 

He  paused,  and  looked  at  me  with  an  exhausted 
expression,  for  he  had  said  much  more  than  I  can 
recall.  His  heart  was  full,  and  he  had  poured 
it  out  with  a  remarkable  degree  of  coherency 
and  fluency.  I  thought  of  the  story  of  the  young 
man  in  Matthew  xix.  16-23,  and  quietly  read 
it  to  him.  "Don't  you  see,"  I  added,  "that 
this  young  man  was  taking  no  account  of  sin, 
as  an  obstacle  in  the  way  of  eternal  life,  in  his 
idea  of  religion?  He  would  earn  eternal  life 
by  the  doing  of  good  things.  11  is  disquietude 
of  mind  was  due,  not  to  any  doubt  as  to  the 
reality  of  his  obedience  as  a  means  of  gaining 


54        Extracts  from  an  Eldeii's  Diary. 

it,  but  to  a  fear  that  the  tneasure  of  that  obedi- 
ence might  he  defective.  'What  lack  I  yet?'  he 
asks,  'what  good  more  ought  I  to  do?'  The 
Saviour  teaches  him  that  obedience,  to  be 
genuine,  must  admit  no  gradations  of  less  or 
more.  It  must  be  a  total  conformity  to  the 
law  of  God — such  as  would  make  a  rich  man 
willing  to  sell  all  that  he  possessed  and  give 
the  proceeds  to  the  poor,  if  such  a  command 
were  laid  upon  him.  A  religion  based  upon 
obedience  must  show  an  obedience  which  is 
entire.  It  must  spring  from  the  heart  of  a 
man  and  pervade  his  whole  inner  and  outer 
life.  It  must  have  in  it  no  weakness  of  will, 
no  inconstancy  of  action  or  affection.  Oh  !  my 
friend,  what  mortal  man  can  abide  snch  a  test  ? 
The  young  man  could  not,  and  you  and  I  cannot. 
Our  obedience  is  rotten  at  the  very  base,  and  our 
deviations  and  omissions,  on  one  side  or  another, 
are  perpetually  revealing  our  weakness  and  dis- 
turbing our  peace.  All  such  deviations  and  omis- 
sions are  departures  from  righteousness,  or  evi- 
dences of  a  sinful  nature  expressing  itself  in  sinful 
acts.  Now,  here  is  where  '  Jesus  which  is  called 
Christ '  has  something,  or  rather  everything,  to 
do  for  us  and  with  us.  Read  your  New  Testa- 
ment and  you  will  see  that  his  whole  work  is 
for  sinners  and  with  sinners.     Hear  St.  Paul 


An  Inquirer,  55 

proclaiming  his  view  of  the  gospel,  '  This  is  a 
faithful  saying  and  worthy  of  all  acceptation, 
that  Christ  Jesus  came  into  the  world  to  save 
sinners.'  Do  you  not  see  a  meaning  in  this 
passage,  and  in  a  hundred  others  like  it,  which, 
perhaps,  has  never  been  disclosed  to  you 
before  ?  Where  your  efforts  at  obedience  to 
the  law  of  God  have  left  you  Jesus  finds  you ; 
that  is,  in  the  position  of  a  sinner,  and  he 
offers  to  put  you  in  the  position  which  you 
have  been  vainly  seeking  by  your  previous 
effort,  that  is,  that  of  a  righteous  man  in  the 
sight  of  God.  To  this  end  he  says,  'believe 
in  me,  trust  in  me,  come  to  me.  Put  my  work 
in  the  place  of  yoar  old  self  and  its  work,  and 
find  the  ground  of  your  salvation  in  me  and 
my  work  as  you  once  did  in  your  supposed 
obedience.' "  i 

Here  my  hearer,  who  had  been  listening 
with  rapt  attention  while  I  had  talked,  broke 
in  with  the  remark,  "  This  faith  perplexes  me  ! 
I  surely  believe  in  Christ.  I  have  always  done 
so.  I  have  tried  to  get  my  ideas  of  religion 
from  him  as  an  infalHble  teacher." 

"You  have  believed  in  him  as  a  teacher,"  I 
replied,  "  but  have  you  believed  in  him  as  a 
Saviour  from  sin  ?  You  have  believed  in  him 
as  Nicodemus  did  when  he  said,  *  we  know  that 


5G        Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

thou  art  a  teacher  come  from  God,'  but  have 
you  believed  in  him  as  Peter  did,  when,  with 
the  waters  giving  way  under  his  feet,  he  cried, 
'Lord,  save  me'?  " 

He  had  almost  a  startled  look  as  I  asked 
these  questions,  and  an  embarrassed  one  at  the 
same  time. 

"Let  me  explain  what  I  mean,"  I  continued. 
"  Ton  have  been  on  a  long  strain  of  mind  this 
morning.  I  can  see  that  you  are  physically 
exhausted.  You  Avant  refreshment.  There,  in 
the  next  room  is  my  table,  spread  with  our 
Sunday  dinner.  I  shall  ask  you,  directly,  to 
go  in  with  me  and  share  our  meal,  You  will 
believe  in  the  actual  existence  of  the  articles  of 
food  you  see,  in  their  wholesome  properties, 
and  in  their  capacity  to  relieve  faintness  and 
hunger;  but  if  you  do  not  believe  in  the  sense 
of  using  these  articles,  appropriating  them  and 
incorporating  them  into  your  own  personality, 
your  faith  will,  certainly,  bring  you  no  relief. 
Now,  Jesus  offers  himself  to  men  as  '  the  bread 
of  God  which  came  down  from  heaven  and 
giveth  life  unto  the  world.'  The  faith  which 
the  presentation  of  bread  requires  is  a  faith 
which  applies  it  as  food,  which  stretches  forth 
the  hand  and  takes  and  eats  it.  In  such  a 
way,  in  believing  in  Jesus,  we  bring  our  needs. 


An  Inquirer.  57 

our  sins,  our  emptiness  and  our  guilt  to  him, 
and  rel}'  upon  his  grace  and  power  to  relieve 

and  remove  them.     S ,"  I  said  to   him, 

solemnl}^  for  I  felt  the  occasion  to  be  an  in- 
tensely solemn  one,  "  are  jou  hungering  after 
peace  with  God,  the  pardon  of  sin,  and  the 
possession  of  a  truly  religious  or  holy  na- 
ture?" 

He  said,  "I  am  sure  I  am!  " 

"Do  you  see  in  Christ  the  bread  which  God 
has  provided  to  meet  this  hunger?" 

"  It  seems  all  clear  to  me  now,"  was  his  re- 
ply. 

"Then  take,  and  eat,  and  live  forever!"  I 
said,  springing  to  my  feet  in  my  emotion ;  and 
he,  wdth  a  similar  motion  and  a  beaming  coun- 
tenance, responded,  "I  will;  I  do!" 

"Now,  let  us  pray,"  I  said;  and  with  such 
sympathy  with  him  as  took  his  soul  into  union 
with  my  own,  I  commended  him  to  God  as  one 
new-born  into  his  family,  and  besought  for  him 
the  nurture  of  the  Holy  Spirit,  that  he  might 
be  kept  in  all  time  to  come,  building  upon 
Jesus  as  the  foundation  of  his  religion,  and 
feeding  upon  him  as  the  bread  of  God. 

He  declined,  of  course,  my  invitation  to 
dine ;  and  we  parted  at  the  door,  almost  in 
silence,  undfer  the  consciousness,  on  both  sides, 


58         Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

that  a  great  eveut  had  transpired  in  the  his- 
tory of  a  human  soul.  My  confidence  in  it, 
that  it  was  a  real  transaction,  was  founded,  not 
so  much  on  the  excitement  produced  by  the 
sermon  to  which  my  young  friend  had  listened, 
as  upon  the  training  he  had  received,  the  reli- 
gions experimenting  through  which  he  had 
passed,  and  the  evident  sincerity  and  eager- 
ness of  desire  for  light  and  relief  which  his 
previous  disappointment  had  inspired. 

I  saw  him  again,  for  a  moment,  at  the  close 
of  service  to-night,  and  as  I  clasped  his  hand, 
and  said,  in  a  low  tone,  "Is  Jesus  still  the  way, 
the  truth  and  the  life?"  the  warm  pressure 
he  gave  me,  and  the  bright  expression  of  his 
countenance  were  the  satisfactory  reply. 


EXTRACT  X. 

THE  SABBATII-SCIIOOL. 

Simday,  Noveviljer  10. — I  am  satisfied  that 
the  Sabbath -school  will  present  itself  to  a 
thoughtful  elder  of  a  church  as  a  legitimate 
and  important  part  of  his  domain,  and  that,  in 
some  direction,  he  will  give  it  a  portion  of  his 
attention.  It  is  a  modern  institution  only  in 
the  sense  of  being  a  means  of  giving  religious 
instruction  to  the  young  and  ignorant  of  a 
community  generally,  or  irrespective  of  their 
relation  to  a  church.  Immemorially,  the  chil- 
dren of  the  church,  as  all  the  children  of  com- 
municants, who  had  received  baptism,  were 
assumed  to  be,  were  placed  under  a  course  of 
training  in  order  that  they  might  be  prepared, 
at  a  suitable  age,  to  ratify  their  church  rela- 
tionship by  coming  intelligeuth'  and  heartily 
to  the  communion.  They  formed  a  class  of 
catechumens.  Uubaptized  applicants  for  mem- 
bership in  the  church  were  placed  in  the  same 
or  a  similar  class.  The  school,  therefore,  may 
be  said  to  have  existed  always ;  although,  as  it 
was  not  necessarily,  nor  perhaps  commonly, 
confined  to  the  Sabbath  as  the  time  for  con- 
59 


.60         Extracts  from  an  Elder's  ])iary. 

ducting  it,  it  was  not  called  a  Sahhath-achool. 
Raikes,  and  the  other  founders  of  the  modern 
Sabbath-school,  undertook  to  bring  the  out- 
lying masses  of  children  who  had  none  to 
christianize  them  under  the  influence  of  re- 
ligious culture  by  bringing  them  together  on 
the  Sabbath,  as  a  day  on  which  they  were 
exempt  from  worldly  labor,  for  the  purpose  of 
receiving  instruction.  The  work  was  a  good 
one,  and  in  the  line  of  the  church's  duty,  and 
church  officers  and  members  largely  engaged 
in  it.  Ultimately,  and  perhaps  gradually,  the 
church-school  has  become  absorbed  in  the 
Sabbath-school,  as  the  function  of  the  latter 
seemed  to  be  akin  to  that  of  the  former.  To 
my  mind,  this  delegation  of  the  oversight  of 
its  catechumens  has  been  an  unfortunate  one. 
But,  inasmuch  as  it  has  taken  place,  it  be- 
hooves those  who  have  the  charge  of  the  Sab- 
bath-school to  make  it  as  efficient  as  possible 
in  supplying  the  culture  which  the  church  owes 
to  its  baptized  children,  and  the  unenlightened 
candidates  for  membership  in  it.  As  an  officer 
of  the  church,  therefore,  I  feel  that  the  Sabbath- 
school  has  a  special  claim  upon  my  services. 

For  several  years  I  have  been  a  teacher  in 
our  Sabbath-school,  and  have  found  the  work 
increasingly  pleasant.     I   have   taught   classes 


The  Sabbath- School.  61 

of  both  boys  and  girls,  and  have  discovered 
equal  points  of  attraction  in  each.  I  have 
thought,  studied,  and  prayed  hard  that  I  might 
acquire  the  art  of  winning  these  young  souls 
to  myself,  in  order  that  I  might  win  them  to 
Christ.  I  have  aimed,  first,  to  impress  them 
with  the  belief  that  I  felt  a  personal  interest  in 
each  one  of  them,  and  then  to  make  them  feel 
at  ease  with  me,  without  losing  their  respect. 
There  is  such  a  thing,  I  am  convinced,  as  an 
organic  tie  which  may  be  established  between 
a  Sunday-school  teacher  and  his  class,  under 
the  prompting  of  which  the  teacher  may,  with 
a  special  fondness,  say,  "my  class,"  and  the 
pupil,  in  the  same  spirit,  may  say,  "my 
teacher.''  This  tie  1  have  sought  to  cultivate, 
and  to  connect  the  sentiment  which  it  implies 
with  the  practical  purpose  of  giving  to  my 
scholars  the  knowledge  of  God,  in  order  that 
they  might  serve  him.  Without  assuming  anj' 
special  austerity  of  manner,  I  have  endeavored 
to  impress  my  class  with  the  idea  that  in  the 
school-room  they  were  as  much  in  the  house 
of  God  as  in  the  church ;  and  that  my  business 
is  to  teach  them  the  religion  of  the  Bible,  and 
to  persuade  them  to  practice  it,  as  much  as  it 
is  the  minister's.  Every  now  and  then  I  have 
been  accustomed  to  bring  to  them  some  one  of 


62        Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

the  many  passages  of  the  Scripture  in  which 
the  gospel  is  epitomized,  as  if  I  had  found  a 
fresh  treasure,  and  set  them  to  commit  it  to 
memory  and  recite  it  to  me.  I  require  each 
scholar  on  entering  my  class  to  learn  and 
repeat  1  Chronicles  xx^dii.  9,  as  a  sort  of  ma- 
triculating rite.  I  think  my  methods  have  not 
been  without  fruits,  for  during  my  teacher-days 
I  have  had  the  joy  of  seeing  some  score  of 
pupils  connect  themselves  with  the  church. 

I  am  revolving  these  reflections  to-night,  be- 
cause my  teacher-days  are  ended,  at  least  for  a 
season.  I  have  been  chosen  by  the  teachers, 
and  appointed  by  the  session,  to  the  office  of 
superintendent  of  our  school.  This  may  be 
promotion  and  an  enlargement  of  influence, 
but  I  foresee  in  it  a  serious  curtailment  of  en- 
joyment. I  must  cease  to  use  and  to  hear  the 
terms  which  have  become  dear  as  household 
words  to  me — "  my  class,"  "  my  teacher."  I 
must  act  now  very  much  through  other  hands. 
I  want  to  get  a  definite  conception  of  the  work 
I  am  to  do  in  my  new  position. 

Certainly,  believing,  as  I  do,  that  the  Sab- 
bath-school's right  to  exist  lies  in  its  being  an 
organic  factor  of  the  church,  its  function  must 
be  that  which  the  Lord  assigned  to  his  church 
when  he  said  to  the  founders  of  it,  "  Go,  make 


The  Sabbath-School.  63 

disciples  of  all  nations;  teaching  them  to  ob- 
serve all  things  whatsoever  I  have  commanded 
you."  It  must  be  a  teaching  institute,  like  the 
church.  It  must  be  a  branch  of  the  church, 
vitalized  by  the  same  principle,  and  aiming,  in 
all  its  details,  to  produce  the  same  result,  that 
is,  the  making  of  disciples  of  Christ.  What  the 
preacher  and  pastor  does  in  his  higher  sphere, 
as  the  instructor  of  a  congregation,  the  Sunday- 
school  teacher  is  expected  to  do  in  a  lower  one. 
He  must  be  the  bearer  of  religious  truth  to  the 
children  of  a  community,  ministering  the  bread 
of  life  to  those  who  come  from  homes  where 
there  are  none  able  or  disposed  to  give  it  to 
them. 

I  am  glad  to  feel  that  in  undertaking  the 
charge  of  this  school  I  am  not  engaging  in  a 
work  which  is  collateral  to,  or  independent  of, 
that  of  the  church,  but  one  which  is  normally 
identical  with  this,  so  that  I  shall  be  laboring 
side  by  side  with  our  minister  in  the  spiritual 
culture  of  this  field.  I  shall  encourage  myself 
by  the  assurance  that  I  can  claim  for  the  work 
of  this  school  all  the  aid  and  support  which 
Christ  has  promised  to  grant  to  the  work  of  his 
church. 

If,  now,  I  can  secure — which  I  shall  endea- 
vor to  do — a  concentration  of  spirit  and  effort 


64        Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

on  the  part  of  my  teachers,  in  the  fixing  in 
these  young  minds  of  right  ideas  of  Christ  and 
his  rehgion,  I  may  hope  to  make  of  our  school 
an  efficient  arm  of  the  church,  and  may  safely 
leave  much,  as  to  the  methods  of  instruction 
employed  in  particular  cases,  to  the  discretion 
of  the  teachers. 

May  the  Lord,  who  has  laid  this  new  burden 
upon  me,  so  guide  me  in  the  bearing  of  it  that 
I  may  have  the  joy  of  gathering  many  sheaves 
for  his  garner  out  of  this  interesting  harvest- 
field! 


EXTRACT    XL 

A  REVIVAL. 

Su?iday,  Decemher,  1873. — Our  church  and 
community  have  been  signally  blessed  during 
the  last  six  months,  with  what,  I  think,  may 
safely  be  called  a  genuine  revival  of  religion. 
An  interest,  amounting  to  a  profound  concern, 
in  regard  to  personal  religion,  has  prevailed  to 
a  degree  which  has  made  the  fact  phenomenal. 
It  seems  to  me  that  the  methods  have  been 
legitimate,  and  that  everything  extraneous  to 
the  simple  operation  of  the  truth  and  the  Spirit 
of  God  have  been  excluded.  Faithful  preach- 
ing we  have  always  had,  and  I  believe  faithful 
Sabbath-school  instruction.  Family  training 
has  been  pretty  well  observed  in  our  congrega- 
tion, and  the  testimony  of  consistent  living,  on 
the  part  of  a  good  portion  of  our  members,  has 
not  been  lacking.  These  have  not  been  without 
their  results.  But  special,  as  well  as  ordinary, 
manifestations  of  the  Spirit's  power,  I  am  sat- 
isfied, we  are  warranted  by  the  Scriptures  to 
expect  and  pray  for.  He  who,  like  the  wind, 
works  as  he  listeth,  may  evince  his  presence  by 
the  measure,  as  well  as  by  the  form,  in  which 
65 


66        Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

his  agency  is  demonstrated.  Nations  may  be 
spiritually  born  in  a  day  as  well  as  men. 

Early  in  the  last  summer  certain  persons  in 
our  various  denominations  were  led  to  confer 
in  regard  to  an  effort  to  awaken  thoughtfulness 
on  the  part  of  our  people  to  the  claims  of  Christ 
to  their  faith  and  obedience,  and  a  resolution 
was  adopted  to  open  a  daily  union  prayer- 
meeting,  at  an  hour  preceding  the  business 
period  of  the  day,  in  the  lecture-room  of  our- 
church,  which  was  central  and  accessible.  It 
was  to  be  under  the  control  of  leading  laymen 
of  the  different  churches.  No  speakers  were 
invited  from  abroad.  Our  clergymen  were 
asked  to  give  their  presence  and  aid,  exactly 
as  other  attendants  were  expected  to  do.  No 
unusual  services  were  announced ;  no  choirs 
were  collected  and  trained;  no  extraordinary 
attractions  were  introduced  or  advertised. 

After  notice  given  in  the  various  pulpits, 
the  meetings  commenced  on  a  Monday  morn- 
ing in  May  last.  They  were  limited  to  an 
hour.  From  the  start  they  were  well  attended, 
and  the  congregations -grew  from  da}'  to  day. 
Leaders  from  the  different  churches,  chosen 
by  the  committee  who  had  the  movement  in 
charge,  presided  in  succession.  They  seemed 
to  be  singularly  gifted  in  the  way  of  ordering 


A  Keyival.  67 

the  exercises  and  their  expositions  of  the  word 
of  God.  They  kept  the  tide  of  thought  and 
feeling  moving  without  a  pause,  calling  for 
prayers  and  counsels  from  particular  persons 
and  opening  the  door  for  voluntary  remarks  as 
any  one  present  was  disposed  to  make  them. 
The  hours  passed  pleasantly  and  rapidly,  and 
there  were  few  who  had  beeii  induced  to  be 
present  on  one  occasion  who  did  not  feel 
moved  to  come  again. 

It  soon  became  apparent  that  these  meetings 
were  having  an  influence  upon  the  public  mind. 
Multitudes  resorted  to  them  who  had  previously 
shown  no  relish  for  religious  exercises.  Men 
who  had,  heretofore,  been  fixed  in  their  indif- 
ference, or  who  had  stifled  their  convictions  of 
duty,  now  felt  a  fascination  which  brought 
them,  wdtli  anxious  faces  and  unvarying  regu- 
larity, to  the  house  of  prayer.  A  mysterious 
power,  counteracting  the  power  of  worldly 
things,  had  gone  forth  into  the  community. 
Religion  might  almost  have  been  said  to  have 
become  a  theme  of  popular  discussion.  Chris- 
tians were  emboldened  to  propose  it,  and  in- 
quirers were  found  on  every  hand  to  confess 
their  willingness  to  receive  instruction.  In 
several  instances  it  occurred  that  persons,  at 
the  time  when   free  remarks   were   called  for, 


68  EXTKACTS  FROM  AN  ElDEK's  DiARY. 

rose  and  asked  for  the  prayers  of  the  meeting. 
No  demonstrations  of  this  kind  were  solicited, 
and  no  adjuncts  in  the  way  of  stimulants  to 
feeling,  or  tests  of  purpose,  were  emplo^-ed. 
Whatever  personal  influence  was  used  to  per- 
suade men  to  embrace  religion  was  used  in 
private  conference.  That  a  work  so  evidently 
deep  and  wide-spread  should  go  on  so  quietly 
was  a  marvel. 

The  interest  in  our  own  congregation  became 

so  extensive  that  Dr.  N ,  in  order  to  meet 

the  craving  for  instruction  which  accompanied 
it,  appointed  a  short  daily  evening  service,  in 
which  he  might  adapt  his  teachings  to  the  dis- 
covered needs  of  his  own  flock;  and  at  the 
close  of  this,  he,  with  the  session,  engaged  in 
conversation  with  such  as  desired  counsel. 
Many  touching  incidents  attended  these  inter- 
views. Later  on,  the  session  commenced  hold- 
ing meetings  frequently,  for  the  purpose  of  re- 
ceiving the  profession  of  those  who  gave  evi- 
dence of  entertaining  a  true  faith  in  Christ. 
There  was  no  hurry,  no  confusion,  in  this  me- 
thod. 

These  daily  meetings  were  kept  up  through 
the  summer.  The  result  has  been  a  decided 
lifting-up  of  the  tone  of  the  religious  life  among 
God's  people,  and  the  addition  to  the  member- 


A  Kevival.  69 

ship  of  our  church  of  about  one  hundred  and 
twenty  souls,  and  there  is  every  reason  to  be- 
lieve that  in  most  of  these  latter  cases  the  con- 
version has  been  a  radical  one. 

One  of  the  remarkable  things  about  this 
movement  is  the  impression  which  has  been 
made  upon  that  portion  of  the  community 
which  has  not  come  under  its  direct  influence. 
There  is  a  silent  recognition  of  a  fact  which 
seems  to  be  too  patent  to  be  pronounced  un- 
real, although  the  nature  of  it  is  inexplicable 
to  these  observers.  We  hear  no  words  of  ridi- 
cule, no  charges  of  fanaticism,  no  questioning 
of  the  sincerity  or  the  intelligence  of  those  who 
have  professed  repentance  for  sin  and  faith  iu 
a  Saviour.  The  unexpressed  conviction  of  the 
onlooking  crowd,  if  put  into  words,  would  be, 
"This  is  the  Lord's  doing;  it  is  marvellous  iu 
our  eyes!" 

Such  a  season  of  grace,  permitting  God's  chil- 
dren on  earth  to  share  something  of  the  joy  of  the 
^  angels  in  heaven  over  sinners  repenting,  calls,  it 
seems  to  me,  for  some  serious  reflections. 

First,  There  is  danger  in  the  spiritual  sphere, 
as  well  as  in  the  na,tural  one,  that  a  rich  harvest 
may  invite  to  indulgence  in  rest,  and  a  release 
from  the  obligation  to  labor.  God  has  wrought 
so  wonderfully  for  us,  the  sophistry  of  our  car- 


70        Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

hal  nature  may  suggest,  that  there  is  no  neces- 
sity, at  least  for  the  present,  for  our  working. 
I  must  guard  against  this  fallacy  and  put  our 
people  on  their  guard  against  it. 

Second,  The  true  view,  certainly,  is  that 
grace,  in  showing  us  the  ground  of  our  salva- 
tion in  Christ's  work,  instead  of  absolving  the 
recipient  from  working,  furnishes  him  with  a 
new  and  special  incentive  and  encouragement 
to  work.  The  seasons  of  langour  which,  it  is 
said,  often  succeed  revivals  of  religion,  ought 
not  to  occur.  They  are  a  reversal  of  the  order 
of  God's  economy.  Grace  is  in  order  to  life 
and  activity. 

Third,  These  new  converts,  many  of  them 
young,  who  have  come  into  our  Christian  family, 
will  need  parental  care  and  nurture  at  the  hands 
of  the  church.  It  is  a  gross  inconsistency  and 
an  unnatural  cruelty  to  rejoice  over  a  new-born 
soul  and  then  leave  it  to  starve.  These  tender 
plants  must  be  watched,  and  nourished,  and 
trained ;  and  here  I  see  a  large  future  work  for 
the  officers  of  the  church  and  its  maturer  mem- 
bers. The  wisdom  of  a  Solomon  in  the  edifica- 
tion of  the  structure,  added  to  the  zeal  of  a 
David  in  the  gathering  of  the  material,  may 
issue  in  the  rearing  of  a  permanent  and  glorious 
temple.     And, 


A  Eevival.  71 

Fourth,  A  revival  in  a  church  is  illusory  if 
it  does  not  produce  a  manifest  and  abiding 
elevation  in  tbe  scale  of  piety  in  the  whole 
body.  The  quickening  or  reviving  of  a  church 
is  to  be  evinced,  not  by  the  numerical  magni- 
tude of  its  constituency,  but  by  the  spirit  of 
active  godliness  which  animates  it. 

God  grant  that  in  time  to  come,  when  the 
great  Husbandman  shall  come  to  look  at  our 
now  thrifty  fig  tree,  he  may  find  it  laden  with 
fruit  as  well  as  enveloped  in  leaves! 


EXTEACT   XII. 

A  ROMANCE. 

September  12,  1878. — I  had  occasion,  during 
the  last  month,  while  on  a  business  trip  to  one 
of  our  lively  western  cities,  to  witness  an  illus- 
tration of  what  I  mio;ht  call  Providence  in  ro- 
mance.    I  was  entertained  for  several  weeks  at 

the   residence  of  a  Mr.  R W ,  a 

worthy  gentleman  who  has  risen  to  the  position 
of  a  foremost  merchant  in  the  place.  Charac- 
ter and  energy  have  elevated  him  to  compara- 
tive wealth,  which  he  has  used  liberally  in 
gratifying  his  tastes  and  multiplying,  his  com- 
forts. His  home  was  a  pretty,  rural  one,  on 
the  edge  of  the  city,  to  which  a  street-railway 
line,  with  a  station  near  by,  gave  all  the  ad- 
vantages of  the  corporation.  It  struck  me  as 
a  model  nest  for  the  amiable  pair  who  dwelt 
within  it.  It  was  handsome  without  being  os- 
tentatious, commodious  in  its  arrangements, 
and  adorned  to  the  extent  of  every  reasonable 
desire.  Pleasant  prospects  opened  out  on 
every  side,  and  a  spacious  lawn  in  front  sloped 
down  to  the  margin  of  a  picturesque  little  river. 


A    ROMANCF.  73 

along  whose  banks  a  file  of  giant  oaks  stood  as 
warders  of  the  grounds. 

All  these  features  were  interesting  to  me  for 
a  special  reason.  The  master  and  mistress  of 
this  comelj^  mansion  were,  in  a  certain  sense, 
my  children.     At  some  time  near  the  close  of 

the  late  civil  war,  the  former,  Mr.  W , 

then  a  young  man  of  perhaps  twenty-one  years, 
appeared  in  our  city  as  the  agent  of  a  company 
of  capitalists  in  the  West,  to  superintend  the 
management  of  certain  cotton  estates  which 
they  had  leased  or  purchased.  His  appear- 
ance and  manners  were  attractive,  and  his  tes- 
timonials were  of  an  unquestionable  character. 
I  was  introduced  to  him  soon  after  his  arrival, 
and  found  him  frank,  intelligent,  and  right- 
minded.  At  my  suggestion,  he  became  a  lodger 
in  the  family  of  a  particular  friend  of  my  wife, 
a  lady  who  had  been  left  a  widow  some  years 
before,  without  means,  and  who  had  supported 
herself  and  her  two  little  daughters  by  taking 

boarders.     Mr.  W retained  his  quarters 

in  the  household  for  some  two  years,  identify- 
ing himself  so  completely  with  the  home-circle 
that  a  strong  bond  of  confidence  and  affection 
sprang  up  between  them.  The  younger  child 
was  about  seven  years  old,  bewitching  in  her 
beauty,  her  gracefulness,  and  her  vivacity.     In 


74        Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

the  sweet,  spontaueous  lovingness  of  her  own 
heart,  she  drew  the  love  of  all  other  hearts  to 
her.  She  and  the  young  lodger  became  fast 
friends.  He  filled  for  her  the  place  of  father, 
brother,  companion,  and  playmate ;  she  to  him 
was  the  object  upon  whom  all  the  ardor  of  a 
generous  nature,  which,  during  his  exile  from 
former  associations,  seemed  to  crave  an  outlet, 
expended  itself. 

At  length  Mr.  W ,  or  Robert,  as  most 

of  us  had  learned  to  call  him,  having  com- 
pleted his  mission,  was  recalled  by  his  em- 
ployers. The  parting  was  a  hard  trial  for  him 
and  the  little  Jeannette.  But,  as  we  say,  sor- 
row does  not  lodge  long  in  a  young  heart. 
She  said  little  about  him — rather  avoided  allu- 
sion to  him,  but  carefully  treasured  up  the 
keepsakes  he  had  left  her.  Two  years  passed 
in  the  widow's  home,  and  then  God  called  her 
to  himself.  The  elder  daughter  was  adopted 
by  a  kinsman,  and  Jeannette  was  added  to  our 
flock.  Her  nature  called  for  a  warm  atmos- 
phere in  which  to  grow,  and  she  found  it  in 
the  tender  sympathy  we  felt  for  her  loneliness, 
and  in  the  regard  excited  by  her  confiding  and 
winning  w-ays.  She  was  a  sweet  graft  on  our 
family  tree — one  with  us,  and  yet  unlike.  I 
gave   her   eyerj  advantage  that  my   own  chil- 


A  EOMANCE.  75 

dren  had  bad,  and  with  her  fine  talents  and 
avidity  for  knowledge  she  ripened  into  a  cul- 
tured womanhood.  One  peculiarity  about  her 
was,  that  she  seemed  unconscious  of  the  at- 
tractions which  every  one  recognized,  and 
rather  repelled  than  sought  adnMration  or  at 
tention.  As  the  result,  she  confined  her  shin- 
ing to  the  circle  of  her  home,  like  a  jewel  shut 
up  in  its  casket. 

In  the  meantime  our  young  friend,  Robert 
W ,  had  not  allowed  himself  to  be  forgot- 
ten. Every  now  and  then  letters  came  from 
him  to  his  little  Jeannette.  On  her  birthdays, 
and  at  other  times,  handsome  presents  were 
received  from  him.  Occasionally,  he  sent  a 
picture  of  himself,  and  asked  for  one  of  her  in 
return.  His  love  for  the  child  retained  its 
place  so  freshly  in  his  heart  that  he  seemed  to 
be  incapable  of  appreciating  the  lapse  of  years 
and  the  changes  it  had  wrought,  and  addressed 
her  in  the  same  frank  and  hearty  way  that  he 
had  done  when  she  used  to  clamber  on  his 
knee  in  her  mother's  home.  His  letters  were 
full  of  amusing  incongriiities  when  he  referred 
to  her,  but  managed  to  let  us  know  that  he  was 
prospering  in  business  and  acquiring  both  repu- 
tation and  wealth.  Shortly  after  his  return 
to  the  West  he  had  connected  himself  with  the 
Presbyterian  Church. 


7G        Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

One  day  a  telegram  was  received  from  liim, 
telling  us  that  lie  was  on  his  way  South,  and 
would  stop  and  spend  a  day  or  two  with  us. 
Thesse  tidings  created  a  flutter  in  the  house- 
hold, setting  every  mind  to  work  at  framing 
cenjectures,  anticipations,  and  devices  for  enter- 
taining our  "mythical  relative,"  as  we  had  been 
wont  to  call  him.  He  arrived  at  the  designated 
time,  and  stood  before  us  with  hardly  a  per- 
ceptible change  from  the  image  of  him  left 
upon  our  memory  when  he  had  vanished  from 
our  sight  ten  years  before.  There  was  the 
same  genial  air  in  countenance  and  manner 
which  used  to  make  him  magnetic;  the  same 
ingenuousness  pervading  his  address,  in  which 
ardor  was  combined  with  delicacy,  which  had 
marked  him  in  his  youth;  and  as  the  result, 
in  a  few  moments  we  were  all  as  much  at  ease 
together  as  if  we  had  parted  only  yesterday. 

All  were,  of  course,  interested  in  seeing  the 
meeting  between  him  and  Jeanuette.  As  hand 
after  hand  was  rapidly  grasped,  he  came  to  her, 
and,  almost  overcome  by  his  emotion,  cried, 
"  Oh,  Jeanie !  Jeannie !  ray  little  one,  do  I  see 
you  again?" 

With  a  smile,  placid  as  usual,  she  said,  "I 
almost  wish  I  could  be  a  little  one  again,  that 
you  might  be  sure  that  it  is  really  I ! " 


A  Romance,  77 

"Oh,  no!"  he  exclaimed,  "I  see  my  little 
one  all  here  and — so  much  more!  Yon  must 
tell  me  all  about  it — how  the  little  one  has 
grown  up  to  be  the  splendid — well,  I  mean  the 
woman  that  she  is;  but,  to  me,  it  will  be  the 
'little  one'  that  I  see  all  the  way  through!  " 

He  spent  two  days  with  us,  during  which 
he  and  Jeannette  were  much  together.  The 
period  of  time  during  which  they  had  been 
separated  was  reviewed  step  by  step,  and  by 
the  time  he  took  his  departure  the  two  streams 
of  life  seemed  to  have  become  as  closely  inter- 
mingled as  they  had  been  in  her  childhood. 

The  evening  after  he  had  left,  she  and  I  were 
alone,  when,  in  a  rather  embarrassed  way,  she 
said  to  me,  "Uncle"  (I  had  taught  her  to  call 
me  thus),  "Robert,  I  mean  Mr.  W ,  ex- 
pects to  return  here  in  about  a  mouth." 

"Well,"  I  said,  "we  shall  all  be  glad  to  see 
him — shall  we  not  ?  " 

"  Yes,"  she  replied,  "  I  suppose  so ;  but," 
she  added,  in  a  voice  dropping  low,  if  she  were 
almost  afraid  to  hear  her  words,  "he  told  me 
that  when  he  came  he  should  ask  me  to  become 
his  wife.  He  said  I  belonged  to  him,  that  God 
had  given  me  to  him,  and  kept  me  all  these 
years  for  him,  and  that  his  life  would  be  a 
worthless   blank  unless  I  shared  it  with    him. 


78        Extracts  from  an  Elder'h  Diary. 

He  did  not  want  me  to  say  yes  or  no  then,  but 
asked  me  to  consult  with  you  before  I  gave 
him  my  answer.  Oh,"  she  exclaimed,  as  she 
finished  her  communication,  "he  is  so  good 
and  kind  that  I  could  not  be  offended  with  him ; 
but  I  had  not  thought  of  this ! " 

She  was  in  tears  when  she  stopped.  I  was 
not  surprised  at  this  revelation ;  and  said  to 
her,  "My  child,  perhaps  God  has  been  think- 
ing about  it.  We  must  look  at  the  matter  reli- 
giously.    One  thing  is  certain,   we  know   Mr. 

W to   be  a  man,  in    the    fullest    sense, 

worthy  of  respect,  confidence,  and  even  affec- 
tion. It  is  strange  that  with  his  many  engaging 
qualities  and  his  social  disposition  he  has  not 
been  involved  in  an  attachment  with  some  one 
long  ago.  His  love  for  you  seems  to  have  kept 
pace  with  his  years.    Don't  you  think  it  is  real  ?  " 

"  He  says  it  is,  and  that  it  cannot  be  anything 
else,  for  it  is  a  part  of  his  very  life,"  was  her 
reply. 

"And  don't  you  think  that  you  have  a  regard 
for  him,  which  may  possibly  be  what  is  called 
love  ?  "  I  continued. 

"Uncle,"  she  said,  looking  me  earnestly  in 
the  face,  "  beyond  you  and  your  dear  Avife  and 
children,  there  has  been  nobofly  in  the  world 
for  me  to  love  except  Mr.  W ,  who  has 


A  KOMANCE,  70 

strangely  cared  for  me  all  mj  life,  I  may  say, 
and  whose  tender  interest  in  me  has  seemed  to 
unite  him  inseparably  with  all  my  thousrhts  and 
affections,  although  I  never  thought  of  it  as 
the  love  that  leads  to  marriage." 

"  My  dear,"  I  said,  "  we  must  lay  this  subject 
before  God.  If  his  hand  is  in  it,  his  voice  will 
give  an  answer  to  your  perplexity.  You  have 
time  to  reflect,  and  to  test  your  feelings,  and  to 
pray  for  divine  illumination.  You  are  God's 
child,  and  if  you  go  to  him  for  counsel  he  will 
not  suffer  30U  to  err  in  your  decision." 

In   due   time    Mr.   W reappeared,    a 

favorable  response  rewarded  his  devotion ;  and 
in  a  few  months  later  he  returned  to  claim  his 
bride.     In  the  presence  of  a  few  friends   Dr. 

N united  the  handsome  pair,  and  in  a 

few  hours  they  left  on  the  train  for  their  future 
home.  As  they  drove  from  our  door  my  ejacu- 
lation was,  "It  is  the  story  of  Isaac  and 
Rebekah  over  again!"  My  wife,  amidst  her 
tears,  exclaimed,  "  In  thee  the  fatherless  findeth 
mercy";  and  an  old  colored  mammj',  who,  like 
her  class,  was  bound  to  be  in  the  front  at  a  leave- 
taking,  gave  vent  to  her  Calvinistic  faith  in  the 
words,  "  Sure,  de  good  Lord  has  been  knowin' 
of  it  all  de  time,  and  has  jest  been  keepin* 
these  dear  children  for  one  anotlier!  " 


80        Extracts  fiiom  an  Elder's  Diary. 

It  was  iu  the  home  of  this  happj-  couple,  the 
abode  of  domestic  virtue  and  sanctified  affec- 
tion, that  I  have  recently  been  sojourning ;  and 
as  I  broke  bread  at  their  generous  table,  it  was 
sweetened  by  the  reflection  that  it  was  a  fulfil- 
ment of  the  promise,  "Cast  thy  bread  upon 
the  waters,  for  thou  shalt  find  it  after  many 
days." 


EXTEACT  XIII. 

.1  PESTILENCE. 

Sunday,  Novemher  9,  1879. — The  November 
frosts  have  brought  us  deliverance  from  a 
deadly  scourge,  which  for  the  past  two  months 
has  been  desolating  this  community.  Early  in 
the  fall  the  suspicion  that  several  cases  of  the 
yellow  fever,  the  occasional  plague  of  our  south- 
ern seaboard,  had  occurred,  had  agitated  the 
public  mind.  The  certainty  of  the  fact  slowly 
revealed  itself.  The  doubts  of  the  most  in- 
credulous at  last  gave  way,  and  then  the  usual 
panic  ensued.  Every  one  who  could  find  a 
retreat,  near  or  far,  fled.  The  multitude  who 
could  not  get  away  remained  to  meet  their  fate, 
persuading  themselves,  however,  that,  on  one 
ground  or  another,  they  would  be  exempt  from 
the  touch  of  the  pestilence.  I,  who  had  passed 
through  several  seasons  of  this  kind,  and  con- 
sidered myself  acclimated,  although  I  had  never 
taken  the  fever,  resolved,  after  removing  my 
family  to  a  place  of  safety,  to  stay  at  home  and 
render  such  assistance  as  I  could  in  caring  for 
the  sick.  It  has  been  a  time  of  trying,  and,  I 
6  81 


82        Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

trust,  in  many  respects,  profitable,  experience 
to  me. 

Nothing  can  be  more  depressing  than  to  feel, 
day  after  day  and  night  after  night,  that  you 
are  enfolded  by  the  shadow  of  death.  The 
dreary  continuity  and  monotony  with  which 
one  has  to  revolve  in  thought  and  conversation 
such  topics  as  the  new  victims  added  to  the 
list  of  patients,  the  latest  symptoms  of  those 
under  treatment,  and  the  fatal  issue  of  the 
struggle  in  this  case  or  that,  are  simply  awful. 
Perhaps  it  is  not  strange  that  many  persons  at 
such  seasons  grow  reckless,  and  resort  to  dis- 
sipation as  an  antidote  to  the  gloom  of  their 
surroundings.  It  is  said  that  while,  during  the 
prevalence  of  an  epidemic,  the  ordinary  branches 
of  business  are,  for  the  most  part,  suspended,  the 
saloons  and  places  of  revelry  are  patronized  to 
an  exceptional  extent.  The  evidences  of  the  in- 
tense, and  even  brutal,  depravity  which  our  fallen 
nature  is  capable  of  entertaining  and  exhibit- 
ing, which  have  come  under  my  own  notice, 
are  astounding.  Rapacity  seems  to  leap,  like 
a  hungry  wolf,  upon  a  prostrate  community, 
and  gratify  its  appetite  by  extorting  gain  from 
its  needs  and  sufferings.  A  cold-blooded  ava- 
rice can  sit  at  its  desk  and  calculate  how  the 
woes  of  a  plague-smitten  community,  and  even 


A  Pestilence.  83 

the   terrors   of  Almiglity   God,   can   be   coined 
into  money. 

But  I  thank  God  that  if  these  fearful  chal- 
lenges call  forth  the  enmity  of  the  carnal  mind 
to  him,  on  the  one  hand,  they  give  occasion  on 
the  other  for  beautiful  exhibitions  of  faith, 
brotherly  kindness,  and  self-sacrificing  devo- 
tion to  duty.  Christian  men  and  women  liave 
led  the  rauks  of  the  helpers  in  this  season  of 
general  distress,  and  have  been  foremost  in 
providing  means,  devising  methods,  and  per- 
sonally executing  them  for  the  relief  of  the 
afflicted  multitude.  A  Spartan  band  have  done 
a  heroic  work,  and  have  done  it,  very  largely, 
under  the  prompting  of  the  spirit  of  Christ. 
It  has  not  been  a  poetic  work,  Avhich  one  might 
touch  with  a  gloved  hand,  but  one  of  sheer, 
homely  labor,  including  the  manifold  services 
of  the  literal  nurse,  and  oftentimes  in  scenes  of 
squalor  and  upon  subjects  uncomely,  if  not  re- 
pulsive. It  is  simply  hospital  work,  without 
the  advantage  of  the  facilities  which  hospitals 
afford.  One  is  tempted  to  ask,  "What  place  is 
there  for  spiritual  ministrations  under  such 
circumstances?  Often,  it  has  to  be  confessed, 
there  is  none.  To  the  patient,  racked  with 
bodily  pain,  raving  with  delirium,  or  sunk  in 
unconsciousness,  even  the  offering  of  a  prayer 


84         Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

seems  to  be  an  \inmeaning  exercise  Still,  the 
Christian  may  find  in  liis  own  experience  that 
the  humane  element  in  his  philanthropic  work 
may  be  spiritualized,  as  an  expression  of  the 
faith  which  works  by  love  to  his  seen  neighbor, 
through  the  love  he  bears  to  God,  whom  he 
cannot  see.  In  Christ's  name  he  may  visit  the 
sick,  and  put  the  cup  of  cold  water  to  the 
thirsty  lip,  and  the  thought  will  awaken  in  his 
own  heart,  at  least,  motives  and  affections  of 
an  eminently  spiritual  nature.  Certainly,  I 
can  testify  that  during  these  weary  watchings 
by  night  and  labors  by  day,  I  have  enjoyed  a 
sense  of  fellowship  with  my  divine  Master,  and 
of  the  blessedness  of  union  with  him,  which  has 
rarely  been  vouchsafed  to  me  elsewhere.  The 
testimony  which  is  given  before  the  eye  of  the 
world,  that  religion  is  deed  as  well  as  profes- 
sion, is  something  which  also  invests  even  this 
drudgery  of  nursing  with  a  spiritual  aspect. 
Then,  too,  sometimes  a  soothing  word  may  be 
spoken,  or  an  allusion  be  made  to  the  ''old, 
old  story  of  Jesus  and  his  love,"  which  may 
fall  like  dew  upon  a  withered  soul.  I  recall  an 
instance  of  this,  which  occurred  one  night  as  I 
was  sitting  alone  by  the  bedside  of  a  man  of 
mature  age,  who  was  lying  in  that  stage  of  ex- 
haustion which  follows  a  severe  attack  of  fever. 


A  Pestilence.  85 

He  drew  a  long  breath  and  murmured,  "  I  feel 
as  weak  as  a  child."  "Yes,"  I  said,  quietly, 
"God  reminds  us  all  sometimes  that  we  are 
but  little  children.  He  would  not  have  us 
forget  the  child's  trust,  nor  the  child's  prayer. 
Put  yourself  in  the  position  of  a  child  again, 
and  say,  as  you  used  to  do  at  your  mother's 
knee,  '  Our  Father  which  art  in  heaven  ! '  As 
a  little  child,  Jesus  tells  us,  we  must  all  enter 
into  the  kingdom  of  God.  Remember  the 
lessons  which  were  taught  you  in  your  child- 
hood ;  the  texts  of  Scripture,  the  sayings  of  the 
Saviour,  the  stories  of  the  prodigal  son,  and  of 
the  dying  thief,  and  the  hymns  which  tell  of 
the  love  of  Jesus  to  us  sinners!  Oh,  yes,  it  is 
well  for  us  to  be  made  to  feel  as  little  children  ; 
for,  as  men,  we  fancy  that  we  are  too  wise  and 
two  strong  to  need  God,  and  so  we  forget  him, 
and  try  to  live  without  him ;  and  it  is  to  make 
us  willing  to  return  to  him  that  he  throws  us 
back  into  the  weakness  of  childhood."  And  so 
I  went  on,  for  I  saw  that  he  was  not  offended, 
but  interested,  and  soon  his  lip  quivered,  and 
the  tears  trickled  down  his  face.  I  paused, 
fearing  that  his  excitement  might  be  injurious, 
and  asked,  "  Shall  I  pray  for  you?"  He  gave 
me  an  earnest  look  and  nodded  his  head. 
When  I  rose  from  my  prayer,  his  eyes  were 


S6        Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

closed,  but  he  clasped  the  hand  with  which  I 
had  been  holding  his  own,  which  was  about 
the  last  sign  of  intelligence  he  showed.  His 
stupor  deepened  till  he  died  before  the  morn- 
ing. What  passed  between  the  Spirit  of  God 
and  his  soul  lies  beyond  human  ken ;  but  I  am 
glad  I  was  permitted  to  say  to  him  what  I  did. 

Our  pastor,  Dr.  N ,  has  been  assidu- 
ous in  his  attention  to  the  sick  and  afflicted 
throughout  the  season.  He  has  kept  up,  regu- 
larly, a  morning  service  on  the  Sabbath  and  a 
weekly  prayer-meeting.  It  has  been  an  un- 
speakable solace  to  the  limited  band  who  could 
convene  for  worship  to  place  themselves  thus 
under  the  shadow  of  the  Almighty's  wings, 
and  to  be  led  out  of  the  arid  scenes  through 
which  they  had  been  passing  during  the  week, 
to  the  fountains  of  spiritual  health  and  invigo- 
ration.  Dr.  N tells  me  that  he  is  con- 
vinced that  a  minister's  presence  is  needed, 
during  an  epidemic,  more  as  a  comforter  to  be- 
reaved households  than  as  a  counsellor  to  the 
sick  and  dying. 

"Never,"  was  his  remark,  "have  I  been  more 
impressed  with  the  ])erilousness  of  siispending 
the  soul's  salvation  upon  the  chances  of  a 
death-bed.  conversion.  While  the  fight  for 
natural  life  is  going  on,  there  is  no  opportunity 


A  Pestilence.  87 

for  the  religious  teacher  to  interject  his  instruc- 
tions. But  the  poor  surviving  mourners — their 
case  has  touched  my  heart.  Death  by  the 
plague  is  still — death;  and  for  the  loved  one 
gone  there  is  the  same  sorrow  as  that  which 
floods  a  family  at  other  times,  and  the  same 
desire  that  the  precious  body  should  be  laid  in 
the  ground  with  the  usual  testimonials  of  re- 
spect. I  am  satisfied  that,  if  1  have  done  any 
good  this  season,  it  has  been  mainly  here,  in 
the  lifting-up  of  those  who  have  been  bowed 
down  under  the  strokes  of  God's  mysterious 
providence." 

His  remark  reminded  me  of  the  exclamation 
of  a  lady,  not  of  his  communion,  as  she  grasped 
his  hand  as  we  were  leaving  one  of  these  smit- 
ten homes :  "  Oh !  Dr.  N ,  what  would  we 

have  done  in  this  time  of  trouble  without  your 
counsels  and  prayers!" 

Through  God's  special  mercy,  but  few  fatal 
cases  of  sickness  have  occurred  among  our  com- 
municants. One  of  these  had  in  it  something 
of  the  features  of  a  dreary  romance,  or  showed 
the  ruthlessness  with  which  death  overrides 
the  tenderest  attachments  which  bind  us  to  life. 
A  young  man,  a  mechanic,  who  had  come  from 
the  West  a  year  or  more  ago,  had  presented 
his  letter   of  dismission  from  a  church  in  his 


88        Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

former  place  of  residence  to  our  session,  and 
had  been  admitted  to  our  communion.  His 
unvarying  strictness  in  observing  his  religious 
duties,  and  his  fidelity  to  all  his  business  obli- 
gations, soon  gained  him  the  respect  and  jDa- 
tronage  of  the  community.  Under  these  en- 
couraging auspices,  he  ventured,  last  summer, 
to  bring  to  a  neat  little  home,  which  he  had 
purchased  and  furnished,  a  fair  young  bride, 
exuberant  in  health  and  beauty  as  a  prairie 
rose.  It  was  a  pleasure,  which  I  frequently  en- 
joyed, to  drop  in  and  witness  their  happiness. 
When  the  fever  broke  out,  I  begged  him  to 
seek  some  retreat  for  himself  and  his  wife  in 
the  country.  He  was  well,  temperate,  and  oc- 
cupied with  his  trade,  and  his  mind  could  not 
take  in  the  thought  of  danger.  I  repeated  my 
advice  the  last  time  I  met  him  on  the  street. 
Then  he  argued  that  it  was  too  late ;  that,  even 
if  he  desired  to  leave,  he  must  have  imbibed 
the  infection.  It  was,  indeed,  too  late.  The 
next  day  I  learned  that  both  he  and  his  wife 
were  stricken  violently  with  the  disease.  I 
hurried  to  the  house,  where  kind  friends  had 
already  preceded  me,  and  found  him  in  one 
room  and  his  wife  in  an  adjoining  one,  both  in 
a  state  of  delirium — a  dull  stupor  in  his  case, 
and   a   wild   ramblinsr  of   mind   in   hers.     The 


A  Pestilence.  89 

eclipse  which  had  fallen  ou  his  soul  was  never 
lifted.  Her  ceaseless,  but  irrational,  activity 
wrought  like  an  effervescing  fountain.  One 
sentiment  seemed  to  hold  its  ground  amidst  all 
her  confusion,  and  that  was  gratitude  for  a 
little  bunch  of  flowers  which  I  had  brought 
her  ou  one  of  my  visits.  She  kept  them  per- 
petually in  sight,  talked  fondly  of  them  and  to 
them  till  speech  failed  her;  and  when  she  died, 
a  gentle  hand  laid  the  faded  emblem  of  herself 
on  her  bosom.  The  end  came  to  them  both  on 
the  morning  of  the  fourth  day,  with  the  differ- 
ence of  only  a  few  hours  in  time ;  and  in  the 
shadow  of  the  evening  we  bore  their  coffins  to 
the  cemetery  in  the  same  hearse,  and  laid  them 
side  by  side  in  the  same  grave.  It  was  the 
saddest  of  all  the  sad  incidents  I  have  been 
called  to  witness,  and  an  illustration  of  the  in- 
stability of  human  hopes  and  plans  which  I 
shall  never  forget.  We  gaze  at  such  anomalies 
as  the  Israelites  did  at  the  cloud  and  flame 
which  enveloped  the  crest  of  Sinai;  and  the 
only  solution  of  the  dread  phenomenon  is  to  be 
found  in  the  revelation  of  the  sovereign  law, 
the  holy  will  of  the  Lord  God,  which  faith 
discerns  through  the  thunder's  voice  and  the 
lightning's  blaze. 

Alongside  of  this  pictiire  is  another  which  is 


90        Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

traced  indelibly  upou  my  memory.  A  young 
stranger  from  au  eastern  State  had  been  ap- 
pointed by  the  authorities  in  charge  of  our 
municipal  ^iffairs  the  principal  of  our  public 
school.  The  appointment  was  offensive  to  our 
people,  and  the  new  officer  made  no  friends. 
Ultimately  the  fever  seized  him.  Instantly  a 
tide  of  sympathy  turned  to  him,  and  pi-ejudiees 
disappeared  in  the  face  of  the  sufferer's  lone- 
liness and  helplessness.  No  effort  was  spared 
by  men  or  women  to  promote  his  comfort  and 
save  his  life.  I  went  to  his  lodgings  promptly, 
and  tellino-  him  who  I  was,  offered  him  my  per- 
sonal services,  and  assured  him  of  the  kindly 
interest  felt  in  his  case  by  the  community.  He 
was  touched,  and  became  confidential.  He 
told  me,  among  other  things,  that  he  was  a 
member  of  the  Presbyterian  Church  at  his 
home,  and  had  brought  his  certificate  with 
him,  but  had  been  deterred  from  presenting  it 
to  the  church  by  discovering  the  adverse  feel- 
ing entertained  towards  him  by  the  community. 
He  was  a  recent  graduate  of  a  New  England 
college,  anxious  to  teach  before  studying  a 
profession,  and  had  accepted  the  appointment 
offered  to  him  in  entire  ignorance  of  the  objec- 
tionable circumstances  under  which  it  had  been 
made.     His  family  had  consented  to  his  leav- 


A  Pestilence.  91 

ing  them  in  the  behef  that  the  opening  pre- 
sented to  him  was  a  particiihirly  desirable  one. 

"Oh,"  I  could  not  but  exclaim,  "if  you  had 
only  gone,  as  you  might  have  done,  to  our 
pastor,  and  told  him  all  these  facts,  how 
much  injustice  and  suffering  might  have  been 
avoided!"  I  added,  "Everybody  is  your 
friend,  now.     We  will  do  all  that  hiiraan  skill 

and  attention  can  do  for  you,  and  Dr.  N 

will  call  to  see  you,  and  the  prayers  of  God's 
people  will  go  up  for  you."  I  encouraged  him 
with  these  and  other  words. 

His  attack  was  a  violent  one,  but  his  frame 
was  strong,  and  for  a  day  or  two  we  hoped  to 
see  him  r:dly.  But  the  brain  began  to  show 
signs  of  giving  way,  and  hope  left  us.  It  was 
devolved  upon  me  to  reveal  to  him  his  con- 
dition. I  did  so  as  carefully  and  tenderly  as 
I  could.  He  looked  at  me  with  an  expression 
of  amazement  and  agony  on  his  countenance 
which  was  unutterably  pathetic. 

"Oh,  God,"  he  exclaimed,  "has  it  come  to 
this?  "Was  it  for  this  I  left  my  home?"  and 
burying  his  face  in  his  pillow,  he  wept  and 
groaned  himself  into  comparative  composure. 
After  a  while  he  turned  to  me  again,  and  said, 
"Let  me  speak  to  you  while  I  can.  You  will 
find    paper    and  pencil    thei*e,"   pointing    to    a 


92        Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

table;  "take  down  what  I  have  to  say."  He 
gave  me  the  address  of  his  father,  and  directed 
me  to  convey  to  him  unmerous  messages  ;  "and 
tell  him — tell  him,"  he  added,  in  broken  utter- 
ances, "Oh,  yes,  merciful  Saviour,  may  I  not 
tell  him — that  I  died — a  Christian?  " 

He  paused  a  while  and  then  said,  "I  have 
one  request  more.  I  am  engaged  to  be  mar- 
ried.    Write  to  Miss ,  at (cjiv- 

ing  me  a  lady's  address),  "and  tell  her  that  I 
have  loved  her  to  the  last,  and  I  think  God  will 
let  me  love  her  still  in  heaven.  And  please 
put  this  in  your  letter,"  he  continued,  as  he 
drew  a  ring  from  his  finger.  "  She  will  know 
it,  and  know  what  it  means!"  He  was  ex- 
hausted. I  spoke  some  soothing  words,  offered 
up  a  brief  prayer  at  his  bedside,  and  left  him. 

I  never  saw  him  again.  He  soon  became 
delirious — frantic,  even,  and  died  before  the 
next  morning.  An  unusually  large  company 
attended  his  burial,  and  women's  gentle  hands 
strewed  flowers  over  the  stranger's  grave.  Death 
called  into  exercise  a  charity  which,  under  the 
mistakes  and  passions  of  life,  had  failed  to 
assert  itself.  Perhaps  there  would  not  be  so 
many  sorrows  in  the  world  if  they  were  not 
necessary  to  keep  the  fire  of  humanity  burning 
in  human  breasts. 


A  Pestilence.  93 

Oh,  God,  how  unsearchable  are  thy  judg- 
ments, and  thy  ways  past  finding  out!  Surely, 
it  must  be  that  the  fascinations  of  a  world 
which  have  grown  too  attractive  to  me  may  be 
broken  that  I  have  been  called  to  pass  through 
such  scenes! 


EXTRACT  XIV. 

THE  GENERAL  ASSEMBLY. 

June  2,  1880. — Last  month  it  was  my  privi- 
lege to  be  present  as  a  commissioner  of  our 
presbytery  at  the  General  Assembly,  which  met 

at .     I  had  been  fairly  educated  for  this 

office  by  my  frequent  attendance  upon  the 
meetings  of  presbytery  and  synod,  but  have 
heretofore  declined  an  appointment  to  this 
more  august  body,  partly  from  a  diffidence  as 
to  my  fitness  to  do  service  to  the  church,  but 
mainly  because  I  could  not  venture  to  ask  so 
extended  a  release  from  my  secular  engage- 
ments as  an  attendance  upon  a  General  Assem- 
bl}'  would  demand.  This  year,  as  I  could 
consistently  command  time,  I  allowed  myself 
to  be  elected,  and  was  able  to  fill  my  seat  from 
the  beginning  to  the  close  of  the  sessions  of  the 
body. 

I  confess  that  it  was  with  a  very  distinct 
sense  of  awe  that  I  found  myself  associated 
with  this  supreme  court  of  the  Presbyterian 
Church.  The  term  "venerable,"  so  often  ap- 
plied to  it  in  the  Avay  of  courtesy,  was  to  me 
more  than  a  title ;  it  was  a  fact.  Believing,  as 
94 


The  General  Assembly.  95 

I  did,  that  the  idea  of  the  church  given  in  the 
Bible  was  correctly  embodied  in  the  Presby- 
terian system,  and  recognizing  the  members  of 
this  convention  as  a  body  charged  b}'  the  head 
of  the  church  with  the  ministerial  oversight  of 
its  affairs,  I  had  been  accustomed  to  invest  it 
with  the  highest  attributes  with  which  a  mere 
human  congress  could  be  endowed.  I  took  my 
seat  in  this  meeting,  therefore,  with,  perhaps, 
an  extravagant  expectation  as  to  the  exhibition 
of  dignity,  intellectual  ability,  wisdom  and  spir- 
itual-mindedness  which  I  was  to  witness  in  the 
proceedings  with  which,  for  a  series  of  days, 
we  were  to  be  occupied.  These  expectations, 
I  am  pleased  to  sa}^  have  been  to  a  large 
extent,  gratified.  I  am  impressed  more  pro- 
foundly than  I  have  ever  been,  with  the  con- 
viction that  our  church  is  loyal  to  the  principles 
upon  which  Christ  has  founded  his  visible  king- 
dom, that  it  has  realized  the  right  conception 
of  its  structure  and  mission,  and  that  it  has 
been  eminently  wise  in  the  methods  adopted 
for  the  execution  of  its  great  vocation.  If  I 
loved  and  honored  it  before,  I  love  and  honor 
it  more  now,  for  the  confidence  I  have  in  it,  as 
true  in  its  adherence  to  the  immutable  truths 
of  the  everlasting  gospel,  on  the  one  hand,  and 
singularly  adapted,  in  its  working,  to  the  needs 


96        Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

and  conditions  of  the  world  wiiich  it  is  to  con- 
vert, on  tlie  other.  I  record  it  as  one  of  the 
great  privileges  of  m}-  life  that  I  have  been 
permitted  to  attend  this  Assembly.  I  wish  to 
record,  now,  some  of  the  reflections  which 
have  taken  shape  in  my  mind,  in  connection 
with  this  pleasant  interhide  in  my  experience, 
before  they  have  lost  their  freshness. 

First,  In  so  large  a  body  I  missed  the  close- 
ness of  intercourse,  and  the  warmth  of  fraternal 
sympathy  with  which  I  had  become  familiar  at 
the  meetings  of  presbytery  and  synod.  Still, 
there  was  a  compensation  for  this  loss  in  the 
opportunity  of  seeing  the  faces  and  hearing 
the  voices  of  manj'  with  whose  names  I  had 
long  been  acquainted,  and  whose  eminence  as 
standard-bearers  in  the  Lord's  host  had  drawn 
to  them  the  respect  and  pride  which,  as  a 
humble  member  of  the  same  spiritual  house- 
hold, I  had  been  wont  to  entertain  towards 
these  illustrious  kinsmen.  I  have  added  to 
t^ie  range  of  my  enjoyments  in  time  to  come,  I 
am  sure,  by  this  enlargement  of  relationship 
and  affection.  It  was  a  thought,  too,  which 
often  came  to  me  with  an  inspiring  effect,  that 
here,  in  this  company,  consisting,  for  the  most 
part,  of  men  of  marked  individuality,  and  rep- 
resenting  the    diverse   mental   phases    due  to 


The  General  Assembly.  97 

sectional  enviroumeut,  and  different  social  and 
literary  training,  and  who  were,  yet,  all  welded 
together  in  the  closest  concord  by  the  inspira- 
tion of  a  common  faith  in  the  word  of  God  and 
a  common  zeal  for  the  cause  of  Christ,  I  was 
beholding  the  blessed  spectacle  of  a  corpora- 
tion like  that  which  the  apostle  describes  in 
his  Epistle  to  the  Ephesians,  as  "a  building 
fitly  framed  together"  and  constituting  by  the 
unity  of  its  members  "  a  habitation  of  God 
through  the  Spirit."  Separate  waves  they 
seemed,  each  possessing  its  own  vitality  and 
maintaining  its  own  independence,  and  yet 
moving  under  the  same  impulse,  and  blending 
in  a  grand  harmony  like  that  of  the  sea.  And 
as  I  never  look  at  the  sea  withoiit  feeling  that 
the  i^ulse  of  God's  power  is  throbbing  in  its 
flow,  so,  in  this  spectacle,  I  could  not  but  feel 
that  this  confluence  of  soul  was  due  to  the 
power  of  God's  grace. 

Thei'e  is  something,  also,  of  which  I  am  con- 
scious, which  I  may  call  the  quickening  and 
widening  of  m}^  individual  spiritual  life  through 
-association  with  the  corporate  life  of  the 
church,  which  this  protracted  communion  with 
so  large  a  body  of  brethren  has  awakened  in 
me.  Personally,  perhaps,  I  have  an  increased 
sense  of  my  own  insignificance  by  having  had 
7 


98         Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

to  exchange  the  standards  of  my  own  httle 
home-sphere  for  those  with  which  I  have  been 
brought  in  contact  during  this  meeting;  but  I 
feel  that  I  am  a  bigger  and  a  stronger  man  in 
faith  and  in  purpose,  through  the  wider  horizon 
which  I  have  been  surveying  and  the  stimu- 
lating atmosphere  I  have  been  inhaling.  Yes, 
I  am  thankful  I  went  to  this  Assembly,  though 
I  went  supposing  I  was  a  cipher,  and  have  re- 
turned knowing  that  I  am  one. 

Second,  I  had  no  light  to  throw  upon  the 
deliberations  of  the  body  through  the  medium 
of  public  address,  but  I  could,  and  I  did,  take 
part  in  the  business  by  participating  in  the 
consultations  of  several  committees  of  which  I 
was  appointed  a  member.  In  this  capacity  I 
tried  to  do  my  best.  I  soon  discovered  that  a 
commissioner  to  the  General  Assembly  was  not 
sent  on  a  holiday  excursion.  The  call  for  work 
was  incessant,  and  often  interfered  with  private 
convenience  and  bodily  comfort.  The  efficiency 
of  an  Assembly  in  doing  business  well  and 
promptly  lies,  I  am  persuaded,  very  largely,  in 
the  competency  and  fidelity  of  its  committees. 
In  the  rural  district  where  I  was  born,  there 
were  occasional  gatherings  of  the  people  of  the 
neighborhood  at  what  were  called  "raisings." 
A  house  was  to  be  built.     The  material  for  the 


The  General  Assembly.  99 

frame-work  of  the  structure  had  all  been  pre- 
pared, piece  by  piece,  in  the  seclusion  of  the 
workshop  or  siied,  by  the  mechanics.  When  all 
was  elaborated,  to  the  shaping  of  the  minutest 
pin  or  brace,  the  male  portion  of  the  community 
were  invited  to  come  and  assist  in  the  process 
of  laying,  elevating,  and  jointing  the  various 
parts  of  the  building.  It  was  simply  a  public 
agency  giving  eifect  to  a  project  in  which  every 
element  had  been  provided  by  skilled  hands 
in  private.  This  now  obsolete  custom,  it  seems 
to  me  upon  a  review  of  what  I  witnessed,  might 
be  imitated  to  advantage  by  a  large  ecclesi- 
astical body.  Let  the  work  of  hewing,  planing, 
and  chiselling  be  done  in  the  committee  room, 
and  let  the  Assembly  attend  to  the  rawing/. 
There  used  to  be,  also,  a  generous  feast  spread, 
as  the  sequel  to  these  gatherings.  Perhaps,  if 
the  same  plan  were  adopted,  there  might  be  a 
better  chance  to  respond  to  the  hospitable 
importunities  which  are  apt  to  pursue  the  at- 
tendants upon  our  church  meetings. 

Third,  The  extent  of  the  work  given  to  the 
church  to  do,  and  the  portion  of  it  which  it  is 
actually  doing,  grew  upon  me  immensely,  as  I 
listened  to  the  reports  of  committees,  the  ad- 
dresses of  speakers — some  from  mission  fields 
at  home  and  abroad — and  the  sermons  which 


100      Extracts  from  ax  Elder's  Diary. 

emphasized  the  claims  of  Christ  and  his  king- 
dom. The  apostoHc  enthusiasm,  at  which  we 
are  accustomed  to  Avonder  as  an  exceptional 
phenomenon,  seemed  to  me  sometimes  the  most 
natural  thing  in  the  world,  to  which  the  heart 
of  the  believer  in  Jesus  must  open  as  normally 
as  the  lungs  of  a  new-born  infant  do  to  the 
influx  of  the  air,  and  the  real  wonder  was,  that 
all  Christians  were  not  inspired  by  it.  God 
help  me,  in  all  time  to  come,  to  be  more 
affected  by  this  sacred  afflatus  than  I  have 
been  wont  to  be ! 

Fourth,  There  was  something  unspeakably 
refreshing  in  the  thought  which  often  came  to 
me,  that  I  was  here  consorting,  day  after  day, 
with  a  company  of  men  who  were  animated  by 
a  faith  in  a  spiritual  world,  and  influenced  by 
the  attractions  of  spiritual  objects.  I  suppose 
I  was  particularly  susceptible  to  an  impression 
of  this  kind  because  my  manner  of  life  has  kept 
me  so  constantly  under  the  influence  of  a  secu- 
lar element.  Ordinarily,  it  is  Avitli  men  who 
are  absorbed  with  the  desire  for  wealth,  and 
devoted  to  the  pursuit  of  it,  that  my  position 
requires  me  to  be  conversant.  As  a  man  of 
business,  I  must  talk  business,  or  hear  it  talked 
about,  from  morning  till  night,  until  the  con- 
sciousness of  a  spiritual  nature  in  myself  or 


The  General  Assembly.  101 

others  is  almost  expunged  from  my  mind.  Oh, 
what  a  relief  it  was  to  find  myself  in  a  society 
where  the  dialect  of  the  market,  and  the  arts 
of  the  financier,  and  the  infatuation  of  money- 
getting  were  unknown  !  Not  that  these  men  with 
whom  I  was  now  fraternizing  were  ascetics  who 
had  persuaded  themselves  that  the  abandon- 
ment of  common  sense,  and  the  sacrifice  of 
decency  and  comfort  constituted  religion,  but 
that  in  their  policy  the  love  of  the  world 
was  kept  in  subordination  to  aspiration  after 
spiritual  ends,  and  things  seen  and  temporal 
were  sought  and  used  only  as  auxiliaries  in 
the  acquisition  of  things  unseen  and  eternal. 
On  this  sordid  earth,  it  was  pleasant  to  find  a 
place  where  earthly  lusts  did  not  intrude,  where 
the  prevailing  passion  was  the  love  of  Christ, 
and  truth,  and  righteousness,  and  not  the  crav- 
ing for  riches  and  social  or  political  eminence, 
and  over  which  the  presence  of  the  Holy  Spirit 
might  complacently  brood. 

Fifth,  I  must  say  it  was  a  matter  of  un- 
feigned satisfaction  to  me  to  notice  that  the 
eldership,  as  a  part  of  the  constituency  of  the 
Assembly,  were  a  positive  and  not  merely  a 
negative  element.  They  received  in  a  marked 
way  the  respectful  appreciation  to  which  their 
rank   as   presbyters  entitled  them.     I  realized 


102       Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

from  this  fact  that  the  church  is  a  "spiritual 
commonwealth,"  and  not  a  hierarchy.  The 
popular  factor  in  it  was  more  than  a  shadow 
and  an  echo.  It  was  not  unfrequently  a  per- 
ceptible force,  and  a  salutary  one,  in  determin- 
ing action.  As  the  real  aspect  of  an  object 
may  be  better  ascertained  by  throwing  upon  it 
lights  drawn  from  different  quarters,  so  the 
acumen  and  culture  of  a  mind  expert  in  secular 
problems  may  be  advantageously  combined  with 
the  skill  derived  from  scholastic  research  and 
theological  training.  There  were  men  on  the 
floor  of  this  Assembly  who  could  see  points 
and  bearings  in  a  proposition  that  had  escaped 
the  eyes  of  spectacled  divines.  I  could  not,  of 
course,  pose  as  one  of  these,  and  could  only  sit 
dumb  while  the  oracles  spoke ;  but  I  am  sure 
there  were  some  among  my  brethren  in  the 
eldership  whose  clear  vision  and  practical  tact 
untied  for  me  many  a  knot  in  which  my  mind 
was  entangled,  and  through  their  gifts  and 
efforts  I  felt  that  the  oflBce  they  held  was 
abundantl}'  magnified. 

Sixth,  The  optimistic  view  I  have  been  ex- 
pressing must  be  toned  down  a  little  by  two 
other  reflections  which  I  have  brought  back 
from  this  meeting.  One  is,  that  the  idea  of  a 
"  dead  line,"  marking  the  exitiis  of  efficiency  in 


The  General  Assembly.  103 

the  life  of  ministers,  which  I  hear  of  occasion- 
ally as  floating  about  in  the  religious  commu- 
nity, seems  to  have  insinuated  itself,  to  some 
extent,  into  the  highest  court  of  our  church.  It 
seemed  to  me,  on  several  occasions  during  the 
sessions  of  the  late  Assembly,  that  the  elder 
and  more  mature  men  were  almost  interdicted 
from  taking  part  in  the  discussions  on  impor- 
tant subjects  by  the  forwardness  of  j-ounger 
members.  At  least,  the  opportunity  to  speak 
had  to  be  won  by  such  a  struggle,  such  an  out- 
lay of  voice,  and  such  alertness  of  motion  in 
catching  the  moderator's  attention,  that  the 
venerable  seers,  whose  conceptions  of  decorum^ 
probably,  had  been  derived  from  an  earlier  age^ 
or  whose  lung-power  and  physical  agility  were 
uneqaal  to  the  contest,  preferred  to  surrender 
their  rights  and  to  let  the  junior  prophets  take 
the  field.  Cho^ritably,  I  hoped  that  all  these 
Eldads  and  Medads  were  indeed  prophets,  and 
that  the  Lord  had  put  his  Spirit  upon  them; 
but  inwardly  and  emphatically,  I  said,  "Days 
should  speak,  and  multitude  of  years  should 
teach  wisdom." 

My  other  criticism  was  in  the  form  of  a  ques- 
tion :  Must  a  man's  opinions  be  so  identified 
with  his  personality,  that  to  dissent  from  the 
former  is  to  inflict  a  wrong  upon  the  latter?    It 


104      Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

seemed  to  me  that  some  of  the  speakers  took 
the  affirmative  view  of  this  question.  Perhaps 
people  generally  do.  I  infer  this  from  the 
exhibitions  of  temper  and  the  caustic  retorts 
which  sometimes  marred  the  equanimity  of  ;i 
debate.  Failure  to  see  the  correctness  or  the 
logical  sufficiency  of  the  opinions  expressed  by 
one  member  by  some  other  one  had  the  effect 
of  a  personal  affront  to  the  former.  Surely,  Ave 
are  none  of  us  embodied  truth.  Surely,  "wis- 
dom will  not  die  with  us,"  as  Job  reminds  his 
opponents.  In  my  humble  way  of  thinking, 
the  man  who  cannot  bear  to  have  the  correct- 
ness of  his  opinions  challenged  without  feeling 
that  he  has  suffered  a  personal  wrong  which 
calls  for  resentment,  has  claimed  for  himself  a 
position  which  lies  very  near  to  an  assertion  of 
infallibility.  I  am  not  qualified  to  philosophize 
upon  such  a  subject,  but  it  does  seem  to  me 
that  a  man  of  sound  mind  will  draw  a  line  of 
distinction  between  himself  and  his  opinions, 
at  least  so  far  as  to  remember  that,  when  he 
gives  his  opinions  to  me,  he  is  making  them 
mine  in  such  a  sense  that  I  can  inspect  them, 
weigh  them  in  my  scales,  and  form  an  opinion 
of  my  own  as  to  their  worth ;  and,  if  that  opin- 
ion does  not  accord  with  his,  I  am  not  injuring 
him,  for  it  is  his  gift  to  me,  not  himself,  whose 


The  Genekal  Assembly.  105 

merits  I  am  canvassing.  When  I  have  seen  the 
fire  of  passion  flushing  the  cheek  and  kindling 
the  eje  of  a  debater  on  a  church  phxtform,  I 
have  said,  If  there  is  wisdom  here,  there  is  cer- 
tainly lacking  something  which  St.  James  calls 
"the  meekness  of  wisdom." 


EXTRACT  XV. 

PASTORAL  CHANGES. 

Sunday,  October  31,  1880. — To  our  unspeak- 
able regret,  our  old  pastor,  Dr.  N ,  was 

obliged  by  accumulated  infirmities  to  close  his 
ministry  among  us.  For  more  than  twenty-five 
years  he  had  presided  over  this  flock,  and  his 
path,  during  that  long  period,  was  the  progress- 
ive one  of  "the  shining  light,  that  shineth  more 
and  more  unto  the  perfect  day."  The  spirit  of 
the  old  hero  Caleb  was  in  him,  but  he  could 
not  say,  as  that  stalwart  octogenarian  did,  at 
the  close  of  his  career,  "As  yet  I  am  as  strong 
this  day  as  I  was  in  the  day  that  Moses  sent 
me."  From  the  time  he  assumed  the  charge  of 
this  church  he  made  himself  one  with  it,  knit- 
ting himself  to  it  as  an  organic  element,  and, 
apparently,  never  entertaining  a  thought  or  a 
purpose  looking  to  a  change  of  location.  Nor 
had  it  ever  entered  into  the  minds  of  his  people 
to  desire  a  change.  A  review  of  his  history 
has  much  to  offer  in  favor  of  permanency  in 
the  pastorate;  and  I  am  satisfied  that  the  gen- 
eral law  of  the  church  should  contemplate  this 
permanency.  But  the  maintaining  of  such  a 
106 


Pastoral  Changes.  107 

permanency  assumes  that  there  must  be,  to  a 
considerable  extent  at  least,  a  permanency  or 
stability  in  a  congregation  ;  and,  unfortunately, 
in  the  present  day  this  condition  is  wanting. 
Dr.  N ,  in  his  latter  years,  has  often  re- 
marked to  me,  sadly :  "  The  world  renews  its 
youth  in  each  generation  that  comes  upon  the 
stage.  Man  has  no  such  successive  births,  or 
metamorphoses.  He  grows  only  older  as  the 
decades  advance,  until  some  day  he  awakes  to 
the  fact  that  the  current  life  of  the  world  has 
swept  beyond  him.  The  place  in  which  he  will 
feel  himself  more  sensibly  than  in  all  others  a 
stranger  will  be  his  native  town,  if  he  revisits 
it  after  the  lapse  of  fifty  years.  He  is  out  of 
date,  out  of  harmony  with  the  tastes,  the  modes 
of  thought,  the  susceptibilities  and  capabilities 
of  the  community  around  him.  1  ^vill  not  allow 
myself  to  think  that  it  is  a  new  gospel  that  the 
people  want,  but  they  do  want,  I  fear,  a  new 
way  of  setting  the  gospel  before  them.  Even 
familiarity  with  the  look,  manner,  voice,  and 
the  mental  processes  and  habits  of  a  preacher 
blunts  the  edge  of  his  counsels,  and  benumbs 
the  sensibility  of  both  ear  and  conscience  in 
the  hearer.  I  am  thankful,"  he  would  add, 
'•that  I  have  been  permitted  to  hold  my  ground 
so  long  in  this  field ;  but,  in   these  changeful 


108      Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

times,  I  do  not  blame  the  brother  who  chooses 
to  make  changes  in  his." 

One  thing  I  am  ghid  to  say  in  regard  to  the 
retirement  of  our  hite  pastor :  we  gave  him 
more  than  tears  at  parting;  we  provided  amply 
for  his  comfortable  support  during  his  declin- 
ing years. 

Such  an  event  creates  a  sort  of  crisis  in  the 
history  of  a  church.  It  was  new  to  us,  and  the 
session  realized  the  responsibilities  which  were 
laid  upon  them  under  this  unusual  condition  of 
affairs.  We  recognized  the  fact  that  a  minister 
is  a  gift  of  the  Lord ;  we  advised  a  devout  wait- 
ing for  divine  direction,  and  a  continual  and 
general  supplication  for  divine  illumination,  in 

the  effort  to  obtain  a  successor  to  Dr.  N-^ ; 

we  determined  that  the  stated  worship  of  God 
and  the  regular  operations  of  the  church  should 
be  continued  without  variation.  We  engaged 
supplies  for  our  pulpit-  as  we  could  obtain 
them,  and,  in  the  absence  of  these,  resolved, 
with  such  ability  as  we  had,  to  conduct  the 
public  services  of  the  Sabbath  and  of  the  week. 
We  gave  notice  that,  in  the  case  of  deaths  in 
the  congregation,  where  it  was  agreeable  to  the 
families  bereaved,  some  member  of  the  session 
would  be  ready  to  conduct  an  appropriate  ser- 
vice at  the  burial.     We  apportioned  the  terri- 


Pastoral  Changes.  109 

tory  of  the  congregation  into  convenient  dis- 
tricts, and  agreed  to  charge  ourselves,  sever- 
ally, with  the  work  of  family  visitation  during 
the  interregnum  in  the  pastorship. 

Under  this  arrangement  and  a  tolerably  faith- 
ful compliance  with  it,  we  have,  happily,  main- 
tained our  ecclesiastical  order  and  activity  with- 
out a  material  jar;  and,  as  a  crowning  blessing, 
we  have  been  led,  as  we  trust,  heartily  to  agree 

in  the  calling  of  a  suitable  man,  the  Rev.  S 

G W ,  to  become  our  pastor.     This 

call  was  accepted,  and  to-day,  by  a  commission 

of  the  presbytery,  Mr.  W was  formally 

installed  over  the  flock.  Our  dear  old  pastor 
was  present,  and  in  most  touching  terms  made 
the  closing  ])rayer,  "recommending  both  pastor 
and  people  to  the  grace  of  God,  and  his  holy 
keeping." 

As  the  senior  member  of  the  session,  I  do 
here  acknowledge,  with  special  gratitude,  the 
mercy  of  God  in  conducting  us  safely  thiough 
this  transition  state,  and  enabling  us,  his  stew- 
ards, at  the  close  of  it,  to  render  up,  like  Ezra's 
priests,  to  our  new  chief,  the  vessels  of  the 
Lord's  house,  without  loss  and  without  detri- 
ment. 


•   EXTRACT  XYI. 

TRIBULATION. 

Sunday,  Fehi'uary  20,  1881. — I  am  sitting 
io-night  under  the  shadow  of  a  great  affliction. 
I  am  tasting  a  sorrow  the  bitterness  of  which, 
in  multitudes  of  other  cases,  I  have  been  called 
to  witness  and  have  tried  to  soothe,  and  from 
which,  bj  the  singular  goodness  of  God,  I  have 
heretofore  been  exempt.  Yesterday  I  laid  in 
her  grave  my  youngest  child,  the  sweetest, 
brightest,  most  precious  link,  as  it  seemed  to 
us,  in  the  chain  of  our  family  life  aud  love. 
She  had  come,  like  the  evening  star,  to  gild 
our  sunset  sky,  and  make  luminous  the  scenes 
from  which  the  radiance  of  the  daylight  had 
largely  faded.  "W^e  had  often  thought,  with 
palpitating  hearts,  of  the  pain  we  should  ex- 
perience at  leaving  her;  we  had  never,  till 
recently,  anticipated  the  anguish  involved  in 
her  leaving  us.  The  silence  of  the  house, 
■which  every  one  seems  afraid  to  break;  the 
dreary  vacancy,  in  which  every  token  and 
charm  of  heme  life  seems  to  have  been  swal- 
lowed up  ;  this  mockery  of  occupation,  in  which 
"we  seem  to  be  moving  about  like  spectres ;  this 
110 


Tbibulation.  Ill 

reserve,  which  keeps  us  from  looking  in  one 
another's  faces,  lest  our  look  should  become 
tears,  and  from  speaking  to  one  another,  lest 
our  speech  should  end  in  a  sob;  this  stifling 
sense  of  falseness,  of  unreality  in  everything 
about  us;  oh,  this  living  deadness,  which  has 
enveloped  us  all,  is  teaching  us  what  the  death 
of  the  darling  of  the  household  means.  God 
help  us  to  learn  what  it  means  as  a  part  of  the 
discipline  he  applies  to  his  own  children  I  This 
"strange  thing,"  as  it  appears  to  the  eye  of 
nature,  must  not  be  thought  a  strange  thing 
when  surveyed  in  the  light  of  faith.  I  must 
escape  from  this  dark  spell  of  grief.  It  may 
beguile  me  into  a  presumptuous  questioning  of 
the  ways  of  God.  I  must  practice  the  trust 
and  submission  I  have  tried  to  encourage 
others,  under  similar  circumstances,  to  exer- 
cise. Perhaps  it  was  to  enable  me  to  do  this 
service  more  effectually  that  I  have  been  put 
through  this  trying  ordeal.  If  I  am  a  branch 
of  Christ,  the  "true  vine,"  the  purpose  of  my 
being  such  is  that  I  may  bear  fruit  to  the 
Husbandman's  glory.  I  must  accept  purging 
or  pruning  as  a  part  of  my  culture ;  and  the 
wise  Husbandman  cannot  err  in  the  form  in 
which  he  applies  it.  He  who  maketh  sore 
can   bind   up.     He    has    not    left    me    without 


112      Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

abundant  consolation  in  my  present  distress. 
Blessed  be  his  name ;  if  I  have  one  child  less 
on  earth,  he  has  one  more  in  heaven! 

Mj  daughter  had  reached  her  sixteenth  year. 
She  was,  literally,  full  of  life ;  full  to  the  sym- 
metrical completion  of  her  own  person,  and 
full  in  the  overflowing  sympathy,  kindness,  and 
geniality  with  which  she  affiliated  with  every 
other  being.  Her  natural  cheerfulness  threw  a 
sparkle  over  the  surface  oi  her  life  like  the  phos- 
phorescence on  the  wave,  but  beneath  there 
were  depths  of  thought  and  feeling  which  she 
seemed  instinctively  to  shrink  from  revealing. 
On  this  account,  while  there  was  evidence  that 
she  was  living  under  the  influence  of  genuine 
religious  conviction  and  principle,  she  main- 
tained a  persistent  silence  on  the  subject  of  her 
personal  spiritual  experience,  and  had,  invaria- 
bly, a  refusal  to  make  to  the  suggestion  I  often 
presented  to  her  in  recent  years,  that  it  was  her 
duty  to  profess  openly  her  faith  as  a  Christian. 
I  was  satisfied  that  it  was  the  intense  awe  with 
which  her  view  of  the  truths  of  religion  affected 
her  that  caused  her  diffidence ;  and  waited  for 
the  time  Avhen  the  seal  should  be  broken  and 
her  tongue  should  utter  the  confiding  words, 
"My  Lord  and  my  God."  The  time  came,  but 
in  a  way  that  I  had  not  anticipated. 


TUIBULATION.  113 

Early  in  the  spriug,  while  on  a  visit  to  the 
country,  she  contracted  a  severe  cold,  which 
developed  rapidly  into  Inng-disease.  The  sum- 
mer was  devoted  to  fruitless  efforts  for  her 
restoration,  and  ended  in  the  abandonment  of 
hope,  in  all  except  herself.  From  the  moun- 
tains, whither  we  had  carried  her,  we  brought 
our  patient  sufferer  home  to  die.  As  often  as 
her  strength  permitted  I  bore  her  in  my  arms, 
as  I. would  an  infant,  from  her  dreary  sick-room 
to  an  easy  chair  in  our  library,  from  the  window 
of  which  she  could  look  out  upon  the  street  and 
draw,  at  least,  the  semblance  of  diversion  from 
the  sights  which  were  passing  before  her. 

One  morning  in  December,  after  she  had 
been  exhausted  by  an  unusually  harassing  fit 
of  coughing,  she  had  desired  to  be  borne  to 
her  customary  seat,  and  I  had  gently  placed 
her  there.  We  were  alone.  After  resting  a 
few  moments,  she  gazed  at  me  with  an  intense 
earnestness,  and  said,  "Pa!  I  don't  think  I 
shall  ever  be  well." 

The  terrible  secret  which  had  been  long  dis- 
closed to  us,  her  friends,  and  which  had  been 
half-suspected,  but  never  uttered  by  herself 
before,  was  now  divulged.  I  had  been  waiting 
anxiously  for  such  a  revelation.  It  was  time 
the  truth  should  be  recognized  by  her.     With 


114      Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

such  composure  as  I  could  command,  I  replied, 
"My  child,  I  do  not  think  you  ever  will  be." 

She  burst  into  tears,  and  exclaimed,  "  Oh,  it 
is  so  awful  to  die  and  go  alone,  all  alone,  to 
meet  God!" 

There  was  a  pleading  look  in  her  eye  as  she 
gazed  at  me,  which  seemed  to  me  like  the  soul 
stretching  out  its  hands  to  me  for  succor.  It 
seemed  to  say  to  me,  "If  you  could  go  with 
me  I  would  not  be  afraid  to  die";  and  my 
heart  w^as  responding,  "If  such  a  thing  could 
be,  I  would  be  glad  to  go  with  you." 

But  we  both  felt  the  mysterious  bar  that 
separated  us  here.  She  had  crossed  a  circle 
over  which  I  could  not  pass,  within  which  my 
arm  could  no  longer  sustain  her.  I  could  only 
say  to  her,  "Mary,  don't  you  know  God  well 
enough  not  to  be  afraid  to  be  alone  with  him? 
He  has  been  with  you  all  your  days.  His  pre- 
sence has  been  fuU  of  tenderness,  kindness, 
mercy  and  grace  towards  you.  My  love  to  you 
has  been  bnt  a  faint  reflection  of  his  love  to 
you.  Does  he  not  say  in  the  Bible,  'As  one 
whom  his  mother  comforteth,  so  will  I  comfort 
you '  ?  Cannot  you  trust  yourself  with  him  as 
confidently  as  you  have  been  wont  to  trust  your- 
self to  the  care  of  us,  your  earthly  parents  ?  " 

And  then  I  spoke  to  hor  of  God  as  revealed 


Tribulation.  115 

to  us  iu  Jesus  Christ.  I  showed  her  how  that 
awful  "glory,"  the  first  thought  of  which  had 
appalled  her,  had  been  converted  into  the  soft 
radiance  of  love  as  it  beamed  from  the  face  of 
her  Saviour. 

"Nothing  but  sin  and  a  refusal  to  accept 
Christ  as  a  deliverer  from  its  guilt  and  power," 
I  told  her,  "  could  properly  make  us  afraid  of 
God.  What  Christ  is,  God  is,  to  the  soul  that 
believes  in  Christ.  Just  think  of  God  as  Jesus 
manifests  him  to  you,  3'earning  for  his  lost  chil- 
dren, providing  for  their  recovery,  welcoming 
them  on  their  return,  and  ask  yourself,  'Ought 
I  to  be  afraid  of  such  a  God,  even  though  I 
must  meet  him  all  alone?'  " 

I  talked  long  in  this  strain,  and  an  under- 
current of  prayer  was  going  along  with  all  that 
I  said. 

She  listened  silently,  till  I  asked,  "Mary,  do 
you  not  believe  iu  Jesus?  Do  you  not  love 
him?  ' 

Then,  with  a  gleam  lighting  up  the  languid 
eye,  she  answered,  "  I  do ;  I  know  I  do  " ;  and 
calmly  added,  "Pa,  I  had  forgotten  Jesus.  I 
am  not  alone ;  I  am  not  afraid  to  die ! " 

The  mist  had  vanished  from  the  dark  valley. 
She  never,  from  that  moment,  wavered  in  her 
trust.     She  said  but  little  of  her  feelings,  but 


116      Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

showed  bj  her  cheerful  eDdurance  of  her  suf- 
ferings, and  by  the  serenit}'  which  rested,  like 
the  sobered  light  of  the  setting  sun,  upon  her 
countenance,  that  the  "peace  of  God  was  keep- 
ing her  heart  and  mind  through  Christ  Jesus." 

Once  again,  while  sitting  in  her  easy  chair, 
alone  with  me,  she  said,  in  a  deliberate  way: 
"Pa,  I  have  been  thinking  about  my  dying  so 
young,  and  I  am  sure  God  knows  what  is  best 
for  me.  I  am  too  weak  to  meet  the  dangers  to 
which  I  might  be  exposed  in  the  woi'ld.  It  is 
better  that  I  should  go  now." 

A  few  mornings  before  her  departure,  after 
a  night  in  which  she  had  had  little  rest,  lifting 
her  emaciated  arm  from  her  bed,  she  cried  out, 
"This  poor  arm!  this  poor  arm!  it  is  so  tired!" 

"  My  darling,"  I  said,  "  soon  you  will  be  where 
the  inhabitant  shall  no  more  say,  'I  am  sick,' 
and  where  the  weary  shall  be  at  rest.  Isn't  the 
prospect  pleasant  ? " 

•"Oh!  delightful!  delightful!"  she  answered, 
with  rapture  in  her  tone ;  and  in  a  day  or  two 
more  she  left  us,  and  went,  all  alone,  to  be  with 
God. 

That  vivid  phrase,  "alone  with  God,"  the 
cry  of  a  startled  soul,  has  been  ringing  in  my 
ears  ever  since  I  heard  it,  and  I  think  will  live 
in  my  memory  to  my  dying  day.     It  shall  re- 


Tribulation.  117 

mind  me  of  the  awful  presence  which  is  always 
with  mc,  and  with  me  in  sucli  an  intimate  and 
transcendent  sense  as  makes  all  other  presences 
insignificant.  I  will  try  to  find  in  the  thought 
of  this  presence  an  intimation  of  the  solemn 
import  of  death.  It  is  the  soul  divorced  from 
every  other  object  in  the  universe  to  stand 
"alone  with  God."  All  that  made  up  the 
familiar  environment  of  life  retires  as  man 
steps  upon  that  unfamiliar  territory  claimed 
by  death.  The  foot  of  friendship,  of  parental 
love,  is  arrested  at  its  border.  The  sceptre 
and  the  hand  that  wielded  it  part  company 
there.  The  conjugal  bond  which  made  of 
twain  one  is  sundered  there,  and  the  "  one " 
is  riven  into  the  "twain"  again.  The  terras 
"property"  and  "owner"  lose  their  signifi- 
cance there,  and  all  to  which  the  dying  man 
gave  the  title  "mine"  floats  from  his  grasp 
into  that  of  another.  Every  attachment,  ever}^ 
interest  which  made  him  a  part  of  this  world, 
relaxes  its  hold.  A^isibly  to  the  observers,  as 
the  ship  loosed  from  its  moorings  drifts  out 
into  the  shoreless  sea,  he  is  borne  farther  and 
farther  from  the  reach  and  sight  of  all  human 
associations,  and  in  the  great  expanse  into  which 
he  is  gliding  the  mind  recognizes  nothing  but 
God.     The  blank  caused  by  the  dissolution  of 


118      Extracts  from  ax  Elder's  Diary. 

all  earthly  alliances  brings  out  with  a  distinct- 
ness which  every  one  feels  the  one  indissoluble 
alliance  which  binds  the  creature  to  the  Crea- 
tor. Death  is  the  dying  of  everything  else  to 
man  but  God ;  for  he  survives  when  everything 
else  perishes. 

The  overwhelming  force  of  this  thought  of 
the  loneliness  of  the  meeting  of  the  departing 
soul  with  God  was  never  so  impressed  upon 
my  mind  as  by  the  pathetic  utterance  of  my 
child.  Such  a  presence,  so  dreadfully  majestic; 
such  holiness,  so  infinitely  opposed  to  all  human 
infirmity  and  sin ;  such  knowledge,  from  which 
no  fault  can  be  concealed ;  such  power,  before 
which  mortal  prowess  can  no  more  brace  itself 
than  the  leaf  can  against  the  hurricane — who 
can  anticipate  a  meeting  with  all  this  without 
a  sinking  heart? 

And  then,  let  me  remember,  that  what  is  true 
of  the  moment  of  dying  is  true  of  all  life.  In 
the  loneliness  of  death  we  are  onl}'  discovering 
by  a  change  in  our  point  of  view  what  has 
always  existed.  For  are  we  not  "  all  alone 
with  God,"  in  our  several  relationship  and  re- 
sponsibility, at  every  step  in  our  course,  as 
truly  as  we  are  at  the  last?  Is  he  not  the  one 
being  Avith  whom,  beyond  all  other  commun- 
ings    and    transactings,    we     "have    to    do"? 


Tribulation.  119 

"  Whither  shall  I  flee  from  thy  presence  ? " 
asks  the  Psalmist.  God  so  encompassinij;  mau 
necessarily  makes  a  solitude  around  him ;  that 
is,  he  so  fills  the  sphere  occupied  by  his 
presence  that  nothing  else  can,  or  dare,  appear 
within  it.  When  he  speaks,  the  earth  is  com- 
manded to  keep  silence.  Before  him  no  other 
god  is  to  live.  No  object  can  dii^de  man's 
trust,  or  love,  or  homage,  or  worship,  with 
God.  There  is  always,  amidst  the  countless 
associations  of  life,  an  innermost  circle,  closer 
to  the  individual  than  any  other  by  which  he 
is  united  to  the  world,  in  which  God  is  speak- 
ing, and  in  which  he  reveals  himself  to  sight. 
And  there  no  other  being  can  be  seen,  no 
other  voice  can  be  heard.  It  is  the  infinite 
unit  clasping  the  finite  unit,  a  Horeb  spot 
where  the  Lord  meets  Moses  "  all  alone."  The 
fellowships  of  earth  may  blind  the  eyes  of  men 
to  this  fact.  They  maj^  divert  their  minds 
from  it  till  the  solitude  of  the  death-bed  forces 
it  upon  their  gaze.  But  they  do  not  reverse 
the  fact.  It  is  still  true,  that  living  as  well  as 
dying,  we  are  "  all  alone  with  God." 

Thank  God  such  tremendous  thoughts  do 
not  exhaust  the  meaning  of  the  phrase.  There 
is  a  sense  in  which  solitary  association  with 
God    becomes  a  precious  solace  for  the   loss 


120      Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

and  pain  involved  in  the  desolating  experi- 
ences to  wliicli  life  is  subject.  If  God  is  pro- 
pitiated towards  us,  and  we  can  rejoice  in  the 
adoption  of  his  sons,  what  happier  condition 
can  be  conceived  of  than  to  be  "  all  alone " 
with  him?  He  is  the  all-sufficient  one;  and 
with  him,  sharing  his  all-sufficiency  with  us, 
what  good,  can  we  want,  what  evil  can  we 
fear?  Surely  it  is  the  climax  of  bliss  to  be  all 
alone  with  those  whom  love  has  made  one  with 
us.  We  realize  then,  in  all  its  sweetness,  the 
fact  that  they  are  ours,  and  we  are  theirs. 
The  Christian,  shorn  of  his  worldly  wealth,  or 
bereft  of  the  fond  companionships  which  once 
garlanded  his  home,  is  still  able  to  feel,  in  all 
the  bitterness  of  his  loneliness,  that  though  the 
vanishing  joys,  of  earth  have  left  him  alone, 
they  have  still  left  him  "alone  with  God." 
Jesus  has  taught  us  the  blessed  secret  of  so 
living  all  alone  with  God  that  Ave  shall  not  be 
afraid  even  to  die  all  alone  with  him.  For  he 
is  our  propitiation,  who  has  changed  for  us 
"the  terror  of  the  Lord"  into  the  rapture 
which  can  exclaim,  "I  am  persuaded  that 
neither  death,  nor  life,  nor  angels,  nor  princi- 
palities, nor  powers,  nor  things  present,  nor 
things  to  come,  nor  height,  nor  depth,  nor  any 
other    creature,    shall   be    able  to  separate  us 


Tribulation.  121 

from  the  love  of  God  which  is  in  Christ  Jesus 
our  Lord  i " 

My  thoughts  on  this  sad  night  have  been 
almost  beyond  my  control.  It  is  not  I  who 
am  speaking,  but  a  dying  child  addressing  a 
smitten  father's  heart.  O  merciful  God,  grant 
that  in  all  time  to  come  the  remembrance  of 
my  lost  darling — my  evening  star  which  has  set 
to  us  to  shine  in  a  purer  hemisphere — may  lead 
me  to  live  more  closely,  more  truly,  "  alone 
with  thee!" 


EXTRACT  XVI  I. 

SESSION  MEETINGS. 

October  10,  1881. — Our  new  pastor,  Rev.  Mr. 

W ,  is  very  rigid  in  enforcing  upon  bis 

co-presbyters  in  the  session  their  obligations 
as  rulers  in  the  house  of  God.  He  gathers  us 
together  in  monthly  meetings,  and  insists  upon 
regularity  and  punctuality  in  our  attendance. 
The  meetings  are  not  a  new  feature  in  our  prac- 
tice, but  the  insistance  upon  fidelity  in  attending 
them  may  be  called  an  innovation  or,  perhaps, 

reformation.     Our    old   pastor,  Dr.    N , 

was  naturally  accomraodating,  and  in  his  latter 
years  grew  lax  in  his  regimen,  so  that  our  ses- 
sional conferences  were  only  occasionally  held. 

I,  for  one,  feel  that  I  am   experiencing  the 

benefit  of  the  new  order  of  things.     Mr.  W 

finds  many  matters  requiring  attention  in  our 
system  of  church  work.  It  is  like  repairing  an 
old  house.  The  process  is  a  sort  of  endless 
chain.  Each  improvement  reveals  the  necessity 
for  another.  Our  vigilant  moderator  always 
has  a  budget,  of  more  or  less  length,  prescrib- 
ing things  to  be  discussed  and  done,  so  that 
122 


Session  Meetings.  123 

our  meetings  are  never  idle  seasons.  There 
are  very  few  engagements  of  a  secnlar  kind 
that  I  do  not  feel  willing  to  give  np  in  order 
to  be  present  at  these  monthly  assemblies. 

Mr.   W 's   method   is  to   combine  the 

devotional  with  the  practical  in  the  conduct  of 
them.  We  meet  as  an  official,  and  not  merely 
social  body,  and,  of  course,  open  and  close  with 
prayer.  Between  these  prescribed  exercises, 
when  some  perplexing  subject  is  under  discus- 
sion, or  the  serious  course  our  thoughts  and 
utterances  have  taken  warrant  it,  he  calls  upon 
some  member  to  offer  prayer,  as  a  plea  for 
guidance,  or  an  expression  of  feeling.  This 
plan,  I  fancy,  keeps  us  more  sensibly  under 
the  conviction  that  the  presence  of  the  Holy 
Spirit,  which  we  formally  ask  for  at  the  outset, 
is  a  blessing  actually  vouchsafed  to  us.  Our 
regular  order  is — 

First,  To  dispatch  matters  of  business,  which 
are  strictly  pursued,  and,  if  piacticable,  brought 
to  a  conclusion.  Here  our  shrewd  president 
holds  the  scales  firmly  in  his  hands,  and  sees 
to  it  that  no  irrelevant  weights  are  throAvn  into 
them.  I  have  begun  to  suspect  that  a  Presby- 
terian tongue,  under  the  excitement  of  a  debate, 
needs,  like  the  ship,  when  "  driven  by  fierce 
winds,"  to  be  "  turned  about  with  a  very  small 


124      Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

helm  withersoever  the  governor  Ksteth."  I 
have  amused  myself  sometimes  in  thinking  I 
could  see  the  peculiarities  of  the  original  disci- 
ples reproduced,  in  a  small  way,  in  our  little 
circle.  To-night  we  had  under  consultation 
the  starting  of  a  new  mission  in  a  destitute 
part  of  our  city.  The  pastor  was  interested  in 
it,  and  was  pleading  earnestly  for  an  effort  on 
the  part  of  our  church  to  supply  this  spiritually 
famishing  multitude  with  bread.  There  was 
Thomas,  listening  incredulously,  and  respond- 
ing promptly,  ''Why,  Mr.  "W ,  I  could  as 

soon  believe  that  we  are  able  to  raise  the  dead 
as  to  christianize  this  people."  There  was 
practical  and  cautious  Philip  suggesting,  "  Two 
hundred  pennyworth  of  bread  is  not  sufficient 
for  them,  that  every  one  of  them  may  take  a 
little."  There  was  Andrew,  with  sympathy  in 
his  tone,  saying,  "I  know  where  I  can  lay  my 
hand  on  five  barley-loaves  and  two  small  fishes. 
But  what  are  they  among  so  many?"  There 
was  his  brother,  Peter,  ready  to  plunge  head- 
long into  the  enterprise,  regardless  of  all  diffi- 
culties and  risks,  because,  he  said,  "he  heard 
his  Master  speaking  to  him  out  of  the  dark  and 
bidding  him  come."  There  w^as  John,  with  a 
glow  upon  his  face,  remonstrating  tenderly, 
"  Beloved,  if  God  so  loved  us  we  ought  also  to 


Session  Meetings.  125 

love  one  another."  There  was  rugged  James, 
hurling  out  his  impatience  in  the  question,  "  If  a 
brother  or  sister  be  naked,  and  destitute  of  daily- 
food,  and  one  of  you  say  unto  them,  Depart  in. 
peace,  be  ye  warmed  and  filled ;  notwithstand- 
ing ye  give  them  not  those  things  which  are 
needful  to  the  body;  what  doth  it  profit?" 
There  was  Matthew,  the  financier,  saying  no- 
thing, but  busy  calculating  in  his  mind  the 
incomes  of  various  church  members  and  trying 
to  apportion  a  tax  upon  each,  which  might 
furnish  the  means  required  to  begin  the  mis- 
sion. Others  sat  silent,  staggered  by  the  evi- 
dent importance  of  the  scheme,  on  the  one 
hand,  and  by  the  apparent  impracticableness  of 
it  on  the  other. 

Mr.  W waited  till  this  explosion  had 

exhausted  itself,  and  then  quietly  remarked, 
"Brethren,  we  have  forgotten  the  resources 
which  lie  in  the  hands  of  him  who  has  said  to 
us,  'Give  ye  them  to  eat.'  Let  us  praj'  over 
the  matter,  and  take  it  up  again  at  our  next 
meeting." 

Such  diversities  do  not  impair  the  harmony 
of  our  intercourse.  They  impart  a  sort  of 
vivacity  to  what  is  often  very  prosaic  work. 
They  probably  make  more  manifest  the  spirit 
of  concord  which  really  lies  behind  them;  and 


126      Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

they  certainly  show  that  charitable  friction  raay 
be  the  means  of  evolving  light. 

Second,  in  order,  comes  what  I  may  call  a 
free  conversation  on  the  state  of  religion  in  our 
church.  We  are,  each  one,  expected  to  give 
our  impressions  of  things  favorable  or  un- 
favorable in  this  condition,  to  answer  the 
question  from  our  difterent  points  of  view, 
"Watchman,  what  of  the  night?"  to  suggest 
methods  for  fostering  the  good  seed  and  eradi- 
cating the  tares  which  the  enemy  may  have 
been  sowing,  and,  generally,  to  get  such  an 
intelligent  conception  of  the  state  of  our  field 
as  may  enable  us  to  understand  the  work  which 
is  given  us  to  do. 

Third,  if  time  allows,  we  engage  in  what  I 
believe  is  called  now-a-days  a  symposium,  in 
which  doctrinal  subjects,  the  action  of  church 
courts,  the  phases  of  the  religious  world,  ques- 
tions of  ecclesiastical  policy,  the  significance 
of  the  signs  of  the  times  from  the  pretentious 
"higher  criticism"  down  to  the  right  of  women 
to  play  pastor  and  evangelist,  and  of  children 
to  lead  the  crusade  of  the  church  against  an 
unbelieving  world — all  are  discussed  with  re- 
sults which  are  often  positively  edifying,  and 
sometimes  possibly  mystifying. 

One  thing  I  may  say  gratefully,  that  at  these 


Session  Meetings.  127 

conferences,  while  we  are  not  expected  to  ex- 
pose our  particular  "personal  experiences,"  we 
are  often  led  to  form  a  better  estimate  of  what 
our  experiences,  as  spiritual  men  and  office- 
bearers in  the  church  of  Christ,  ought  to  be; 
and  I  am  satisfied  that  if  the  elders  of  a  church, 
in  some  such  way,  "  spake  often  one  to 
another,"  they  Avould  find  that  the  Lord  had 
heard  them  and  graciously  blessed  their  com- 
munings. 


EXTRACT  XVIII. 

SOCIABILITY. 

Novemher  9,  1881. — I  am  obliged,  often,  now- 
a-days,  to  admit  that  the  physical  frame  fails  to 
give  support  to  the  behests  of  the  \\dll,  and  the 
cravings  of  the  heart,  as  it  has  been  wont  to  do 
in  past  years.  I  detect  this  enfeeblement  in 
many  directions.  I  am  made  aware  of  it,  per- 
haps, most  painfully,  in  the  dimness  which  has 
fallen  upon  my  eyesight,  by  which  the  discrimi- 
native power  of  the  organ  has  been  impaired. 
A  confused  vision  makes  it  difficult  for  me  to 
recognize  readily  the  persons,  even  friends, 
whom  I  meet  on  the  street.  This  disability 
necessarily  produces,  to  some  extent,  a  change 
of  manner,  which  is  not  always  understood  by 
those  before  w*hom  it  is  exhibited.  It  includes 
in  it  an  apparent  lack  of  spontaneity,  cordiality, 
or  warmtli,  in  my  address.  It  means  the  ab- 
sence of  a  salutation  where  one  was  expected, 
the  icy  rebuff  which  chills  the  kindly  glow  which 
was  Avarming  another  heart,  the  appearance 
of  indiffei'ence  to  one's  kind,  which  is  resented 
as  an  offence  to  itself  by  a  generous  nature.  It 
is  a  feature  which,  I  am  sure,  is  foreign  to  my 
128 


Sociability.  129 

disposition  and  habit.  It  lias  thrown  an  ob- 
struction, which  I  seriously  deplore,  in  the  way 
of  my  intercourse  with  my  neighbors.  I  have 
always  taken  pleasure  in  the  thought  that  I 
was  possessed  in  a  fair  degree  of  the  virtue  of 
sociability,  and  that  I  was  endowed  with  a 
good  measure  of  aptness  in  expressing  it.  My 
acquaintance  with  my  townsmen  has  been 
large,  and  there  have  been  few  among  them 
whom  I  could  not  approach  with  an  air  of 
familiarity  and  accost  in  a  tone  of  kindness. 
This  general  relationship  has  been  a  source  of 
gratification  to  me,  and  I  have  regarded  it  as  a 
talent  which  I  could  use  with  some  effect  for 
the  credit,  and,  perhaps,  the  propagation  of 
religion.  I  have  heard  it  related  of  an  old 
professor  in  a  theological  institution,  that  he 
used  to  say  to  his  students,  "Young  gentle- 
men, in  doing  good,  don't  be  afraid  of  putting 
too  many  irons  in  the  fire."  This  that  I  am 
referring  to  may  be  a  small  iron,  but  it  may  be 
the  medium  of  conveying  the  heat  which  shall 
convert  ore  into  gold. 

I  am  sure  that  an  elder  in  a  church  will  need 
to  have  his  tools  well  tempered,  and  the  limbs 
which  use  them  well  oiled  with  this  virtue,  in 
order  to  be  a  cunning  workman.  I  have  never 
forgotten  a  rather  brusque  salutation  I  received 
9 


130         EXTKACTS  FROM  AN  ElDER's  DiARY. 

soon  after  I  was  ordaiued  from  a  lawyer  of  our 
town,  "  Well,"  he  said,  "I  hear  they  have  been 
making  an  elder  of  you.  I  am  glad  I  shall  now 
know  one  of  your  class  of  whom  I  shall  not  be 
afraid.  When  I  was  a  little  boy,  and  a  Sunday- 
school  scholar  at  that,  I  once  got  into  a  brawl, 
and  almost  a  fight,  with  a  young  companion, 
on  the    square   where  we    had    been   pla^dng. 

Old  Mr.    B ,   an   elder  in  your  church, 

who  happened  to  be  passing,  rushed  at  us  with 
a  roar,  seized  me  with  one  hand  and  my  antag- 
onist with  the  other,  shook  us,  and  ordered  us 
off  to  our  homes.  The  next  day  my  father 
called  me  into  his  room,  told  me  that  he  had 
been  informed  that  I  had  been  disgracing 
myself  by  fighting  on  the  street,  and  gave  me 
a  whipping.  From  that  time  my  idea  of  a 
Presbyterian  elder  has  been  that  of  a  Rhada- 
manthus,  with  a  scowl  on  his  face,  a  rebuke  on 
his  tongue,  and  a  lash  in  his  hand.  I  hope 
you  will  be  a  better  representative  of  your 
order."  And  so  I  determined  to  be,  and  have 
religiously  tried  to  be. 

I  have  cultivated  sociability.  It  is  unfortu- 
nate when  it  has  to  be  cultivated,  and  I  was 
blessed  in  having  a  large  stock  of  it  infused 
into  my  natural  disposition.  But  it  can  be 
cultivated,  and  perhaps  in  every  case  requires 


Sociability.  131 

some  traiuing  and  regulatiug;  for  if  a  lack  of 
it  be  a  fault,  it  may  run  into  a  fault  through 
excess.  I  think  I  have  known  some  minis- 
ters who  have  depreciated  the  dignity  of  their 
office,  and  their  personal  influence,  by  an 
undue  effort  to  adapt  themselves  to  every 
social  circle  into  which  they  might  b^  thrown. 
The  proper  desire  to  affiliate  with  a  cheerful 
company  ma}'  lead  a  man  of  lively  tempera- 
ment into  what  the  Scripture  calls  "foolish 
talking  and  jesting,"  and  into  such  a  free  use 
of  joke  and  anecdote  as  may  sink  the  charac- 
ter of  the  teacher  of  religion  into  that  of  the 
humorist.  Certainly,  there  is  need  for  study, 
even  in  the  exercise  of  a  gift  or  virtue  which, 
more  than  all  other  things,  requires  to  be  wi- 
studied.  The  study  demanded,  I  imagine,  must 
begin  with  a  man's  own  heart  and  conscience, 
with  a  desire  to  act  "worthy  of  his  vocation" 
as  a  Christian,  and  to  exhibit  at  all  times  that 
sanctified  kindness  which  aims  to  do  a  person 
good,  while  it  furnishes  him  with  entertain- 
ment. It  would  be  a  happy  attainment  if  we 
could  always  so  conduct  our  intercourse  with 
our  fellowmen  that  it  should  in  every  case  be 
followed  by  the  remark  which  we  sometimes 
hear,  "I  always  feel  better  when  I  have  been 
with  that  man." 


132       Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

I  have  been  a  long  time  in  the  world,  and 
my  association  has  been  with  men  all  my  life; 
and  I  believe  the  shrewdest  of  them  will  be 
affected  materially  by  the  testimony  of  their 
senses  in  their  estimate  of  those  with  whom 
they  are  dealing.  I  know  it  is  true,  as  the 
Bible  says,  that  a  man's  "  words  may  be  softer 
than  oil,"  and  yet  be  as  deadly  as  the  "drawn 
swords  of  an  enemy  " ;  and  yet  every  one  knows 
that  "words  softer  than  oil"  are  the  genuine 
symbol  of  kindly  dispositions  and  are  so  ac- 
cepted everywhere.  The  inner  man,  the  invisi- 
ble spirit  which  makes  the  man,  is  constantly 
revealing  its  states  and  experiences  by  the 
phases  of  the  outer  man.  A  tear,  a  smile,  a 
frown,  a  gesture,  are  exponents  to  us  of  great 
commotions  in  the  soul,  and  are  terms  used  by 
us  to  describe  amplitudes  and  abysses  of  feel- 
ing for  which  we  have  no  other  adequate  vo- 
cabulary. So,  manner,  address  has  its  force  in 
life,  and  is  not  to  be  overlooked  as  a  part  of 
the  endowment  which  the  Christian  worker 
needs.  Sociabilitj',  discreetly  exercised,  will 
be  taken  as  an  index  of  commendable  qualities 
within  the  man,  and  the  absence  of  it  will  affix 
a  sinister  aspect  to  his  character.  I  have 
found  it,  if  I  am  not  mistaken,  a  key  to  the 
confidence  and  good-will  of  my  fellowmen.     Tt 


Sociability.  133" 

has  gained  for  me  the  credit  of  being  essen- 
tially friendly  and  sympathetic,  and  on  the 
basis  of  this  conviction  they  have  allowed  me, 
in  many  instances,  to  remind  them  of  their 
faults,  and  even  to  urge  upon  them  the  claims 
of  religion.  Men,  when  their  nature  is  acting 
in  a  healthy  way,  love  to  traist,  as  the  flower 
loves  to  bask  in  the  rays  of  the  sun ;  and  to 
trust  is  to  give  to  a  thing  the  validity  of  truth, 
and  to  use  it  as  a  true  thing.  And  so,  I  think, 
when  you  can  get  a  person  to  trust  you,  specifi- 
cally as  a  Christian  man,  you  have  gone  a  con- 
siderable way  in  winning  him  to  an  assent  to 
the  truth  of  the  Christian  religion.  Impres- 
sions, which  are  sensible,  or  which  are  ex- 
cited by  outward  causes,  may  penetrate  to  the 
spiritual  region,  and  awaken  con^'ictious  and 
affections  which  are  spiritual  in  their  nature. 
I  do  not  know  that  I  should  be  extravagant  if 
I  should  place  a  wise  practice  of  sociability 
among  the  means  of  grace.  And  the  young 
are  especially  susceptible  to  the  influence  of  an 
exhibition  of  it.  They  love  to  be  promptly 
recognized  and  kindly  addressed  by  older  per- 
sons; to  be  called  familiarly  by  their  names; 
to  be  made  to  feel  that  the}'  are  of  some  im- 
portance in  the  eyes  of  their  seniors  ;  and  they 
are  strengthened  in  their  eflbrts  at  right-doing, 


134      Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

and  their  struggles  against  temptation  to  do 
\vTong,  by  knowing  that  there  are  other  hearts 
concerned  in  their  triumphs  and  their  defeats. 
A  warm  grasp  of  the  hand  may  liave  the  effect 
to  withdraw  some  feeble  soul  from  the  -pit-fall 
into  which  it  is  about  to  step,  and  a  cordial 
reminder  of  a  Heavenly  Father's  love  may  apply 
the  check  to  the  prurient  appetites  of  the  in- 
cipient prodigal. 

The  word  "  churl "  is  an  odious  one,  and 
the  character  which  it  describes  is  one  Avhich 
assuredly  has  no  affinity  with  the  family  of 
God,  and  is  sadly  out  of  place  among  the 
officers  of  his  house.  May  the  Lord  forbid 
that  this  waning  eye-sight,  the  thought  of 
which  has  led  me  into  this  train  of  reflection, 
should  expose  me,  through  any  apparent  neg- 
lect of  courtesy  and  kindness  in  my  treatment 
of  my  fellowmen,  to  the  suspicion  of  belonging 
to  the  class  which  it  denotes ! 


EXTRACT  XIX. 

CHURCH  DISCIPLINE. 

May  22,  1882. — At  several  of  our  late  meet- 
ings of  session  we  have  been  painfully  con- 
fronted with  questions  touching  the  exercise  of 
discipline  in  our  church.  Certain  cases  of 
irregularity  in  the  walk  of  some  of  our  mem- 
bers have  been  brought  to  our  notice,  some  of 
which  we  are  constrained  to  believe  are  true. 
It  is  not  pleasant  to  deal  with  these  offenders, 
even  in  the  way  of  rebuke  and  admonition, 
which  we  all  admit  to  be  proper.  For  this,  we 
have  made  provision,  and  have  reason  to  hope 
that,  in  some  cases,  our  kindly  remonstrances 
have  been  effectual  in  abating  the  evil.  Others 
seem  to  some  of  our  number  of  such  a  flagrant 
character  as  to  call  for  judicial  action.  We 
have  stood  at  the  door  of  this  appalling  proce- 
dure for  mouths  without  venturing  across  the 
threshold.  We  have  sighed  over  the  faults  of 
our  erring  brethren.  We  have  deplored  the  scan- 
dal inflicted  on  the  church  by  their  malfeasance. 
We  have  said  something  ought  to  be  done  to 
vindicate  the  credit  of  religion  and  maintain  the 
185 


136      Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

purity  of  our  household  life.  \Ve  have  heard 
the  voice  of  the  great  Lawgiver,  saying,  let 
the  man  who  will  not  amend  his  wrong-doing 
upon  private  intercession,  nor  upon  the  judg- 
ment of  the  church,  "be  unto  thee  as  a  heathen 
man  and  a  publican,"  and  St.  Paul  saying  of 
the  unclean  man  at  Corinth,  "  Put  away  from 
among  yourselves  that  wicked  person."  We 
have  studied  the  fifteen  chapters  and  forty-three 
pages  of  our  Book  of  Church  Order,  prescrib- 
ing the  "Rules  of  Discipline,"  and  our  minds 
are  staggered  at  the  terrible  task  that  seems  to 
be  set  before  us.  The  sentiments  disclosed  by 
our  discussions  have  shown  a  disposition  to 
evade,  if  possible,  the  stern  reqiiirements  of 
these  rules  of  discipline. 

At  our  last  meeting,  when  this  subject  was 
under  consideration,  one  member  remarked, 
"To  my  mind  these  rules  are  bristling  all  over 
with  the  terms  and  technicalities  of  a  criminal 
code.  They  suggest  the  methods  of  a  "court 
of  assize  "  rather  than  those  of  a  council  of 
saints.  Such  words  as  "indictment,"  "cita- 
tion," "prosecutor,"  "accuser  and  accused," 
"offence,"  "censure"  and  "excommunication," 
seem  strangely  out  of  place  in  the  law  of  a  spir- 
itual commonwealth ;  and  I  confess  that  only 
some  desperate  necessity,  like  that  which  calls 


Church  Discipline.  137 

for  the  use  of  a  surgeon's  instrument,  could 
reconcile  me  to  the  processes  they  describe." 

Another  expressed  himself  in  this  wise  :  "  The 
execution  of  these  rules  is  an  impossibility. 
You  have  no  authority  by  which  you  can  en- 
force them.  Your  criminals  and  your  witnesses 
will  laugh  at  your  citations.  You  have  no  state 
now  backing  up  church  courts  with  threats  of 
fine  and  imprisonment.  The  day  when  the 
ghostly  power  of  Rome  could  bring  mouarchs 
to  a  bishop's  feet  is  past.  The  democratic 
spirit  of  the  age  is  revolting  against  the  claim 
of  rulership  wherever  such  revolt  is  possible. 
The  man  who  has  allowed  himself  to  become 
defiled  with  an  'offence'  is  not  likely  to  con- 
sent to  have  his  fault  publicly  exposed ;  nor  is 
he  likely,  as  it  seems  to  me,  to  be  reformed  by 
being  so  disgraced." 

A  third  objected  to  church  trials  on  the 
ground  that  they  almost  invariably  produce 
discords  and  resentments  by  which  the  whole 
body  is  injured,  and  particular  members,  per- 
haps, fatally  damaged;  and  sustained  his  ob- 
jection by  the  householder's  answer  to  his 
servants  in  the  parable  of  the  wheat  and  the 
tares,  that  they  should  refrain  from  attempting 
to  gather  out  the  tares,  but  rather  should  let 
both  grow  together  until  harvest,  lest  in  the 


138      Extracts  prom  an  Elder's  Diary. 

endeavor  to  rid  the  field  oi  the  tares  they 
should  "root  up  also  the  wheat  with  them." 
"It  is  poor  policy,"  he  added,  "to  blow  up 
your  house  with  dynamite  in  order  to  purge  it 
of  the  filth  that  had  got  lodged  in  some  of  its 
closets." 

A  fourth  was  of  the  opinion  that  the  Saviour 
had  given  us  a  clear  intimation  of  a  distinction 
between  the  spirit  of  his  economy  and  that  of 
the  Mosaic  law,  when,  in  the  Gospel  of  John, 
chapter  viii.,  he  said  to  the  adulterous  woman, 
who  by  the  latter  would  have  been  stoned  to 
death,  "  neither  do  I  condemn  thee ;  go  and 
sin  no  more." 

Still  another  observed  that,  to  his  view,  the 
scandal  from  which  it  was  proposed  to  relieve 
the  church  by  the  prosecution  of  offenders  was 
an  imaginary  rather  than  a  real  object.  "  For," 
he  argued,  "if  the  scandal  lies  in  the  detriment 
which  is  done  to  the  good  character  of  the 
church,  it  amounts  to  nothing.  Every  fair 
man  knows  that  a  heresy  or  an  immorality  is 
not  a  normal  index  of  the  character  of  a 
church.  The  very  fact  that  it  is  marked  as  an 
irregular  and  reprehensible  thing  shows  that 
it  is  at  variance  with  the  recognized  character 
of  the  church  and  with  the  nature  of  religion. 
The  presence  of  a  few  black  sheep  in  a  flock 


Church  Discipline.  139 

would  not  prove  that  the  breed  was  not  specifi- 
cally white;  and  those  who  point  to  an  intem- 
perate or  dishonest  man  in  a  church  and  cry, 
*  See  what  these  Christians'  pretensions  amount 
to,'  know  that  thej  are  uttering  a  fallacy,  and 
that  these  exceptional  types  are  not  genuine 
representatives  of  Christian  character.  The 
crooked  limb  is  noticed  because  of  its  diverse- 
uess  from  the  general  symmetry  of  the  tree; 
and  fiirther,"  he  added,  "  I  very  much  suspect 
that  the  heated  tempers,  the  indiscreet  words, 
the  collisions  of  feeling  which  are  apt  to  be 
engendered  by  a  chiirch  trial,  may  produce 
scandals  possibly  worse  in  virulence  and  more 
lasting  in  duration  than  those  which  the  court 
was  called  to  avert." 

Evidently,  the  drift  of  opinion  at  our  pro- 
tracted conference  was  not  leading  us  to  any 
practical  conclusion.  And  after  each  one  had 
contributed  his  share  to  the  fog  in  which  we 
were  involved,  our  clear-headed  pastor  closed 
the  discussion,  and  gave  us  a  little  tangible 
ground  to  rest  our  minds  upon  in  a  short  ad- 
dress. "Brethren,"  he  said,  "it  has  seemed  to 
me  that  the  jurisprudence  of  our  church  has 
been  under  trial  to-night  rather  than  oifenders 
against  its  morals  or  its  doctrinal  standards. 
I  wish  a  judicial  system,  free  from  the  objec- 


140      Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

tions  which  have  fallen  like  a  fusilade  from 
your  lips,  against  our  present  one,  could  be 
devised.  But  the  law  has  been  made  for  us, 
as  a  church,  by  those  who  were  authorized  to 
make  it,  and  we  have  accepted  it.  Until  it  is 
changed  by  a  similar  authority,  we  must  abide 
by  it,  and  trj-  to  maintain  it.  There  must  be  a 
law  in  all  organized  bodies.  It  is  the  principle 
Tipon  which  their  corporate  life  depends.  Our 
church  is  right  in  asserting  a  power  of  juris- 
diction as  a  part  of  its  function.  This  includes 
in  it  the  right  to  suppress,  as  far  as  it  can, 
whatever  is  fatal  to  the  existence  of  the  church, 
provided  the  methods  are  sanctioned  by  the 
word  of  God.  Extreme  discipline  may  be  ad- 
ministered in  extreme  cases.  The  exercise  of 
it  must  be  justified  by  an  obvious  necessity. 
This  idea  is  recognized  in  our  Book  of  Ordei'. 
It  teaches,  just  as  distinctly,  that  discipline  is 
never  to  be  administered  in  the  spirit  of  wrath 
or  of  personal  animosity.  The  motives  must 
be  fidelity  to  the  church's  head,  and  love  for 
the  souls  of  its  members.  The  rules  we  have 
been  commenting  upon  are  really  meant,  by 
the  precision  and  amplitude  with  which  they 
are  stated,  to  make  plain  the  intricacies  of  a 
delicate  procedure,  to  avoid  embarrassment  and 
mistake,  and  to  secure,  as  far  as  forethought 


Church  Discipline.  141 

can  do  it,  complete  justice  to  all  the  parties 
interested. 

"  My  private  desire  would  incline  me,  perhaps, 
to  simplify  methods  of  adjudication  and  to  dis- 
pense with  much  of  the  harsh  terminology  and 
rigid  formality  which  now  give  to  a  church 
court  so  much  the  look  of  a  secular  criminal 
tribunal.  Especially  would  I  like  to  see  these 
family  grievances  disposed  of  more  strictly 
within  the  family  walls,  and  the  humiliating 
exposures  involved  in  the  trial  of  offenders  and 
the  infliction  of  censure  eliminated  from  our 
practice. 

"  Happily  for  us,  my  brethren,  I  honestly  do 
not  see,  in  any  of  the  cases  brought  before  us, 
that  there  is  a  necessity  for  a  resort  to  the  pain- 
ful extremity  of  a  judicial  process.  We  may 
safely  wait  for  a  return  of  a  right  mind  to  our 
delinquent  brethren.  We  can  yet  pursue  them 
with  our  kind  expostulations.  We  can  yet 
pray  for  their  recovery  from  their  wanderings. 
In  the  meantime,  there  are,  possibly,  some 
faults  of  our  own,  which  the  consideration  of 
our  present  trouble  may  properly  bring  to  our 
attention. 

"First  of  all,  let  iis  ask  if  the  lapse  of  these 
fallen  kinsmen  might  not  have  been  averted  if 
we  had  been  vigilant  enough  in  noticing  the  be- 


142      Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

ginnings  of  their  decline,  and  prompt  enough  in 
going  to  them  with  our  fraternal  warnings  and 
admonitions.  The  elders,  who  are  among  the 
people,  should  show  their  fidelity  as  watchmen 
by  watching  closely  over  the  first  haltings  of 
the  weak  and  tempted  disciple,  and  checking 
his  downward  way  before  the  momentum  has 
become  irresistible. 

"And  second,  may  we  not  learn  a  lesson  as  to 
caution  in  receiving  members  into  the  church  ? 
I  am  convinced  we  are  betrayed  into  an  error 
by  our  zeal  to  witness  numerical  accessions 
to  the  memberhip  of  our  churches.  Quality, 
not  quantity,  is  the  thing  to  be  looked  at  mainly 
in  gathering  materials  for  the  upbuilding  of  the 
kingdom  of  God.  A  spiritual  temple  grows 
only  by  the  addition  of  'lively  stones.' 

"Third,  Let  us  remind  one  another,  as  we 
separate,  of  the  prophet's  counsel,  'If  the 
watchman  see  the  sword  coming,  and  blow  not 
the  trumpet,  and  the  people  be  not  warned; 
if  the  sword  come  and  take  any  person  from 
among  them,  he  is  taken  away  in  his  iniquity, 
but  his  blood  will  I  require  at  the  watchman's 
hand.'  " 

"Now,  let  us  pray  and  be  dismissed!" 


EXTRACT  XX. 

SOVEREIGN  GRACE. 

Sunday,  August  10, 1884. — My  services  have 
been  required  recently  in  administering  counsel 
in  a  case  of  spiritual  need,  where  extreme  deli- 
cacy was  called  for  in  the  method  of  address, 
and  where  the  result  has  been,  to  all  appear- 
ance, signally  gratifying.  Believing,  as  all 
Bible  Christians  must,  that  there  is  a  birth  of 
the  Spirit  as  real  as  is  the  birth  of  nature, 
many  of  us,  probably,  are  still  wont  to  couple 
with  our  belief  of  the  fact  a  conception  as  to 
what  the  mode  of  it  ought  to  be,  and  to  found 
this  conception  on  the  precedents  which  re- 
ligious biographies  have  presented  to  us,  or  on 
conclusions  drawn  fi'om  the  so-called  laws  of 
mind.  There  is  an  overlooking  here  of  the 
illimitable  scope  of  the  operations  of  such  an 
agent  as  the  Holy  Spirit,  a  fault  of  which  the 
Saviour  forewarns  us  when  he  draws  a  parallel 
between  these  operations  and  the  movements 
of  the  wind  blowing  "  where  it  listeth."  I  have 
received  a  great  enlargement  of  vision  on  this 
subject  by  what  I  have  been  called  to  witness. 
Salvation,  in  the  case  of  a  sinner,  is  the  result 
143 


144      Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

of  the  pure  grace  of  God.  It  must  be  so,  be- 
cause the  sinner  is  not  entitled  to  it,  and  God 
is  under  no  obligation  to  grant  it.  How  many 
precious  hopes  in  regard  to  the  departed  are 
born  of  this  doctrine !  The  exercises  of  a 
dying  hour  are  not  always  illusory.  Grace  can 
perform  its  regenerating  work  whenever  and 
wherever  God  is  pleased  to  bestow  his  mercy. 
It  is  the  height  of  presumption  for  living  men 
to  hang  their  hope  of  salvation  upon  the  oppor- 
tunities of  a  death-bed,  but  it  would  be  limit- 
ing the  grace  of  God  to  deny  that  even  upon 
this  extreme  field  it  can  achieve  its  victories 
and  win  its  trophies. 

The  case  which  has  awakened  these  reflec- 
tions was  that  of  a  young  man  who  was  to-day 
carried  to  his  grave.  I  was  doubly  attached  to 
him  because  his  father,  deceased  some  years 
ago,  was  my  particular  friend,  and  because  I 
had  seen  his  youth  spring  up  into  a  maturity 
of  almost  chivalric  proportions.  In  person  he 
was  well-formed  and  graceful,  with  a  hand- 
some countenance  and  a  winning  address. 
Good  social  position  and  adequate  means  had 
furnished  him  with  refinement,  and  culture. 
With  the  avidity  of  an  enthusiastic  nature,  he 
saw  and  coveted  the  enchantments  which  lay 
everywhere  within  his  bright  horizon.     Every 


Sovereign  Grace.  145 

avenue  which  stretched  before  him  was  begirt 
with  flowers,  and  every  flower  sparkled  with  a 
dew-drop.  It  was  the  spectacle  of  a  young 
eagle  waving  his  burnished  wing  in  the  morn- 
ing sunbeam.  In  such  an  element  it  is  not 
strange  that  serious  reflections  were  banished, 
and  the  restraints  of  religion  discarded.  He 
was  gay,  worldly-minded,  but  not  vicious.  The 
cup  of  earthly  pleasure  mantled  so  brightly  in 
his  hand  that  in  the  rapture  with  which  he 
quaffed  its  contents  he  discovered  no  evil  in 
the  draught,  and  felt  no  need  of  a  higher  good. 
No  one  dreamed  that  there  was  an  arrow 
making  its  way  unseen  through  the  air  tow^ards 
this  "shining  mark."  But  it  was  so.  Just  as 
he  approached  the  point  of  manhood,  a  blight, 
from  some  subtle  source,  revealed  itself  in  that 
goodly  frame.  Organic  troubles  of  a  compli- 
cated sort  began  to  make  alarming  havoc  of  its 
beauty  and  its  strength.  He  struggled  against 
the  mysterious  foe,  wearied  himself  in  seeking, 
in  every  quarter,  medical  aid  and  in  visiting 
health  resorts,  till  heart-sick  with  prolonged  dis- 
appointment, he  turned  his  feet  back  to  the 
seat  of  home-life  and  sympathy.  All  others  saw 
that  he  must  die.  From  his  own  eye,  as  is 
common  in  such  cases,  the  issue  was  con- 
cealed ;  and  the  rally,  the  rebound  into  health, 
10 


146      Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

was,  almost  to  the  last,  the  object  of  his  definite 
expectation. 

He  desired  mj'  visits  and  I  saw  him  fre- 
quently. I  deemed  it  most  proper,  in  my  ear- 
lier interviews  with  him,  not  to  dissipate  his 
hopes  of  recovery.  I  preferred  to  present  the 
subject  of  religion  to  him  as  something  con- 
nected with  life,  rather  than  as  a  mere  antidote 
to  death;  and  it  gave  me  special  confidence  in 
the  genuineness  of  the  convictions  and  feelings 
afterwards  expressed  by  him  that  they  were 
not  forced  into  existence  by  the  terror  of  the 
apprehended  catastrophe.  In  my  endeavor  to 
introduce  the  subject  to  him  I  found,  to  my 
surprise,  that  the  work,  to  a  great  extent,  had 
already  been  done.  "My  sickness,"  he  said  to 
me,  "has  been  sent  upon  me  to  make  me  think 
of  God  and  see  the  folly  of  a  worldl}'  life." 
And  then  he  added,  "  There  is  more  than  folly 
in  such  a  life — there  is  sin." 

Conscience,  enlightened  by  early  religious 
instruction,  or  rather,  let  me  say,  the  Spirit  of 
God,  had  been  busy  revealing  to  him  his  guilti- 
ness under  the  law  of  God,  and  preparing  him 
for  a  recognition  of  his  need  of  Christ  as  a 
Saviour  from  sin  and  the  appointed  way  to  the 
Father.  In  that  venture  of  faith  by  which  the 
soul  rests  upon  Christ  in  these  characters,  by 


Sovereign  Ghace.  147 

a  conscious  act  of  appropriatiug  confidence,  he 
hesitated  for  a  while,  hut  onl}'  for  a  while.  The 
darkness  in  which,  for  a  time,  he  groped,  yielded 
easily  to  a  presentation  of  the  doctrines  and 
promises  of  the  gospel;  and  gradually,  as  the 
dawning  light,  the  assurance,  "Jesus  loves  me, 
even  me,"  took  possession  of  his  heart.  Hence- 
forth, the  expectation  of  a  return  to  the  world 
which  he  still  cherished  was  coupled  with  the 
desire  of  consecrating  his  life  to  the  serving 
and  glorifying  of  his  Saviour. 

"You  will  not  be  ashamed  of  Jesus,  if  God 
spares  you  to  mingle  again  with  your  friends  ?  " 
I  asked. 

"No,"  Avas  his  emphatic  reply;  "I  want  to 
live  tliat  I  may  testify  of  him." 

The  fatal  crisis  came  sooner,  and  more 
abruptl}^,  than  any  one  had  anticipated.  Every 
one  about  him  was  startled  when  the  sudden 
premonitions  announced  its  approach.  He 
alone  was  calm.  In  an  instant,  without  a 
struggle  or  sign  of  regret,  the  hope  of  life 
which  had  buoyed  him  was  surrendered.  "  I 
am  dying,"  he  said,  "but  I  am  ready — I  am 
willing;"  and  then  added,  "send  for  the 
doctor,  that  he  may  relieve  me  of  suffering. 
But  Christ  is  with  me,  and  will  bear  me  to 
the    bosom    of    God."      As   an    aged   relative, 


148         EXTRATCS  FROM  AN  ElDER's  DiARY. 

whose  deafness  prevented  him  from  hearing 
his  whispered  utterances,  approached  his  bed- 
side, he  lifted  his  arm  and  pointed  upward. 
Fearing  that  his  gesture  had  not  been  under- 
stood, he  added,  "Tell  him  I  am  going  to 
heaven,    redeemed   by    the    blood    of    Jesus." 

His  remaining  hours  were  spent  in  giving 
expression  to  his  parting  wishes  and  counsels, 
and  when  all  was  done  he  said  to  a  beloved 
friend  who  was  bending  over  him,  "Now,  pray 
that  God  may  let  me  pass  away  in  unconscious- 
ness or  sleep ! "  And  turning  his  face  from  the 
weeping  throng  before  him,  in  a  moment  he 
lapsed  into  a  repose  as  gentle  as  an  infant's 
slumber.  Whether  he  was  unconscious  or 
asleep,  no  one  knew;  but  all  felt,  when,  a  little 
after,  the  spirit  was  known  to  have  gone,  that 
the  pitying  Father  had  heard  the  cry  of  his 
child,  and  sent  the  dread  messenger  to  do  his 
work  with  a  veiled  face  and  a  muffled  footstep. 

To  us  who  saw  this  history  evolving  itself 
in  its  successive  stages,  the  conclusion  was 
irresistible  and  was  spontaneously  expressed, 
"  This  is  none  other  than  a  literal  verification 
of  the  wonderful  declaration,  'As  many  as  re- 
ceived him,  to  them  gave  he  power  to  become 
the  sons  of  God,  even  to  them  that  believe  on 
his  name ;  which  were  born,  not  of  blood,  nor 


Sovereign  Grace.  149 

of  the  will  of  the  flesh,  nor  of  the  will  of  man, 
but  of  God.'"  A  divine  power,  prior  to,  and 
apart  from,  all  human  agency,  we  had  not  a 
doubt,  had  wrought  at  every  step  in  showing 
this  soul  the  path  of  life.  And  grace,  so  great 
and  so  condescending  are  the  tender  mercies 
of  our  God,  had  deigned  even  to  cause  the 
harsh  gate  of  death  to  turn  on  noiseless  hinges 
for  the  exit  of  this  trembling  "little  one." 

Surely,  I  may  adopt  with  renewed  confidence 
the  apostle's  creed,  "By  grace  are  ye  saved, 
through  faith ;  and  that,  not  of  yourselves,  it  is 
the  gift  of  God." 


EXTRACT  XXI. 

SPIRITUAL    COMMUNICATIONS. 

Sunday,  March  1,  1885. — We  bad  a  sermon 
to-daj  from  our  pastor,  which  has  been  to  me 
unusuall}'  rich,  both  in  instruction  and  in  sug- 
gestion. It  was  from  the  text,  John  xiv.  26, 
"But  the  Comforter,  which  is  the  Holy  Ghost, 
whom  the  Father  will  send  in  my  name,  he 
shall  teach  you  all  things,  and  bring  all  things 
to  your  remembrance  whatsoever  I  have  said 
unto  you."  It  was  clear,  like  the  view  one  gets 
from  a  mountain  top,  in  the  revelation  it  gave 
us  of  the -field  which  lay  within  the  limits  of 
our  vision ;  at  the  same  time  it  showed  us,  in 
the  spaces  beyond,  vast  stretches  of  heights 
and  depths,  which  we  could  only  dimly  descry. 
It  has  brought  to  my  recollection  some  facts 
which  have  lately  come  under  my  notice,  and 
which  have  led  me  into  a  good  deal  of  serious 
reflection,  and,  perhaps,  I  might  add,  specula- 
tion. 

An  excellent  lady,  whom  I  knew  and  esteemed 
very  highly,  both  for  her  personal  charms  and 
for  the  ornament  of  a  bright  Christian  charac- 
150 


Spiritual  Communications.  151 

ter,  had  been  prostrated  for  a  long  time  with  a 
pulmonary  affection,  in  a  city  south  of  us  where 
she  resided.  Her  husband  was  engaged  in  mer- 
cantile business,  and  was  required  frequently 
in  the  interests  of  his  house  to  make  excursions 
into  the  interior  of  the  country.  Her  decline 
was  so  gradual  that  he  felt  at  liberty  to  con- 
tinue these  excursions,  notwithstanding  her  ill- 
ness. During  his  last  absence  her  symptoms 
had  become  alarmingly  worse,  and  she  had 
gone  to  her  bed,  as  was  supposed,  never  to 
leave  it  alive.  About  the  same  time  intelli- 
gence arrived  that  Mr.  C ,  the  husband, 

had  been  attacked  violently  with  pneumonia  at 
a  little  railway  station  where  his  journey  had 
led  him,  and  had  been  conveyed,  in  a  very 
critical  condition,  to  the  residence  of  some  re- 
lations in  the  vicinity  of  our  city.     The  news  of 

his  illness  was  cautiously  revealed  to  Mrs. . 

She  divined  at  once  the  import  of  it,  and 
announced  her  purpose  to  go  to  her  husband. 
The  physician  and  attendants  declared  the 
project  impossible ;  but  she  confidently  affirmed 
that  the  Lord  would  give  her  strength,  and 
directed  preparations  for  her  journey  to  be 
made.  Supernaturally,  as  it  seemed,  strength 
came  to  her,  and  she  made  the  journey,  partly 
by  steamboat  and  partly  by  carriage.     It   was 


152      Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

after  her  arrival  that  I  first  visited  the  afflicted 
pair. 

Mr.  C.  had  been  a  man  of  moral  habits,  but 
so  devoted  to  his  secular  pursuits  that  the  sub- 
ject of  personal  religion  had  never  attracted 
his  attention.  To  mj  surprise,  on  entering  the 
sick-room,  I  found  tjie  wife,  emaciated  in  form 
but  full  of  energy  and  apparently  unconscious 
of  her  own  infirmities,  performing,  almost  solely, 
the  office  of  nurse  to  her  husband.  He  was 
utterly  prostrated,  could  hardly  turn  his  head, 
and  could  speak  only  in  broken  and  whispered 
sentences.  Mrs.  C.  was  singularly  cheerful  in 
her  manner,  and  after  telling  me  of  the  mar- 
vellous support  she  had  experienced  in  coming 
to  her  husband,  said,  "  I  knew  my  place  was 
liere,  and  something  within  told  me  that  God 
would  hear  my  prayer  and  enable  me  to  come. 
I  have  a  mission,  I  think,  to  lead  Herbert  to 
Christ." 

This  introduction  made  it  easy  for  me  to  pre- 
sent the  subject  of  religion  to  the  sick  man  at 
once.  I  did  so,  and  spoke  simply  of  the  needs 
of  a  sinful  soul,  of  the  provision  which  God 
had  made  for  these  needs  in  the  gospel,  and  of 
the  gracious  way  in  which  salvation  was  offered 
to  sinners  through  faith  in  Christ.  He  listened 
silently  but  attentively,  and  with  rather  a  dis- 


Spiritual  Communications.  153 

tressed  look,  remarked,  "  I  am  too  weak  to 
think  much  of  these  things  now,  but  I  will  try 
to.  I  know  they  are  important,  and  I  believe 
they  are  true." 

I  only  added,  "You  have  one  with  you  who 
has  uot  only  professed  religion,  but  lived  it; 
and  she  can  teach  it  to  you  better  than  any  one 
else.  She  has  prayers  laid  up  in  heaven  for 
man}'  years  for  you,  and  is  waiting  to  see  them 
answered." 

I  saw  him  almost  every  day  for  the  next  two 
weeks,  and  while  receiving  no  decided  expres- 
sion  of  his  faith  in  Christ,  I  was  sure  I  saw 
signs  of  a  penitent  and  believing  spirit  in  him. 
His  wife  shared  with  me  in  this  opinion,  "biit," 
she  would  exclaim,  "  I  long  to  see  him  have 
the  comfort  of  an  assured  hope  of  salvation!" 
A  night  or  two  before  his  death,  as  she  told 
me  the  next  morning,  after  lying  quiet  for  a 
long  time,  he  called  her  and  asked,  "Did  you 
speak  to  me  ?  " 

"No,"  she  said, "  I  thought  you  were  sleeping." 

"  I  have  not  slept — I  have  not  been  dream- 
ing," he  replied,  "but  I  heard  a  voice  saying 
to  me,  'Go  in  peace,  thy  sins  are  forgiven 
thee!'  could  it  have  been  Jesus?" 

"Yes,"  she  cried,  "I  am  sure  it  was  Jesus 
speaking  to  your  soul." 


154       Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

"  And  then,"  be  continued,  "  I  heard  songs 
away  up  in  the  sky,  giving  God  glory  for  a 
sinner  who  had  repented.  Could  this  have 
been  the  angels  rejoicing  over  me?" 

"Oh,  yes,"  she  replied,  "and  your  wife  re- 
joices with  them." 

His  face  was  placid  as  I  approached  him,  and 
stretching  out  his  hand  to  me  he  said,  feebly 
but  distinctly,  "  I  have  given  myself  to  Jesus, 
and  he  has  saved  me ! "  And  there  was  another 
one  added  to  the  rejoicing  thro,ng.  I  felt  in 
that  chamber  that  I  was  standing  "  quite  on 
the  verge  of  heaven."  His  peaceful  frame  con- 
tinued till  he  passed  away ;  and  his  faithful 
wife,  having  seen  her  mission  accomplished, 
and  his  body  laid  in  the  grave,  returned  to  her 
home,  and,  I  have  learned,  speedily  relapsed 
into  her  former  diseased  condition,  and  fol- 
lowed her  husband  to  the  home  of  Jesus  and 
the  angels. 

Was  this  a  freak  of  delirium,  or  the  halluci- 
nation of  a  fevered  brain?  There  was  no 
evidence  of  an  abnormal  condition  of  mind,  but, 
on  the  contrary,  every  appearance  of  sobriety. 
He  was  not  constitutionally  imaginative.  He 
had  been  remarkably  calm  throughout  his  sick- 
ness. He  made  no  allusion  to  his  revelations 
in  talking  with  me,  and  clearly  showed  no  dis- 


Spiritual  Communications.  155 

position  to  parade  them.  I  have  no  philosophy 
to  apply  to  the  facts ;  but  in  my  simple  way  of 
thinking,  I  am  more  than  willing  to  believe 
that,  on  that  border  territory  that  lies  between 
the  earthly  and  the  spiritual  spheres,  there  may 
be  such  an  overlapping  of  the  two,  that  com- 
munications from  the  spiritual  side  may  be 
given,  and  a  capacity  to  receive  them  devel- 
oj^ed,  on  the  earthly  side,  by  means  of  which, 
things  which  the  natural  eye  cannot  see,  and 
the  natural  ear  cannot  hear,  may  be  revealed 
to  a  soul  withdrawn,  for  the  most  part,  from 
the  conditions  of  the  earthly  sphere  and  enter- 
ing upon  those  of  the  spiritual  one. 

In  my  reading  I  have  met  with  the  phrase, 
"  the  sub-conscious  states  of  mind."  The  truth 
conve^^ed  by  the  phrase,  if  there  be  a  truth  in 
it,  lies  so  far  beyond  and  above  my  plane  of 
thinking,  that  I  am  afraid  to  say  that  I  have 
a  definite  conception  of  it.  I  fancy  that  it 
assigns  to  the  mind,  or  the  spiritual  self,  a  de- 
partment which  is  under  or  deeper  than  the 
ordinary  seat  of  consciousness.  It  does  not 
yield  us  the  ordinary  phenomena  of  conscious- 
ness, but  possesses  a  capacity  to  respond  to 
forces  of  an  extraordinary  sort,  and  gives  us  a 
consciousness  of  things  which  lie  beyond  the 
reach  of  natural  apprehension.     It  is  a  region 


156      Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

of  potentialities  which  may  come  into  acts  un- 
der special  inspirations.  Perhaps  I  may  liken 
it  to  an  instrument  of  ^olian  strings,  a  hidden 
harp,  lying  in  a  chamber  of  our  spiritual  na- 
ture, which  is  silent,  unknown,  till  the  breath 
of  some  extraordinary  breeze  wakens  it  into 
sound,  voice,  or  song.  Spiritual  fingers  touch 
these  strings,  and,  lo !  we  see  visions,  and  hear 
music,  which  we  never  saw  or  heard  before. 
The  fact  appears,  possibly,  in  regeneration, 
when  the  new-born  soul  expresses  itself  in 
such  utterances  as  these :  "  One  thing  I  know, 
that  whereas  I  was  blind,  now  I  see " ;  and 
"  old  things  are  passed  away ;  behold,  all  things 
are  become  new." 

Now,  may  not  the  spirit,  just  hovering  on  the 
confines  of  heaven,  get  communications  of 
heavenly  things  which  transcend  any  which  can 
come  to  it  from  the  earthly  side?  Through 
this  mysterious  sub-consciousness,  may  not 
Jesus  speak  to  his  departing  follower,  and  the 
angels'  minstrelsy  float  down  to  his  ear  ?  I 
feel  afraid  to  affirm  and  afraid  to  deny.  But  I 
must  say,  it  is  infinitely  pleasant  to  me  to 
believe  that  heaven  thus  stoops  down  to  cheer 
the  pilgrim  as  he  enters  its  radiant  atmosphere, 
and  that  John  Bunyan  was  not  wholly  dream- 
ing when  he  made  Christian,  as  he  approached 


Spiritual  Communications.  157 

the  Celestial  City,  see  "shiuing  ones"  sent 
forth  to  cheer  and  support  him,  and  hear  "  all 
the  bells  of  the  city  ringing  "  to  give  him  wel- 
come, and  the  melodious  noises  of  the  King's 
trumpeters  "making  the  heavens  to  echo"  with 
their  congratulations  at  his  victory.  This  pic- 
ture may  be  but  the  creation  of  a  poet's  fancy, 
but  I  must  confess  to  a  wish  that  it  were  true ; 
and  to  a  sympathy  with  Bunyan  when  he  gazes 
enraptured  at  the  glories  of  his  vision  and 
wishes  that  he  were  "  among  them." 

By  a  strange  coincidence,  I  met,  a  few  days 
after  the  death  of  Mr.  C ,  a  case  some- 
what similar  here  in  town.  A  friend  of  mine,  a 
man  of  some  forty-five  years  of  age,  a  scholar, 
and  a  professor  in  an  institution  of  learning, 
was  in  the  last  stage  of  consumption.  He  had 
been  confined  to  his  room  for  months,  during 
which  I  often  visited  him.  His  tastes  were 
refined  and  his  habits  correct.  He  made  no 
pretension  to  religion,  in  the  ordinary  sense  of 
the  word.  In  a  sense  of  his  own,  perhaps,  he 
called  himself  a  religious  man,  for  his  fault 
was  self-reliance,  or  self-conceit.  He  used  the 
phrases,  "I  think,"  "I  believe,"  as  if  his 
opinions  and  beliefs  settled  for  him  the  right 
or  wrong  of  any  proposition.  His  niind  was 
an  active  one,  and  he  prided  himself   on    his 


158      Extracts  fuom  an  Elder's  Diary. 

independent  use  of  it.  Respect  for  social 
opinion  led  him  to  be  a  supporter  of  Christi- 
anity, and  an  occasional  attendant  upon  the 
preaching  of  the  gospel.  Our  pastor  was  ac- 
CTistomed  to  say  of  him,  that  he  always  felt, 
when  he  saw  him  among  his  hearers,  that  he 
came  clad  in  a  coat  of  mail,  so  compact  and  pol- 
ished that  every  arrow  he  could  aim  at  him 
must  glance  off  without  leaving  a  dint. 

I  liked  his  company,  and  found  his  conversa- 
tion, on  most  subjects,  instructive.  In  my  visits 
to  him  after  his  confinement  to  his  sick-room, 
I  was  careful,  in  my  way  of  expressing  myself, 
to  assume  that  the  accepted  opinions  of  Pro- 
testant Christians  were  the  truth,  and  to  avoid 
being  led  into  a  discussion  upon  them.  He 
was  too  courteous,  generally,  to  introduce  one. 
He  expected  to  get  well,  for  he  had  reasoned 
himself  into  the  conviction  that  he  ought  to  be, 
and  so  must  be.  As  time  passed  on,  there  was 
an  evident  decline  in  his  confidence,  and  a 
growing  seriousness  in  his  view  of  things.  I 
ventured,  after  one  of  our  interviews,  to  pro- 
pose prayer,  and  his  reply  was,  "  Do  pray  for 
me,  for  I  need  It."     I  asked  him  if  he  would 

receive  a  visit  from  our  minister,  Mr.  W , 

to  which  he  said,  "Of  course;  tell  him  I  shall 
be  glad  to  see  him." 


Spiritual  Communications,  159 

Mr.  W bectime  iuterested  iu  him  ;  aud 

in  his  usually  discreet  way,  after  he  found  that 
his  presence  was  agreeable  to  him,  urged  upon 
him  the  claims  of  personal  religion.  He  frankly 
stated  some  of  the  views  he  had  been  wont  to 

hold  upon  this  subject,  to  which  Mr.  AV 

only  replied,  "Professor,  my  study  and  my 
experience,  too,  have  taught  me  that  I  am  sim- 
ply an  empty  vessel ;  and  that  God  is  the  foun- 
tain from  which  I  must  draw  my  supplies,  if  I 
would  know  the  truth.  Considering  that,  from 
the  very  constitution  of  my  nature,  I  must  have 
the  trutli  in  order  to  be  safe  in  this  life,  or  in 
any  other  life,  I  do  not  count  it  a  strange  thing 
that  God  has  furnished  me  with  light  in  his 
word,  and  that  that  word  has  come  to  me 
through  the  medium  of  a  divine  revealer,  such 
as  Jesus  Christ  claims  to  be.  I  have  taken  m}- 
little  bucket  and  gone  to  the  fountain  thus 
opened  to  me,  and  I  am  sure  that  every  need 
has  been  met,  every  condition  of  my  well-being 
supplied,  till  the  efficiency  of  the  provision, 
consciously  revealed  to  me  iu  daily  experience, 
has  become  to  me  the  best  demonstration  that 
its  contents  are,  indeed,  the  water  of  life." 

The  sick  man  only  remarked,  "I  believe  you 
have  done  wisely.  Look  at  me,  a  poor  dying 
imbecile,  with  a  thousand  tormentors  preying 


160      Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

upon  every  fibre  of  my  body,  and  yet  unable  to 
prevent  or  arrest  one  of  tliem!  Shall  such  a- 
creature  talk  of  being  sufficient  unto  himself? 
Yes,  sir,  I  congratulate  you!" 

"My  dear   friend,  will    you    not  go  and   do 

likewise?"   was   Mr.   W 's  reply,   as   he 

left  him. 

It  was  not  long  before  the  humbled  scholar 
confessed  the  folly  and  sinfulness  of  his  self- 
idolatry  and  rejoiced  in  the  revelation  of  Christ 
his  Saviour  God,  as  the  fountain  whose  fulness 
could  satisfy  his  every  need.  He  was  at  his 
own  request  baptized,  and  subsequently,  in 
company  with  a  few  friends,  sealed  his  faith 
by  partaking  of  the  memorial  supper  of  the 
Lord. 

The  morning  of  the  day  on  which  he  died  he 
said  to  me,  "I  don't  know  what  to  think  of  it, 
but  it  has  seemed  to  me  that  my  sainted  mother, 
who  gave  me  to  God  when  I  was  born,  and 
never  ceased  to  pray  for  me,  has  been  with  me 
all  night.  I  knew  her,  she  looked  so  natural, 
and  yet  so  strangely  bright  and  beautiful. 
"Was  it  an  illusion  ?  It  did  not  seem  so  to  me. 
And  the  sight  of  her  has  made  me  happier 
than  ever  and  anxious  to  go  to  her." 

"Believe  it  was  real,  my  friend,"  I  replied, 
"if  it  was  au  illusion,  it  was  a  prophecy.     She 


Spiritual  Communications.  161 

is  waiting  for  you,  and  God  is  telling  you  that 
you  shall  be  a  little  child  again,  by  her  side,  in 
your  Father's  house!" 

These  incidents,  and  the  long  list  of  similar 
ones  in  the  annals  of  the  saints,  have  been  of 
unspeakable  comfort  to  me,  in  abridging  the 
space  between  the  material  and  the  spiritual 
worlds,  and  in  suggesting,  at  least,  the  possi- 
bility of  communication  between  them.  And, 
hereafter,  when  I  read  or  sing  Bernard's,  the 
monk  of  Clugny,  wonderful  hymn — 

"  O  mother  dear,  Jerusalem, 

When  shall  I  come  to  thee  ? 
When  shall  my  soi'rows  have  an  end? — 

Thy  joys,  when  shall  I  see  ? 
O  happy  harbor  of  God's  saints ! 

O  sweet  and  pleasant  soil ! 
In  thee  no  sorrows  can  be  found, 

No  grief,  no  care,  no  toil," 

I  will  feel  that  the  dear  celestial  mother  coun- 
try has  become  more  dear  to  me  because  I  am 
permitted  to  believe  that  she  sends  forth  her 
"ministering  spirits"  to  sing  her  songs  to  her 
children  just  falling  asleep  in  Jesus,  and  allows 
the  glorified  human  mother  to  come  into  the 
darkness  of  the  dark  valley  to  welcome  a  son 
to  the  realms  of  the  heavenly  glory. 


11 


EXTRACT    XXII. 

THE  EVENTIDE. 

Wednesday,  December  24,  1890.— To-day  I 
commence  my  eightieth  year.  I  recognize  in 
many  of  its  particulars  the  correctness  of  the 
pictorial  description  of  old  age  in  Ecclesiastes, 
chapter  xii.,  especially  in  regard  to  the  bowing 
of  the  "  strong  men,"  and  the  darkening  of  the 
"  windows."  The  limbs  have  lost  their  vigor 
and  elasticity,  and  dimness  has  materially  im- 
paired the  outlook  of  the  eyes.  On  account  of 
this  latter  infirmity,  I  shall  have  to  abandon 
this  practice  of  noting  the  events  which  have 
arrested  my  attention  and  awakened  reflection 
in  my  humble  life,  or  call  in  the  aid  of  an 
amanuensis,  which,  I  fancy,  would  interfere 
with  the  freedom  with  which  I  have  been  wont 
to  indulge  in  my  lucubrations. 

I  wish,  at  least,  before  I  lay  down  my  pen,  to 
make  one  more  indorsement  of  the  inspired 
record  that  "  the  Lord  is  good,  and  his  mercy 
endureth  forever."  He  has  certainly  dealt 
kindly  with  me,  and  the  blessing  which  has 
given  peculiar  value  and  sweetness  to  all  other 
162 


The  Eventide.  163 

blessings  is  the  knowledge  that  all  my  bless- 
ings have  come  from  him.  It  i.s  religion  which 
has  made  my  life  a  happy  one,  in  the  absence 
of  most  of  those  adventitious  adjuncts  upon 
which  men  commonly  depend  for  such  a  result. 
I  have  been  under  the  necessity  of  constant 
labor;  I  have  been  thwarted  in  mauy  of  my 
schemes  for  bettering  my  worldly  estate;  I 
have  been  constrained  often  to  undergo  self- 
denial;  I  have  suffered  the  fretting  anxieties 
of  household  care,  and  I  have  felt  in  all  its 
keenness  tlie  anguish  of  bereavement.  Yet  I 
have  enjoyed  the  great  boon  of  a  definite  and 
reputable  occupation ;  I  have  had  almost  un- 
interrupted health;  I  have  known  the  whole- 
some comfort  of  contentment,  if  not  the  luxury 
of  gratified  ambition  ;  I  have  broadened  a  very 
contracted  life  by  the  sympathies  with  which  I 
have  entered  into  the  lives  of  others ;  I  have 
come  to  see  that  privations  were  safeguards 
against  the  snares  of  temptation,  and  afflictions 
the  chastenings  which  have  brought  me  to  a 
sense  of  my  faults.  Somehow,  as  I  review  the 
long  pathway  I  have  trodden,  and  the  scenes 
throiigh  which  it  has  conducted  me,  I  can  see 
how^  the  pillar  of  fire  and  cloud,  the  signal  of  a 
divine  guidance,  has  been  with  me  at  every 
step ;  and,  in  the  light  of  this  fact,  T  am  assured 


164      Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

that  my  jouruey  will  uot  fail  to  reach  its  pro- 
mised destination,  in  the  rest  prepared  for  the 
people  of  God. 

He  who  blessed  the  house  of  Obededom, 
because  the  ark  was  within  it,  has  blessed 
mine.  Harmony,  unselfishness,  and  aifection 
have  made  us,  literally,  a  united  family.  I 
have  had  five  children.  One  is  not,  for  God 
chose  her  to  be  the  first-fruits  of  the  flock  in 
heaven.  My  oldest  son  is  married  and  living 
near  me,  and  his  little  ones  cluster  about  me 
as  autumnal  blossoms  sometimes  come  to  deck 
the  nakedness  of  an  old  tree.  The  younger  is 
a  student  in  college,  and  my  hope  is  that  he 
may  be  called  of  God  to  enter  the  ministry. 
My  eldest  daughter  is  happily  married,  and 
lives   v/ithin   easy  reach  of  us,  at  the  town  of 

P .    The  last  one,  who  was  appropriately 

named  "Ruth,"  is  my  guardian  angel,  whose 
devotion  to  me  all  her  life  has  been  saying, 
"The  Lord  do  so  to  me,  and  more  also,  if 
anght  but  death  part  me  and  thee ; "  and 
whose  persistence  in  declining  all  other  alli- 
ances has  shown  her  determination  to  execute 
her  vow.  Since  the  death  of  my  wife,  six 
years  ago,  she  has  presided  over  my  home, 
and  done  all  that  filial  love  was  capable  of, 
in    healing    the    aching   numbness   of  my  dis- 


The  Eventide.  165 

severed  life.  All  my  children  are  communi- 
cants in  the  church. 

For  the  last  two  years  I  have  retired  from 
active  business,  and  removed  to  a  modest  little 
cottage  on  the  outskirts  of  our  city,  where,  in  a 
quietness  which  I  profoundly  enjoy,  I  await 
the  hour  when  my  sun,  like  the  natural  orb, 
which  I  watch  so  often  from  my  front  piazza 
descending  to  its  rest  in  the  western  sky,  shall 
sink  below  the  earthly  horizon. 

The  retrospect  of  my  life,  in  which,  like  most 
persons  in  old  age,  I  find  myself  often  engaging, 
leads  me  to  many  and  varied  reflections.  One 
is,  that  my  life  has  been  sadly  unproductive  of 
those  fruits  of  holiness  and  usefulness  hy  which 
God  is  glorified  by  his  servants.  The  things  of 
the  world  which  so  absorb  our  vision  in  our 
earlier  years  contract  their  dimensions  and 
lose  their  lustre  immensely  as  the  great  things 
of  eternity  loom  up  before  our  gaze ;  and  we 
wonder,  as  we  look  at  them  from  tlie  stand- 
point of  a  Christian  faith,  that  we  could  ever 
allow  their  attractions  to  outweigh  the  claims 
of  the  kingdom  of  God  to  our  thought  and 
labor.  The  obligations  we  are  under  to  the 
divine  Master,  who,  though  he  was  rich,  for 
our  enrichment  became  poor,  seem  so  immea- 
surable as   we    tliink    that   this    enrichment  is 


166      Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

soon  to  be  revealed  to  us,  that,  like  tlie  pub- 
lican, we  cry,  "God  be  merciful  to  us  sinners"; 
and  with  an  ardor  in  our  trust,  simpler  and 
stronger  than  that  with  which  we  first  came  to 
Christ,  we  lay  hold  of  his  righteousness  and 
hide  our  deformity  under  his  mantle,  graciously 
presented  to  us  in  the  gospel.  We  may  modify 
our  self-reproaches  by  reminding  ourselves  that 
our  talents  have  been  few,  and  our  sphere  of 
influence  limited,  but  the  disposition  to  make 
such  excuses  will  soon  vanish  before  the  stern 
conviction  that  we  have  fallen  short,  in  many 
ways,  of  that  perfect  consecration  to  Christ 
which  he  requires,  and  which  he  deserves. 

Still,  I  have  comforted  myself  by  reflecting 
that  I  know  that  my  life  as  a  Christian  has 
been  under  the  control  of  a  new  law  and  a  new 
principle ;  and  that  amidst  all  the  intrusions  of 
the  fleshly  mind  I  could  say,  as  Peter  did, 
"Lord,  thou  knowest  all  things,  thou  knowest 
that  I  love  thee."  There  is  a  satisfaction  in 
the  performing  of  a  religious  service,  which  is 
distinct  from  any  which  we  may  derive  from 
the  thought  that  we  are  doing  good,  or  even 
from  the  thought  that  we  are  getting  good.  It 
is  a  feeling  akin  to  that  pleasant  one  which  we 
derive  from  any  bodily  exercise  which  indicates 
physical  health,  as  the  joyous  note  of  the  bird 


The  Eventide.  1G7 

gets  its  tone  from  the  joyousness  of  a  sound 
organism.  The  consciousness  of  being  in  spir- 
itual health,  and  anything  which  confirms  this 
consciousness,  is  grateful  to  the  pious  mind.  I 
take  the  things  T  have  done  "for  Christ's  sake" 
as  evidence,  not  that  I  am  personally  deserving 
of  his  favor,  but  that  the  Spirit  of  Christ,  in 
some  measure,  is  dwelling  in  me ;  and  this  will 
sometimes  start  a  song,  even  in  the  midst  of 
my  self-upbraidings.  If  I  am  but  an  earthen 
vessel,  and  have  often  shown  my  earthly  ten- 
dencies, I  am  sure  that  I  am  the  receptacle  of  a 
divine  element.  If  it  is  but  a  few  sheaves  that 
I  can  point  to  as  the  result  of  my  gleanings  in 
the  Master's  field,  I  am  sure  that  it  is  the 
power  of  grace  which  has  prompted  and  en- 
abled me  to  gather  even  these  scanty  treasures. 
And  I  am  sure  my  Lord  will  not  disown  kin- 
ship with  one  who  bears  in  his  soul  even  so 
faint  a  reflection  of  his  own  image.  As  I  see 
the  night  in  which  no  man  can  work  darkening 
around  me,  I  prize  the  recollection  of  any  poor 
labors  I  have  performed  for  Christ  as  the  truest 
successes  of  my  life;  and  I  do  not  believe  that 
any  Christian,  on  his  death-bed,  ever  com- 
plained that  he  had  done  or  suffered  too  much 
in  the  service  of  his  Master. 

Anotber  reflection  which   has  been  a  solace 


168      Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

to  me  is,  that  there  is  a  potency  which  we  call 
influence  with  which  every  man  is  charged, 
and  by  which,  when  under  the  direction  of 
Christian  rule  and  motive,  he  may  be  the  instru- 
ment in  effecting  indefinite  good.  I  confess  I 
am  filled  with  awe  when  I  open  my  mind  to  the 
thought  of  this  invisible  power  which  is  ema- 
nating from  myself,  and  from  everything  in  the 
world  around  me.  I  nm  the  author  of  influ- 
ence, and  the  subject  of  influence,  whether  I 
will  it  or  not — whether  IJinow  it  or  not.  It  is 
like  the  fluid  which  pours  itself  through  the 
minute  veins  in  the  body  of  a  tree,  the  effect  of 
which  appears  in  the  fruit  of  the  olive  and  the 
vine,  or  Jn  the  poisonous  secretions  of  the  upas 
tree.  I  am  not  much  surprised  at  the  grand 
old  illusion  of  the  astrologers,  that  the  planets 
were  concerned  in  shaping  the  destiny  of  men 
and  nations  on  the  earth,  for  it  was  but  an 
unscientific  application  of  the  truth  that  influ- 
ence is  present  and  active  everywhere.  Their 
mistake  was  in  locating  in  the  stars  a  subtle 
power  which  reall}'  resides  in  man. 

Where  the  supreme  desire  is  to  make  life 
effective  in  producing  ameliorating  and  benefi- 
cent results,  what  an  incalculable  encourage- 
ment for  effort  and  what  a  boundless  field  to 
operate  upon  does  this  idea  furnish!     We  do 


The  Evkntide.  1H9 

not  see  where  the  impi'essions  we  originate 
touch  the  lives  of  those  with  whom  we  associate ; 
it  is  best,  perhaps,  that  we  should  uot ;  hut  by 
a  law  of  the  universe  they  abide  and  perpetuate 
themselves,  and  sweep  on  over  ages  and  genera- 
tions. Surely,  it  is  worth  Avhile  to  covet  and 
to  cultivate  an  endowment  like  this,  and  to  ap- 
preciate it  as  a  sacred  trust!  Wliat  do  we  see 
in  the  charitable  institutions  of  to-day  but  the 
effect  of  the  widow's  "two  mites,"  and  the 
Samaritan's  "oil  and  wine,"  preserved  to  us  in 
the  Bible,  to  teach  us,  among  other  lessons, 
perhaps,  the  potency  of  personal  influence? 

I  am  thankful  to  be  able  to  believe  that  in 
my  contracted  sphere  I  have  tried  to  exercise 
a  salutary  influence.  I  persuade  myself  that  in 
some  quarters,  as  in  my  home,  I  have  seen  the 
good  results  of  it.  And  I  have  been  cheered, 
in  several  instances,  by  letters  received  from 
persons  almost  forgotten,  giving  testimony  to 
the  sucess  of  my  humble  efforts,  in  past  years, 
to  lead  the  writers  to  the  love  of  God  and  the 
practice  of  religion. 

And  one  other  conviction  is  fastened  in  my 
mind.  I  revert  with  profound  gratitude  to  the 
good  hand  of  the  Lord  which  was  upon  me  in 
constraining  me  to  accept  the  office  of  ruling 
elder  in  the  church,  against  wliicli  my  iucb'ua- 


170       Extracts  from  an  Elder's  Diary. 

tious  so  strougly  rebelled.  I  liave  been  recom- 
pensed a  thousand  times  over  for  all  the 
anxieties,  toils,  and  mortifications  a  consent  to 
take  up  the  burden  cost  me.  The  assumption 
of  the  office  has  caused  me  to  lean  more  habit- 
ually upon  the  promised  grace  of  God  in  my 
Christian  life.  It  has  been  a  check  upon  the 
inordinate  claims  of  worldly  business,  and  a 
protection  to  the  spiritual  side  of  my  nature. 
It  has  given  me  facilities  and  opportunities  for 
engaging  in  religious  work.  It  has  developed 
faculties  which  would  otherwise  have  remained 
latent  or  inert.  -  It  has  been  to  me,  in  all  re- 
spects, an  eminent  means  of  grace.  It  has 
helped  me,  by  the  experience  through  which  it 
has  led  me,  to  gather  around  me  cheering  views 
of  God's  ways  of  dealing  with  me.  It  has  hung 
around  the  evening  of  my  life  memories  and 
hopes  as  radiant  as  those  golden  cloudlets 
which  I  marked  at  the  close  of  this  winter's 
day,  convoying  the  setting  sun  to  his  rest. 

Oh,  yes,  with  a  full  heart  "I  thank  Christ 
Jesus,  my  Lord,"  and  I  expect  to  thank  him 
throughout  eternity,  "that  he  has  counted  me 
worthy  to  be  put  into  this  ministry,"  and  given 
me  ability  and  fidelity,  in  some  feeble  measure, 
to  do  him  service  therein. 

And    were  it  in  my  power,  I  would  leave  it 


The  Eventide.  171 

as  a  clying  charge  to  all  to  whom  a  call  to  labor 
in  this  capacity,  in  the  edifying  of  the  church 
of  God,  may  be  addressed,  "Fear  not;  be 
strong;  go  np  to  the  mountains  and  bring 
wood,  and  build  the  house,  for  i  am  with  you, 
SAiTH  THE  Lord!" 


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